Is it too late?

[Liesl]

Thank you, I appreciate your honesty and your suggestion.... I helps to hear from a child's as well as a wife's point of view.

[RainofGold]

U]Originally Posted by ruthiechan View Post

Keep in mind that marriage is a two way street. If it's in this sort of bad way it just as much your fault as it is his.

I am going to disagree with this post. And say that every situation is different. How can you blame a wife when she is innocent and trusting and the husband takes advantage of that. When she gives her 100 percent for the marriage and he only gives less than half.

You can't blame a wife when a husband goes out the marriage looking for "love and affection"

When a wife is not getting romance from her husband does it make it okay for her to go out of the marriage as well?

I think that people just look for excuses for their bad choices and don't want to take responsibility for their own actions. These aren't kids, but grown men who are weak and selfish. They only think of themselves, and of the moment and not the consequences.

Edited August 7, 2008 by RainofGold

[ruthiechan]

RainofGold, I never assume that the other side is giving it their 100% all. Even if she were not it does not excuse poor behavior but knowing the reasoning behind it helps solve the problem. And yes, there are always exceptions to my statement, though I am incorrect anyway. Two way should be three way. God + Husband(God) + Wife(God) = Good Marriage. Take out any portion of the equation and you've got a problem.

Liesl, I felt inspired to give you another child's point of view. So here is my five year old daughter's point of view from events past. All things in quotes are Hazel's words. Things in [] are added for clarity. I must also add that she was wondering why I was asking her these things so I told her that someone was having similar marriage troubles and that it may help them to have a child's point of view on it. Then she was more willing to put things into words.

How did it feel when Daddy and I were having problems before we separated?

"You said I love you but no hugs, no love, no kissing, weren't showing you were loving."

How did make you that feel?

"Crying and being sad sad sad sad sad sad sad. Because it wasn't the right thing to do, not giving loves, not following the Son of God, and God doesn't like it."

How did it feel when we separated, when we stopped living together?

"Happy. Because you were going to try to fix it. Because it was the right thing to do so we can change it. I missed him [Daddy]."

How do you think it would have felt if Daddy and I never moved back in together?

With a big frowny face "Sadness."

How did it feel when you saw Daddy and I getting closer together, showing more love?

With a big smile "Happy."

How do you feel now that we're all living together again?

"Happy!"

Why did you want us to work it out and live together again?

"So we can see him forever, because we love him [Daddy]."

I noticed the we in all that so I asked her about it.

Did you think that part of why we separated was your fault?

She shakes her head no. (This means I did my job on that one.)

Did you think that you could help fix it?

"No." Pause. "Both of you would."

[ruthiechan]

Because I don't think I said it, you're in my prayers.

If I had your real name I'd put it in the temple too! Maybe someone else can do that instead though. *hugs*

[carter_kun]

Love is like a triangle. A couple starts in the middle of the bottom, then start to move further and further away going up the triangle. But just when they think there is no hope, they start to get closer, still moving up the triangle, all the way to the tip.

That is kind of hard to understand without the hand movements and stuff, but yeah. My parents have been married for 13 years. They are probably at the furthest part of the triangle right now, and they are constantly getting in fights over the stupidest things, like "You weren't paying attention to my signals of where the car was!" and "That is all you care about Scott! Soccer soccer soccer!" and other stuff. Usually the fights are on Sunday's which is really sad. So yeah. You and your husband have to try and survive the ends of the triangle so you can get to the tip, and be happy together. I hope that wasn't too confusing.