Talk to the animals

[richlittell]

I got it in my head somewhere that we'll be able to communicate with all living things in the Celestial kingdom. My thing is, exactly WHAT are we gonna' talk about? Anyone care to venture a guess?

scenario:

Spider to his once Homeowner.

"Hey Joe, You remember that time my uncle Fred slipped from the ceiling and accidentally ended up in your wife's soup."

"I sure do, and she made me flush him down the toilet."

"Right, which reminds of the time you chased my cousin Mary around with that nasty bug spray you have."

"That was your cousin? And when I finally got her, she just sorta' rolled over and twitched before her legs all curled up."

"Yeah, and you remember the time when you finally whacked me with that magazine?"

"Sure. You were pretty quick, but I finally gotcha."

"Yeah, I've never prayed so hard in my life--legs don't fail me now. Well, everything in God's due time."

Scenario:

Shark to a once one-legged man.

"Hey, remember that time a snuck up behind you and got a chunk of your surf-board?"

Scenario:

Dog to owner.

"And just why did you think speaking louder to me would mean I'd understand it any better." or "Your lucky that here your not my pet, or I'd take away your manhood."

or "YOU try holding it in for half a day!"

Scenario:

Shark to a once one-legged man (sneaking up behind him).

"Boo!"

Edited September 8, 2008 by richlittell

[georgia2]

I have thought about talking to my pets, but what you suggest is really thought provoking and funny!

[AngelonaWing]

ROFLOL I love it!!

[Wingnut]

I might ask the cockroaches why they had to make such creepy noises. And ask most bugs why they couldn't just stay outside.

I'd really let the carpenter ants have it. They invaded a bag of tootsie roll pops in our junk food drawer once, and I didn't know it (there was one pop that missed getting wrapped), and I stuck my hand right into the bag.

Oh, and I'd tell the giraffe that he was proof that God had a sense of humor.

[breeb]

scenario:

Spider to his once Homeowner.

"Hey Joe, You remember that time my uncle Fred slipped from the ceiling and accidentally ended up in your wife's soup."

"I sure do, and she made me flush him down the toilet."

"Right, which reminds of the time you chased my cousin Mary around with that nasty bug spray you have."

"That was your cousin? And when I finally got her, she just sorta' rolled over and twitched before her legs all curled up."

"Yeah, and you remember the time when you finally whacked me with that magazine?"

"Sure. You were pretty quick, but I finally gotcha."

"Yeah, I've never prayed so hard in my life--legs don't fail me now. Well, everything in God's due time."

Have you been watching Bee Movie? Bzzz Bzzzz Bzz Bzz.

[Moksha]

Moksha to the Gefilte Fish

Moksha - You know, I really feel bad eating you and all after seeing you here.

Gefilte Fish - So vhat you vant, a medal already?

Moksha - No, I just wanted to express my remorse.

Gefilte Fish - Look bubbe, you win some - you lose some.

Moksha - Thanks, that makes me feel much better.

Gefilte Fish - So vhat you think I didn't care? Schmuck! Get out of here already before I kick your Celestial tuches. You don't think I can do it already?

Moksha - Okay, I can take a hint when I am not wanted.

Gefilte Fish - Oy vhat a meshugener, vhere do they get these types? Hey Irving, I'm ready for my spritz now.

[richlittell]

Have you been watching Bee Movie? Bzzz Bzzzz Bzz Bzz.

Never saw Bee Movie.

I asked my wife what she'd say to the cockroaches, she said "Get the h*ll out of my kitchen."

My wife's a really funny gal, it's why I married her.

[Guest GhostRider]

Moksha! lol!!!! that is funny....actually...they all are!!!

I do talk to my pets...mom calls em her only granddaughters and they are sorta treated as such. they get toys from her every year and she says she misses them. It is funy sometimes how we treat animals isnt it...so here goes....My kids and me...

Powder: Hey...Dad...y didnt you change my box when I told you too?

Me: sorry kiddo...was busy

Shadow: Yeah Right Dad....like talking on the forums or chat at LDS.net?

ME: ok....im busted...but..i did change it!!!

The girls together: Duh!

Shadow: Only After I bit you a few times!

ME: sorry

Powder: And what was up with that Stupid food anyhow? um..a can of herring aint that expensive dad!

ME: I gave you tuna though..thought you liked it. Sorry

Shadow: wonder now why I would breath on you after u fed it to me to wake you up?

Me: sorry girls...still love me?

The girls: Yes we do ya big dope!

Me: thanks girls

SHadow: now pet me! (hey..she is a siamese)

powder: hold me! (Ragdoll)