Be careful online.

[Lost_one]

Hi everyone,

Ive just had a very wierd time tonight. I was online and a friend i made about a year ago. started acting funny. She told me that she had some news for me. So not thinking much of it, i asked what it was.

It turned out, that she had called my parents house and told my sister that she was my girlfriend and that we were getting married.

Now i might be a Mormon (Well ex'ed Mormon) But i already have a wife and im not in the market for another one, thank you very much. I let my wife read what she was saying and also talked to my family, thinking that she was just playing a joke on me. Turned out, she really had done all this.

To say i was freaked would be an understatement. Thing is when i met this person, they were really nice and we had lots of good talks. We met on a Christian website, much like this one, so i didnt think anything about it. I guess i just thought, she is married and she is a christian, should be safe enough. She was also nearly 15 years older than me.

I guess the point of this post is to warn others. Im lucky, in that my wife believed me and knows nothing funny is going on, But just imagine if she wasnt understanding. This woman could have cost me everything. I will be so careful in future. I will still talk to people and make friends, as i dont think its right that one nut should stop me being friends with people.

Anyone else had something like this happen to them? Please share, as im still abit shaken by it and could use some prayers and support.

John

[MaidservantX]

I don't have any personal horror stories -- in fact, I hear good and great stories about how wonderful meetings and wonderful relationships come from the Internet.

However, I think your warning is very timely. You just. never. know. Always, always, always be careful, careful, careful. Even on good and wholesome sites.

On LDS.net we have an Internet Safety link at the top of the (home) page. I hope everyone reads and re-reads it, and follows its guidelines.

[WANDERER]

Take a deep breath and relax. Things didn't turn out bad, because you are not that person. The way we handle our relationships in life stands us in good stead when things like this happen.

I haven't really had the same experience that you have had. But I've been online friends with a guy for over a decade now. There have been times when he's been a bit on the fragile side and I've had to field flirting attempts ...these things happen. In that time, he's had two girlfriends...been married...had a baby...been divorced ...and is now looking at remarrying. Things are platonic between us and have stayed that way and he's a great friend.

It takes a bit of experience knowing when people are a little out of sync and diverting them from destructive behaviours in their relationships with others...and you can't always guess they're going through a period in their life where things are a bit 'off' or find a way of doing that.

As in this situation, where it came as a complete surprise and there was no forewarning.

The inevitable thing for this gal is, this time it was you...and it probably will be someone else. It's a rehearsal behaviour. While she may convey it as light-hearted, you don't do things like this without some sort of intent. She has some sorting out to do. It might be interesting to chat with her about what happened when she got engaged and the whole phonecall thingy...there's something behind that. But perhaps not...I don't think you can sort her out. There may be some long term mental health issues. Anyway, whatever her intent towards you was, it is going nowhere...there is nothing to panic about...there never was to start with.

Take care of yourself... this happens in life. Laws apply on the internet in the same way that they do in real life (stalking, fraud etc). There are a number of things that you can do if this goes further than it has. It's not pleasant to handle or deal with...but inevitably...you are going to be fine. Her, however, not looking so good.

[Lost_one]

I don't have any personal horror stories -- in fact, I hear good and great stories about how wonderful meetings and wonderful relationships come from the Internet.

However, I think your warning is very timely. You just. never. know. Always, always, always be careful, careful, careful. Even on good and wholesome sites.

On LDS.net we have an Internet Safety link at the top of the (home) page. I hope everyone reads and re-reads it, and follows its guidelines.

I also hope this. But with me, it was almost a year of friendship. I even chatted with her husband. I just dont know where this came from. Oh well, hopefully its dealt with now.

Take a deep breath and relax. Things didn't turn out bad, because you are not that person. The way we handle our relationships in life stands us in good stead when things like this happen.

I haven't really had the same experience that you have had. But I've been online friends with a guy for over a decade now. There have been times when he's been a bit on the fragile side and I've had to field flirting attempts ...these things happen. In that time, he's had two girlfriends...been married...had a baby...been divorced ...and is now looking at remarrying. Things are platonic between us and have stayed that way and he's a great friend.

It takes a bit of experience knowing when people are a little out of sync and diverting them from destructive behaviours in their relationships with others...and you can't always guess they're going through a period in their life where things are a bit 'off' or find a way of doing that.

As in this situation, where it came as a complete surprise and there was no forewarning.

The inevitable thing for this gal is, this time it was you...and it probably will be someone else. It's a rehearsal behaviour. While she may convey it as light-hearted, you don't do things like this without some sort of intent. She has some sorting out to do. It might be interesting to chat with her about what happened when she got engaged and the whole phonecall thingy...there's something behind that. But perhaps not...I don't think you can sort her out. There may be some long term mental health issues. Anyway, whatever her intent towards you was, it is going nowhere...there is nothing to panic about...there never was to start with.

Take care of yourself... this happens in life. Laws apply on the internet in the same way that they do in real life (stalking, fraud etc). There are a number of things that you can do if this goes further than it has. It's not pleasant to handle or deal with...but inevitably...you are going to be fine. Her, however, not looking so good.

One of the things i did, was sat down with my wife and wrote a formal email to this woman, explaining the situation. I advised her to seek medical help and also made it plain, that if she contacted myself or my family, that i would take legal action. She hasnt emailed since.

As i said though, it doesnt matter how long you know someone, you just cannot let yourself be put in a situation that is wrong. Im just glad, those around me, know me better.

[WANDERER]

Where it came from...? these things can come out of nowhere...some people do live in a very different world from reality.

Glad that things seem to be sorted out and that there's been no further contact.

[MorningStar]

Thank you for sharing that. I had a rather unpleasant experience myself, but not as bad as that. There are some women I've been talking to for three years and the only way I felt safe meeting them was in the temple. We had a nice dinner in the cafeteria together and they are wonderful. :)

[azazel420]

Internet is both a blessing and a curse. You gotta be real careful how you come across online because it's real easy to get the wrong impression via written word. On the other hand I've found some really fulfilling relationship via the internet.

One thing seems a bit strange to me though. How did she get your parents number? Seems an odd bit of info to give to someone online.

[ampat777]

Internet is both a blessing and a curse. You gotta be real careful how you come across online because it's real easy to get the wrong impression via written word.

I agree!!

And thanks for the post about being careful online. He is right. There are many strange people online and you can find them everywhere. Even on sites you wouldn´t think you´d find them like Christian oder LDS sites. This is sad but it´s the truth. So everyone be careful.

[Fiannan]

Yeah, you never know about the net. For all we know there are a couple of seriel killers active on this forum, a drug lord or two, a leader of a satanic coven and an agnostic Democrat. :D

[Guest Username-Removed]

Ohhh - Beware of the Agnostic Democrat - LOL - They can call my ex-wife if they want! LOL

[NeuroTypical]

Cool - can I be the satanic coven leader? I always wanted to be one of those...

One of the things i did, was sat down with my wife and wrote a formal email to this woman, explaining the situation. I advised her to seek medical help and also made it plain, that if she contacted myself or my family, that i would take legal action. She hasnt emailed since.

Excellent response. Exactly what the situation called for IMO. From what I can tell, this sort of nonsense withers and dies when brought into the sunlight where everyone can see it. Certainly having your wife fully involved and with access to everything is a good idea. Life is so much simpler when you keep your life an open book, and invite people to take a look to see what's there.

LM

[Lost_one]

Internet is both a blessing and a curse. You gotta be real careful how you come across online because it's real easy to get the wrong impression via written word. On the other hand I've found some really fulfilling relationship via the internet.

One thing seems a bit strange to me though. How did she get your parents number? Seems an odd bit of info to give to someone online.

We were living at my parents house for a short time and gave her the number so we could chat. As i said, i trusted this person.

[Fiannan]

Cool - can I be the satanic coven leader? I always wanted to be one of those...

Watch out, there's some strange people out there:

Prosecutor: Couple's crimes related to cult :: WRAL.com

At least she resigned her position with her political party.

I do know a guy who looks like Anton Lavey...like to tease him about it.