Tough Grits

A: No, because nobody ever tells me anything! Hmph! Q: How long have you known?

Pac-Man!!!!! I still have that game...I bought it for my PS2 on a collection of old games. I would play that games for HOURS at the arcade while my parents bowled in a bowling league! Pac-Man or Ms. Pac-Man?

He-Man. Wasn't Sheera is cousin or sister or something, just on her own show? Star Wars or Star Trek (TNG)?

Honor 8 a: a keen sense of ethical conduct : integrity <wouldn't do it as a matter of honor> b: one's word given as a guarantee of performance <on my honor, I will be there> I think that there are WAY too many concepts being regurgitated on this thread. If a person held a gun to my head and gave a choice between denying the Savior or dieing...then I would choose death. I will not renounce the Savior in this life. Because as soon as that person pulls the trigger, I will have died holding fast to the iron rod. That is honor, but it is NOT to be confused with a child or adult who was raped, but failed to get themselves killed. That is absurd. I imagine that those on this thread who suppose themselves to be the only ones "to get it" have never been raped. I do not wish molestation or rape on anybody, not even my enemies. But I think it is of the devil to say that a person must seek forgiveness for being raped or molested. I hope that I have seriously misunderstood those posts of some, and that they were not implying such filth. My hands shake as I type this, not just for myself (having been molested) but for all the precious sons and daughters of God who have been defiled at the hands of others. They did not sin, and they DID NOT relinquish any honor!!!! To be without honor is to lie, cheat, steal, commit adultery (being a victim of rape is NOT adultery), deny the Holy Ghost, and basically to break any of the commandments. I would choose death over denying God, Jesus Christ, or the Holy Ghost. But I refuse to believe that I should pray for death as an attacker rapes me. I will fight, but if it is God will that I should live after such an attack, then what mortal on this thread or on this earth has the right or authority to question God's will? Maybe I have misunderstood...but I refuse to question God's will. I survived being molested as a child, and nobody will tell me that I should be dead instead. Nobody will tell me that God erred in letting me live. Nobody will tell me that my life has been a waste. Nobody will tell me that I do not have honor. Nobody will tell me that I do not have virtue.

Virtue- 1: a particular moral excellence 7: chastity especially in a woman Physical virtue can be taken, in other words a girl's virginity can be forcibly taken. Spiritual virtue can only be given, not taken. We can choose to live beneath our standards, but nobody can force us to. So, while a rapist can take the virginity of any female (regardless of age), he does not have the power to strip her of her spiritual virtue. Only precious daughters of God have the power to strip themselves of virtue, but it is not something that can ever be ripped from them. I can only think of the precious daughter of God, Elizabeth Smart. My heart grieves that she will always have to live with what happened to her. Her virginity was forcibly taken from her. But her sweet virtue, that part of her that is spiritual not physical, cannot be robbed from her unless she lets it go. She is not an aberration, she is not evil. She committed no sin. She was a child who had to endure things that nobody should have to endure. At no point do I believe that God turned his back on that little girl. At no point did He look upon her in revulsion. She is the same sweet, beautiful daughter that she has always been to Him. I used to think that I would rather fight an attacker to the death (his or mine) than be raped. I am not so sure any more. Oh, trust me, I would fight. I have enough grit to know that an eyeball can only sustain so much pressure from a finger shoved forcibly into the socket! Yes, I WOULD fight. But I also know that I have two children who love me and need me. I have much to live for. My virtue would still be mine, regardless of what another forces upon me. I will die when it is God's will for me to die...and not a minute sooner.

Loudmouth, What you said truly touched me. I was having some problems with a few people a few years ago. Somebody who knew me very well, one day made this comment, "I just don't understand how you could forgive a family member who molested you, but you cannot forgive and let go of what [certain people] are doing to you." I had no answer at that time. I do now. I DO forgive the family member who hurt me. But that did not happen in an instant. It has taken me a LONG time of introspection, maturity, love, forgiveness, and understanding to overcome my tremendous hurt and pain over what that person did. Yes, I forgave. Yes I actually love this person and can hug them and give them sincere affection now. Well guess what? I can now do the same to the very people that I could not ever imagine myself ever hugging or wanting to be around again. It took time. For me, it also took distance. Being completely removed from the situation and removed from the offenders had a tremendous part to play in my healing. No, they are not my favorite people. But I do love them. I wish them well. There was a time and point where even thinking of them physically affected me. Thinking of them caused me physical, emotional, and mental pain. My spirit became affected too, but mostly because I had lost my grip on my anger and resentment towards them. Like I said, time and distance truly helped me to heal. I have learned, through this process, that we always have a choice. They did not MAKE me angry. They did not MAKE me resent them. They did make poor choices, but I made some poor choices too. I handled the situation the best that I could with what I knew at the time. I have to learned to forgive myself too. But in forgiving myself, I began to see that maybe they were merely doing the best that they could do at the time too. Although their best and my best apparently fell WAY too short of the mark...we all were doing what we thought was right. We all had accountability for all the pain that was caused by all the things we said and did to each other. Things seem so much better once they are past. But I can look to my life now and see where there are some pretty nasty thorns among the roses. I am just trying my best to learn from the whole awful situation a few years ago, and I am trying to not let it happen again. Tom, it is part of your journey right now to go through this. Hopefully, one day you will look back on this chapter with understanding and clarity. Hopefully, you will reach a point where this chapter in your life no longer causes you pain or strife. I love you. I feel for you, because the questions you are asking were questions that I was asking three/four years ago. I went through the refiners fire. It got real hot before it ever got any cooler...but I made it. And there will always be a new refiners fire waiting for me as soon as I emerge from the old one. This too shall pass. Just remember to reach out to those who you DO feel safe with, and alow them to sooth your wounds, allow them to lift you up when you feel down. Yes, you have Heavenly Father, but sometimes He uses His own children to answer the prayers of others. ~TG

joy

Interesting question. I was abused as a child. My cousin was too. From my perspective, here is what I see: 1. Child abuse IS reported more now than in the past. I have no reports on this. I just believe this. In the past things were swept under the rug and kept quite for the sake of the family. When I finally told somebody about my own molestation...there was still a fair amount of denial and cover up among extended family. It was scary for me to tell. I was so embarrassed and ashamed. I didn't want my father to know or hear about it, cause I thought he would stop loving me. I was very young. I have talked with my children about what is and what is NOT appropriate since they could understand spoken language. They have been told repeatedly that NOBODY, not even mommy or daddy, is allowed to touch them in a way that makes them uncomfortable or that involves a private area. I can only hope and pray that they are never abused, but if they are, then I hope that all our talks on this issue will give them the courage to come and tell me or their father. 2. Maybe there is more abuse now than in the past. I am not a mathematician, nor do I have any reports on this...but common sense would seem to indicate that if there are more people now then there are probably more cases of abuse. 3. I think that what society calls "entertainment" desensitizes all of us, especially those who already have a problem with unnatural desires. Thomas S. Monson, “Pornography—The Deadly Carrier,” Liahona, Nov 2001, 2 An excerpt from a paper that I wrote for ENGL on the evils of pornography. I want to make it clear that, to me, pornography is not just certain magazines or certain programs that have to be purchased on pay-per-view or rented in a video store. Pornography is much more subtle than that. I think alot of the shows on TV are too explicit and to graphic. I have put a lock on our TV where no program with any form of sexual content, visual or verbal, can be viewed without entering a code. I am the only one who knows the code. You would be shocked at the movies and shows that the TV will not allow to be viewed. 4. I also believe that how we dress our little ones DOES matter. Now, I do not know what triggered my molester to molest me. But I can definitely see that if a young person who is struggling with troubling thoughts sees a little child dressed in an inappropriate or immodest manner, then it makes that troubled person have to work all the harder to resist their dark thoughts. What about an older person who has already transgressed and abused children? How much harder is it for them to refrain from repeating their evil deeds, when they see little children dressed so immodestly? I do NOT believe that anybody asks to be raped or molested. But there are definitely things all around us than can facilitate certain things. I know that my chances of being mugged, raped, assaulted, or killed would probably increase if I walked the streets of an urban city in a bikini at night with a wad of cash in one hand and diamonds draped all over me. Some things are just obvious. Some things are not so obvious. How we dress our children needs to be something we think about before they are even born. Once the standards are set, then it is easier to stick to them. We only have ONE standard in our home. Not one standard for the kids and one standard for the adults. My husband and I have been to the temple. We know what we have to wear to be modest, and we dress our children in the same manner. When they are old enough to live on their own, then they can make that choice for themselves, but hopefully, after having lived a certain way all their lives they will not feel it necessary to change. I guess it is easier now, in this dispensation, to abuse ourselves and to abuse others due to all the filth that buffets us from every corner. But could that be the very reason that Heavenly Father has saved some of His most valiant spirits for last...so that they would have the strength to overcome wickedness as long as they kept Jesus Christ at the VERY center of their lives, thoughts, and actions?

I wanted to. Do you believe in dreams that come true?

Not really. I like answering questions. Do you have any more?

Sharks. That might be fun...uh, not. SpongeBob or Patrick?

Not that I am aware of. Do you always ask such personal questions? (LOL LOL)

Boat. Ocean or lake?

Yes. Can you read the fine print?

:roflmbo:

ballet shoes

Turning from Truth: A New Look at the Great Apostasy by Alexander B. Morrison DeseretBook.com - Turning from Truth: A New Look at the Great Apostasy I am swamped with college right now, but I am going to try reading this book. Has anybody read it yet?

A: Maybe they are eating supper. Q: Can I have a seat by the window?

dance

Dinner!!!! Chinese buffet or PIZZA!!!!!! reading a book or wathcing a movie?

A: Maybe on the next pass around the sun. Q: Aren't Saturns rings BEE-U-Tee-full?????

blank

joyful NOISE (LOL LOL)

A: Spaceship Earth Q: Where should we go next?

There are things that there is definitely no variance in what we believe...like God being our Father, Jesus Christ being our Savior, and the Holy Ghost being the witness of both. But there are so many things in life that are only a matter of interpretation, perception, level of testimony, level of knowledge, and our own life experiences. This topic is NOT so important, that we need to hurt other's feelings. Sometimes humans act like dogs...tinkling on trees to mark their territories. Well, some things are truly not worth "marking" a tree over. Good grief, just go find another tree! Just because a person does not see as we do, we suppose them to be clueless. Good grief. I don't think some of us have the lives we think we do if we have SO much time to bully other people for their own opinions. Wouldn't it show true intelligence and compassion to say, "Yes, I see your point. While I do not agree, I understand what you are saying." Sheesh.