MormonMama

I have a confession to make: I really don't like going to church. It's not that I don't love or believe in the Church. I do. I just have no interest in going to a physical location to "fellowship with the Saints" or anything like that. I'm much happier staying home reading the scriptures, watching Conference videos, etc. I've always been a loner and never liked groups of people. I prefer to be alone. I'm someone who could probably be happy living on a deserted island. I love being with my husband and kids and, to a lesser extent, my extended family, but that's it. I feel no need to socialize with others. I've always been this way. To me, going to church feels like it interferes with my personal immersion in the Gospel. I prefer to study and read on my own, without interruptions that being around others brings. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I know one of the temple recommend questions is "Do you attend your church meetings regularly" (if I remember right). I have to admit that I don't attend regularly and when I do attend it's out of a feeling of obligation and I don't enjoy it at all. Do I just need to suck it up and force myself to get past this? I've been a member for over 18 years and I've always felt this way. Again, it's not the Church itself. I absolutely believe it's true. I just don't feel a need to physically go sit with others.

Welcome! :) May God bless you in your fight against cancer. I will pray for healing for you.

I did find info on LDS.org about the shopping mall, but you must have misread it because here is a direct quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley on the matter: "But I wish to give the entire Church the assurance that tithing funds have not and will not be used to acquire this property. Nor will they be used in developing it for commercial purposes." Here is the link to the article. The quote is about halfway down the page: The Condition of the Church - general-conference

I think you mentioned that the computer is in your room? Get it out of your room. It needs to be in a public place in your house. I once changed jobs because I had a problem with a strong attraction to a co-worker that was causing me to behave inappropriately. You might also need to change jobs so that you are awake when everyone in the house is too. And as others have said, you may need outside help beyond your bishop. Also, do you have pictures of Christ and/or the temple in your room? I find that when inappropriate thoughts pop up, looking at pictures of the Savior, the temple, or other Church-related images helps nip the bad thoughts in the bud. So does singing hymns, especially Primary songs (no way do I want those bad thoughts in my head while teaching my kids Primary songs, so those songs are a big motivator for me to get rid of such thoughts). Find activities that get you out of the house. As someone else said, join a gym or find some other public activity to do. It might take you awhile to find something you can enjoy (or to learn to enjoy something you don't like at first), but change takes effort. Walk the grounds of your local temple and go inside the Visitor's Center, if there is one. Do everything you can to fill your mind with appropriate thoughts and images. Good luck. You CAN do this, but you most likely can't do it alone.

Is your mom getting any kind of counseling? Has she seen a doctor to determine if she is suffering from depression (not just the "life sucks" kind, but the kind with a hormonal or chemical cause)? A year and a half is a long time to mope. Certainly your dad refusing to make a decision one way or the other isn't helping, but at this point she shouldn't still be mired as deeply in sad, hopeless feelings. Has she counseled with her bishop? If I were your mom I would probably have instigated divorce proceedings by now, but it sounds like your mom just isn't willing or emotionally able to do that. I'm wondering if your dad is trying to further avoid being the "bad guy" by not divorcing your mom, in the hopes that your mom will divorce him. I say that because I wanted a divorce from my first husband LONG before I finally filed, in part because I didn't want to be the "bad guy". Good luck. This is a hard situation and I doubt there's any one right or wrong answer here. If your mom isn't getting any kind of counseling I would recommend strongly encouraging her to do so. Counseling with her bishop especially could help her decide what to do and how to move forward. If she is already in counseling and it's not helping, I'd find a different counselor. Sometimes you just need a different perspective.

This one says "Page Not Found": https://www.facebook.com/mormonwomen?ref=hl - Mormon Women: Who are We? And the Mormon Family and Mormons in Music pages both come up as the Mormon Family page.

If you can't go to church on Sundays due to job requirements, my understanding is that can't be held against you. I know a few members who hold a recommend and work on Sundays.

I have heard that these feelings are EXTREMELY common among members going through the temple for the first time. In fact, I was warned of this before I went by several people, which is probably a big reason why I didn't have those feelings. I was worried about remembering everything, definitely, but I understood from what others told me that I just wasn't going to remember or understand everything the first time through. I can tell you that, after 11 years of membership before I finally went to the temple, I felt an overwhelming emotion of joy and gratitude when I finally entered the Celestial room. I couldn't believe I'd finally made it there. I broke down in tears, literally. I have a feeling I'll have the same reaction if I make it to the Celestial Kingdom, only 1,000-fold. It does get better each time you go back. You'll understand more and more each time. Don't worry that you are somehow unworthy or not well enough prepared. Like I said, the feelings you had are quite normal, judging by what others who went through the temple before me had to say.

I guess I don't understand the whole brou-ha-ha. Unless either party was forced or coerced into the marriage, I just see it as something that was practiced in the past and isn't anymore (in our culture at least). I also have no problem accepting that it was a commandment of God. I don't pretend to always understand His reasons for things, but I do trust Him and accept His will.

Hello and welcome!

Welcome!!

Hello Sunbeep and Olivia!! Welcome!

That's awesome!!

This could be a factor, though of course only you can say for sure, with some introspection. I know I went through the same thing during the 4 1/2 years DH and I tried to conceive. I got tired of the false hopes and letdowns. I started getting angry, feeling like I couldn't deal with the emotional roller coaster anymore and part of me hated my body for not getting pregnant (even though we never did find out why it didn't happen back then). I also don't see anything wrong with wanting to wait another month or two due to your job. DH and I have already decided that if we have another baby, we would really like to time it so that it would be born at the end of the school year so I can stay home with the newborn all summer (I'm a school bus driver). Of course, things don't always happen when we want them to, but I see nothing wrong with trying to work it out for a specific time frame. I also agree with Irishcolleen about seeing a doctor, just in case. While miscarriages are quite common (sadly), two within 8 months can be cause for concern.

I also like singing a hymn, either mentally or out loud, reading my scriptures or any other church-related writings, if possible, or looking at pictures of the temple. Flood your mind with spiritual things to help push out negative thoughts.

Congratulations!!! Lol, something similar happened to my husband. No one realized it at the time, but the water in the baptismal font was ICE COLD. DH and our friend who was baptizing him went into the water and the baptism was performed, but during the event DH's feet slipped out from under him and started to float up to the surface. Our friend later said that he thought to himself, "I am NOT doing this again!!" and shoved DH down to make sure he was all the way under. Neither of you will ever be able to say your baptism was boring, lol!

For me, it would definitely depend on the age of the child, as well as other factors mentioned. When my oldest daughter was 1 and I was pregnant with #2 I took DD1 with me to the bank. I was just going to the ATM outside and it was a hot day, so I took the spare car key with me, left the car running and locked the door so no one would steal the car while I was at the ATM. I was literally about 5 feet away from the car. The ATM took me all of 2-3 minutes, then I went back to the car and tried to unlock it with the spare key. Surprise! The key didn't work (turns out it was for a vehicle of the same make, though entirely different model, that we no longer had; they keys were almost identical). A passerby tried to help me get a coat hanger forced through the window to unlock the door. No luck. After several minutes I called 911. The police came and tried to unlock the car with his jimmy stick and he couldn't get it to work either. By this time DD#1 had been in an idling car on a very hot day for a good 15 minutes or so. She was crying and I could see through the window that she was sweating. The police officer called the fire department and they also tried unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock. Finally, just as we were about to break a window (which if I'd been thinking clearly and not in a panic I would have done long before), one firefighter managed to force open the triangular window near the front of the door, I was able to slip my skinny (back then) arm through it and was just barely able to reach the switch for the door lock (thank goodness it was a power lock, or there would have been no switch close enough to reach). Even with the car running, the A/C didn't work that well at idle. My poor baby was soaked in sweat, red faced and in a panic. I felt absolutely horrible. I got a literal slap on the wrist from the police and a well-learned lesson. Never again will I leave a child in a car if they are too young to get out of their seat belt and unlock the door themselves, and even if they're old enough to do that I wouldn't with a young child. My mom left me in the car alone when I was five while she carried groceries into the house and I put the car in gear and it rolled out of the driveway! I have left my teenagers in the car alone, but they also know they can leave the car and come inside if they need to, and I've still never left them unless it's for a quick trip into a gas station or something similar. Otherwise, they come with me whether they want to or not.

Thank you! :) Thank you. I appreciate your honest and respectful response, all the more so since you disagree with my position in the first place. In any case, I haven't had any negative responses at all. I've had a few "likes" and surprisingly my very pro-GLBT rights daughter posted a supportive comment. I apologize to everyone about completely forgetting that you wouldn't be able to view my Facebook post, but you should be able to view the original blog as it is set to public, as Swiper did.

It's not even remotely political to me. I never said that in my blog or Facebook post, so I'm not sure why you would say something like that. Sorry, I totally forgot about that.

I saw Star Trek Into Darkness with my mom and daughter yesterday. Loved it. Prior to that it was probably either Courageous or Fireproof. Both are incredibly awesome.

I got so tired of seeing so many people I know posting on Facebook about how anyone who opposes gay marriage is full of hate, is judgmental, fearful of what is different, intolerant, etc. that I created a blog post about why I oppose gay marriage and linked it to Facebook. I tried to explain that my position is based on my faith and trust in God, in my belief in eternal blessings and that my position on gay marriage is truly based on love for others, not hate or fear. I'm sure some of my so-called "friends" will attack me for my view, perhaps even without reading the entire post. Some might even unfriend me, but I know any who do so are not truly my friends. I'll be sad to see them go, but if they're going to react like that then I guess I'm better off without them (though hopefully no one will go to that extreme). If anyone is curious about what I wrote, you can read it here: Hello! I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon): Why I am opposed to gay marriage and why it's because I LOVE people. Warning: it's pretty long! And if you're curious about what kind of reactions I get on Facebook, you can find my page here: https://www.facebook.com/mjduley?ref=tn_tnmn.

Thank you for the explanations guys!

Patriarch Eldred G. Smith has passed away at the age of 106. I'm curious though. It's said he was the "final of seven patriarchs to the church in general." What does this mean? Is a patriarch in this capacity not the same as the patriarchs who give patriarchal blessings?

Just watched Rise of the Guardians today. It was really cute.

Wednesday I dropped our baby off at the babysitters and got in my car to go to work. It started, then immediately died and wouldn't start again. I had to get a ride to work. Turns out it's the fuel pump. As of Wednesday, DH and I had not had a paycheck since the end of January (he's been off with his shoulder, me on maternity leave). We were literally down to our last $100. Yet many blessings have occurred for us in the days since. DH got his first paycheck the next day and it was about $300 more than we were expecting. I immediately paid tithing on it and the blessings started really rolling in. All day yesterday I was worried about the car, yet at the same time I kept feeling a sense of peace and a quiet voice in my head told me that it would all work out. Later that day my mom called me. A friend of hers recommended a mechanic she has used for years and luckily enough he lives not even a mile from where my car died, so he was able to use his truck to tow it to his home for free. The fuel pump we need is WAY cheaper than we were expecting and this guy will do the work for hundreds of dollars less than a garage would charge us. The car should be up and running in a few days. Today we received several refund checks totaling about $75.00 from our insurance company for some over charges. We also found out today that we have received a considerable amount in food stamps with another good chunk coming at the beginning of April (I've been trying to get some state assistance since DH and I both went off work back at the beginning of January!). That frees up grocery money for the next few months, money we can use to pay other bills as well as help us get through the lean summer months when our work hours drop (we're school bus drivers). It has been an amazing two days! I truly believe that the Lord is blessing us for having faith in Him and paying our tithing, even though the money we paid would have covered the cost of the fuel pump. He provided for us in other ways and we are incredibly grateful!