MormonMama

I'm curious to know, how did this past Sunday go?

Lol, it's not my brain injury. DH is the one with the injury, and while he will never be as smart as some people, that's true of all of us. He has a kind heart and a good work ethic and he knows how to treat a lady. That makes him head and shoulders above many smarter people I know! :) I agree with you on this. I believe our understanding of science is very limited at this point. And I say this as someone who has a love of science and has studied it most of my life.

None of the men in my family are circumcised and none had any problems. If I'd had sons, I wouldn't have circumcised them.

Get back to church. I know how hard it is to go back when you've been inactive for awhile, but the Church can help you. Don't be ashamed to talk to your Bishop about what has been going on in your life (but if you don't want other members to know about your incarceration, then they don't need to know; it's none of their business). The Church can be a great source of support to you if you accept it.

Tattoos and excessive body piercings (more than one piercing in the ears for women or any piercings for men) are strongly discouraged in the Church, but Snow is right, they won't keep you out of the temple and I've never heard the Church label them as actual sins. As far as circumcision, it's entirely up to you. If you just want your son to look like all the other little boys, then you should know that the rate of circumcision in the U.S. is dropping sharply (down to 32% as of 2009). So if you live in the U.S. and you want your son to resemble other boys, you might want to NOT circumcise.

What does your doctor say about all this? Have you had a Priesthood blessing? I will pray for you.

Don't worry about filling anyone else's shoes. Mormons have shoes of all different sizes. I know I will never grow into some members' shoes. DH, due to a brain injury, will never grow into some members' shoes. But that's not why we're here. We're here just to grow and learn to the best of our own ability and not compare ourselves to others.

You're so right. I hadn't even thought of this, but we are actually going out to Mesa for a baby shower today and afterwards I'm going to stop by the temple and just walk the grounds and go in the visitors' center. It's better than nothing, that's for sure!! I think you might have hit on something there. I had horrible self-esteem growing up (in spite of growing up in a very loving and supportive family) and tried to commit suicide twice as a teenager in large part to being bullied and made fun of most of my childhood. Although my self-esteem is a lot better now, I think my subconscious is probably still very sensitive to anything I see as an attack on my self or my choices in life. I know I definitely feel responsible for converting those around me. I feel so afraid that the things I say may inadvertently push people away from the Gospel instead of toward it, so when I'm in a Gospel discussion with someone and they get offended or refuse to see the truth I feel like I must have done something wrong and failed Heavenly Father in some way and that I'll be held accountable for that. I think that's why I get so upset by this type of thing. I wonder how much of it is my own failure to properly convey the Gospel. I did report them, but I also put them on my ignore list so I don't know if any action was taken against them or not. I did have the blessing and privilege of seeing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir live last night with my daughter (they were in Arizona for the first time since 1966 for our 100th birthday). They really helped infuse me with the Spirit and I felt better than I'd felt all week. Something about seeing and hearing them live accomplished what listening to recorded Church music just couldn't do. I'm so glad we were able to go (and so glad the tickets were free)!

I actually tried that earlier in the week, thinking maybe I just needed to "burn it off", and it left me feeling absolutely horrible and like I didn't want to associate with anyone for fear that somehow some offense would come up and I'd be involved in another argument. I wish I could, but we're behind on tithing right now. I will be seeing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir tomorrow though, thanks to someone who gave two free tickets to my daughter. Maybe that will help.

Thanks. I guess I'm just going to have to "ignore user" as soon as I see that their comments are negative from now on. I kind of feel like I'm burying my head in the sand or not taking advantage of a missionary opportunity by doing that, but my bipolar and depression just seem to make handling situations like that worse, and I've never been good and conveying my thoughts well through the written word. I've offended so many times where I haven't meant to that maybe I'm just not meant to share the Gospel in that way.

I really love this post. I have bipolar disorder and depression and I have cut myself in the past and tried twice to commit suicide. I have asked for and received referrals to mental health professionals from my bishop in the past. Doing so did not keep me out of the temple, so I feel pretty safe in saying that the Church does not apparently consider having mental or emotional health issues to be a sin. Now if you know you have these issues and just don't care to get help, then that might fall into a grey area that I don't care to speculate on. Because really, if you have mental or emotional health issues, that can affect your ability to truly recognize your need for help to begin with. But it doesn't sound like that is the case for you, as you've already been receiving help. Continue to get help, counsel with you bishop and recognize that having these problems is something you were born with and just having mental or emotional issues is not a sin any more than being born with one arm or with autism is a sin. And yes, you will probably slip up from time to time, but even people without these disorders make mistakes and sin, so you're no worse off than them! That's what repentance is all about. :)

Ever since having an argument with two people on Amazon the other day about a book I reviewed 2 years ago (which I tried to keep from turning into an argument, but all they wanted to do was bash the Church and insult my intelligence; one of them followed me through THREE different reviews in an attempt to keep up the argument), I've had a hard time feeling the Spirit. It's not that they've shaken my faith at all, it's just that every time I try to do the things that usually bring the Spirit, like read my scriptures, read a Church-related book, listen to hymns, etc., even pray, I'm reminded of the argument and all the negative feelings associated with it. How can I bring the Spirit back into my life when all the spiritual things I usually do just remind me of that argument and dredge up negative feelings again? I know this is a tactic of Satan to get me to stop engaging in spiritual activities, but how do I combat it? I know I need to try and forget the argument and put the negative feelings behind me, but I've always had trouble just letting go of things that upset, hurt or anger me. How can I learn to let these feelings go and not let them interfere with my ability to feel the Spirit? I've tried to increase time spent focusing on spiritual things, but so far it isn't working and I've felt very negative all week. Others in my life have noticed my sour mood. Will it just take time?

I think that, at least to a point, this would have to be true. After all, I can't imagine anyone remaining an atheist after death when they discover there is life beyond. And if their core belief (or non-belief, as the case may be) as an atheist is shaken after death, what else will that cause them to rethink?

Lol! That's my DH. He came from a church where all the members and staff dressed casually. Shorts, t-shirts, that kind of thing. He HATES dressing up and gets out of his church clothes ASAP when church is over. I hate dressing up too, as a matter of fact. I'm totally a shorts, t-shirt, barefoot kind of person. But I dress up for church because I'm supposed to. I don't have to like it, but neither do I dwell on it. I just do it. Two years ago our ward split and we found ourselves in a new ward with almost no one we knew from the old ward, and no one at all that we'd been friends with. I wasn't comfortable in the new ward at all, not with the new bishop, not with anyone. I hated it. I was miserable. But I accepted that I had to attend the ward I lived in the boundaries for. Now, I LOVE this ward. I have many friends here and I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE our bishop! If I had refused to accept the change and gone to a ward I wasn't supposed to attend, I would have missed out on the blessings that my new ward has brought to me. It took me almost two years to see those blessings (or maybe I should say it took me that long to recognize them). Sometimes we just can't see the blessings right away. Sometimes we just don't even GET the blessings right away. Maybe on some things we won't even get the blessings in this life. We just have to trust that we are doing the right thing in following whatever the Lord asks or commands and that we will be blessed eventually. I absolutely LOVE the way you put this! I think it's a great way to look at it!

I don't think this is true. I have heard it taught in Sunday School that pride may be the worst sin because it leads to so many others. I know I saw a quote somewhere once that said something like pride was the root of all sin. After all, sexual immorality often has to do with getting what you want when you want, even thinking you're entitled to it (and that could probably be said about almost any sin). Is that not prideful? I think that a greater wrong does not make a lesser one okay. You can't say, "Well, at least they weren't doing this because they were doing that instead." That just paves the way for excuses. "Well, at least if I'm looking at porn then I'm not out there cheating on my spouse with another person." So in that regard, I can't agree with Lewis on that one. I'm sure any of those junior students who may have been traumatized by their seniors might agree with me.

Thanks everyone. I think I'm going to do this: I'm going to fast on the day I go to the temple next week, then while at the temple I'll pray about this matter. If I don't feel any sensations of peace or I still feel confused, I'll set everything on this matter aside for awhile. After all, no decision has to be made at this time, so maybe this is HF's way of telling me to let it go for now.

I think there are any number of situations where our happiness in the eternities could be in direct opposition to that of someone else. I don't know how I could possibly be happy if all my children aren't with me in the Celestial Kingdom, but two of them have chosen to leave the church. With my oldest, I have VERY little hope that she will ever return. I can't force her to. She wouldn't be happy if I could. So am I doomed to be forever miserable because I likely won't have at least one, possibly two, of my children with me for eternity? I just have to trust in the Lord that it will all work out and I WILL be happy, even if my daughter(s) aren't there. I have no idea how that will work, but the Lord has promised that if we live worthy of the Celestial Kingdom, we WILL have happiness there.

Well, I doubt that since I haven't worked on the degree since I received the prompting, lol. Or were you referring to the wildlife degree? I do think one reason I was prompted to move to Flagstaff was so that DH and I would realize just how much we really do love each other. I have to admit something: this time last year I was seriously considering divorcing him. We were not happy. But after being apart for 7 months (most of it anyway), we now know without doubt that we don't want to be apart. Even if I decided to continue pursuing my degree at NAU, I would wait until I could commute, until I could live there during the week and come home every weekend, or until DH and I could move together. Never again will we allow ourselves to be separated for weeks at a time. That's EXACTLY what I want to do (I call it "Wildlife Biology", but "Fish and Wildlife Management" was the official title), but had never found any online schools that offered that degree! I'd never heard of AMU before. Do you have to be a military member to attend that school? If so, do you know of any other online schools that offer this degree? I've never been in the military, but DH and my parents have. I should have thought of that! I'm going next week and I will definitely pray about it while there. I wouldn't say I felt a feeling of peace, more one of excitement. But perhaps that was just my excitement at being able to return home and not anything from the Lord? The thing is, I LOVED living in Flagstaff for the first few months, when I was able to go home every weekend. Then I had to get a job and had to work weekends. I was only able to go home once a month after that, and sometimes not even then. That's when things got hard and my depression got worse. I'm wondering if that had an effect and the "prompting" I felt was actually just my own desire to go home. Honestly, the way I feel right now I wish I'd stayed with the wildlife degree. While I do love kids and am looking forward to grandkids someday, I just don't feel like I want to work with them every day for years. I'm already losing patience with the kids I care for in the daycare, and that's not good. I've honestly never had much interest in working with older kids (like 8 or 9 and up), so if I don't have patience for younger kids and don't have interest in older kids, I doubt I'd make a good teacher. I certainly wouldn't want my kids to have a teacher like me!

If he had failed as a prophet, do you really think the Lord would have allowed him to be the prophet until the day he died?

If you had a child and you could read their mind and heart, would you want to just anticipate all their needs and give them everything they need and want before they ask for it? Or would you rather they learn to ask nicely? Would you rather have that dialogue with them? Would you rather they have the opportunity to ask for things you can't or aren't willing to give them, so that they can learn why they can't get everything they want, or why they don't always need what they think they do? I don't know if this is what goes through God's mind, but as a parent I would rather not hand my child everything they need and want before they even think to ask for it. How would we even know we've been blessed by God if he hands us those blessings before we even know we need or want them?

I'm actually closer to finishing the Biology degree. I have about a year to 1 1/2 years left on that, compared to about 2 1/2 years for Education (depending on if I can get classes when I need them; sometimes a class is only offered in the Spring or Fall, and if it won't work with other classes then you have to wait a whole year). I guess I'm just feeling like I REALLY don't want to do what I've felt prompted to do. I got out of the Education field years ago because as I did class observations and volunteered in my daughters' classrooms I found I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. And in talking with their teachers and with friends and relatives who teach, I just heard too many things that made me want to walk away. The only reason I decided to drop Biology and switch to Education was because I felt prompted to do so, in response to feelings that DH and I would one day care for a child with special needs (either through birth, adoption, fostering or in some other manner; I don't know how or when this child will come to us). But now that I've been working at a school for awhile and talking to teachers there as well as friends and family members who teach, I'm really dreading teaching. I just don't feel excited or enthused about it at all anymore. And as much as I'm enjoying working in a daycare right now, I already know I don't want to do it in 10 years. I'm just wondering if I misunderstood the prompting, or just let my depression at being separated from my family at the time warp what I thought I was feeling, or maybe the prompting even came from my own homesickness at the time (getting a Wildlife Biology degree involves going to school 2 hours away from home; and Education degree can be had in my home city). I guess my biggest issue right now is that the idea of doing what I might (or might not) have been prompted to do is just filling me with feelings of dread and distaste. I just really, REALLY don't think I want to teach, so I don't understand why I would be prompted to do so. I like being around children, but I don't want to do it all day every day. I've raised my kids. I really don't want to be spending 8 hours a day, 5 days a week with other people's. Not on a regular basis, and certainly not for years. So I'm wondering if the Lord really prompted me to change my major, or if it was my depression and bipolar disorder speaking, or just me being confused.

I wish that was true, but I've had businesses get hold of my phone number when I know darn well I never gave it to them and I NEVER authorize my number to be shared. It does happen.

Apparently so. Here it's very commonplace to not answer the phone if you don't want to talk. It's just accepted that sometimes people are just too busy or not in the mood. I don't know that the U.S. ever had a similar system. Not in my lifetime anyway. I guess I just don't see any usefulness in knowing whether I'm calling someone's cell phone or landline. If I know them, I already know which number goes to which phone. Huh? How did you get "people are idiots" out of my post? Unless they're psychic, they DON'T know why I'm not answering. I think companies just operate differently in the UK. Here, leaving messages is as common as breathing. You just expect that you will probably be leaving a message. When I have worked phones in a business in the past (and for church functions, volunteer functions, etc.) I ended up leaving a message more often than I talked to a person. I don't think it's luck, I think it's just the way it is here.

Thanks everyone. I greatly appreciate the support and advice. I'm thinking, after reading everyone's posts and pondering the subject, that I need to do more research in both fields and also try and determine my own strengths and weakness (maybe I'm meant for something completely unrelated to either). I have to admit though, that I know that at least one of my strengths lies in customer service (I've been told so over and over and over again in those types of jobs and I do excel in them), yet I absolutely ABHOR that field. I keep falling back into it when I can't get anything else, but I hate it and can't wait until I never have to do customer service again. So I hope I can find some other strengths, lol!! Is that the book? I did find it really cheap on Amazon. Or is there an online test I should be looking for? I did take a "vocational interest" test back in junior high, and I remember that my scores weighed heavily in forestry. And I have to admit that I LOVED all my forestry classes, but I also had a hard time remembering all the details of plant names, locations, etc. But I'm also someone who retains information better by just doing it, rather than through book learning, so maybe I would do fine in that field once I started getting hands-on experience. Anyway, I will definitely do some more studying and praying about this, and take that test you recommended. I know I have some time (at least a year) to decide, so I shouldn't let myself get stressed about this. Thank you again everyone! You have all been a great help! ETA: I forgot to mention that I also do volunteer service with both wildlife and domestic animals through my state's Game and Fish Department and through a local horse rescue facility (which also cares for other livestock animals such as goats, ducks, pigs, etc.). I absolutely LOVE working with these organizations, which is a big part of what is making me think a return to the Wildlife Biology degree might be in order.

I plan to finish my education, but my question is: what in? The Wildlife Biology degree I really want and think I will enjoy more (but jobs are harder to find in) or the Special Education degree that I abandoned in the past because I really don't think I want to teach, even if jobs are easier to get? I prayed about it today and just felt so conflicted that I think I'm going to have to wait awhile for my emotions to settle. Just-A-Guy, part of my problem is that I'm not really sure my "illumination" was genuine. It might have just been my emotions telling me that if I pursue an education degree I can move home, at a time when I was most homesick. Now that I'm home and working in the education environment, I'm remembering why I got out of that field in the first place. And I don't recall if I ever mentioned it on here, but this time last year I had a strong "illumination" that I was supposed to move to NAU to pursue my biology degree (though I think I was meant to get a different kind of education in that regard). Years ago I thought I had a VERY strong confirmation from the Lord on a course of action. Later I was able to look back and see how wrong I was (without going into detail, that course of action lead to me being disfellowshipped and having to go through the repentance process). So I know from past experience that I can horribly misinterpret the Spirit, and that's what I'm worried has happened in this case. I'm worried that my own desire to return home, coupled with the emotional disorders I have, caused me to think I got a prompting when I didn't.