What would you do

[YoungMormonRoyalist]

So here's the situation....my current girlfriend, a girl in the stake, and I only recently got together (which in itself was a very spiritual, prayer-involved, amazing experience). Now, about a year ago she had 'gone out' (well not really...but she did...and...yah it's complicated) with my best friend, also a member. They had broken up but they remained friends. A year later and it's obvious that he still really...really....really likes her, deny it as he might. I develop feelings for her and figure "hey, if you're not going to admit your attraction to her I feel no guilt about asking her out on a couple dates."

So things go on from there.

We start dating and the discussion moves to "How do we tell Ki about this." This is where things get interesting. I travel one day to see her (We live about an hour/hour and a half apart), and we're sitting there enjoying lunch. As were talking about the Ki situation guess who walks in to see us holding hands.......

My question, for entertainment purposes, what would you say/do? This is not a serious advice thread, I just want to see what you would all say.

In a little while I'll post what our actual response was.

[WANDERER]

Ask Ki to join you for lunch...and if he asks whether you're an item...thank him profusely for getting you together...and mention how the Lord work in mysterious ways.

LOL. Worth a try.

[rameumptom]

I'd say, "Hey, Ki, thanks for introducing us!" or "Hey, Ki, just wanted you to be the first to know we're engaged."

It isn't your problem that he didn't do anything about it. He won't be the first guy to feel bad about not winning the girl.

[YoungMormonRoyalist]

Well he didn't really introduce us. We all met at Youth Conference a few years back.

[Canuck Mormon]

Tell him "You snooze, you lose" I'm kidding of course.

Just be honest with him, if he's truly a friend of yours he'll be happy for you, and he'll be kicking himself for not acting on his feelings.

[StrawberryFields]

I know you said that this isn't a serious advise thread but if he is your best friend I would have thought that he knew of your plans on seeing her.

What would I do. Me being the female part I would have been very nice and said Hi Ki how ya doing?:)

There has to be more to this story.

[YoungMormonRoyalist]

Way the heck more.

Let's just say that this girl has had really bad luck with dating:

First boyfriend cheated on her.

Second boyfriend (Ki) kissed her at a hockey game (I live in Canada ) and then they never talked for three months after that, she heard that he was dating someone here in my town (Partly true), so she thought it was over.

Third boyfriend was a bit better, but the relationship ended when they decided they weren't right for each other.

So anyways, she and I had always been really really good friends (We later admitted that there were some more feelings there), and dated people on the side. Last Stake Conference though we got assigned nursery duty together by the YM president...that's a story inistelf...and then she and I, and a bunch of Youth ended up watching a movie. While there you could just feel this sort of....I dunno, energy? It was physical, sexual (No, we haven't done anything outside of church standards, but I think it's mature enough to admit that part, a huge part actually, is due to sexual attraction), spiritual, emotional at the same time...even when I started falling asleep and she hit me over the head with a pillow cus I had to drive home that night.

Now...this is where it gets complicated. My friend Ki is easily the best in his family, one brother commited suicide, one's a father at 19, one does everything under the sun, and only his sister has recently come back to the church. He's faithful, but still has some problems with sitting on the fence. He wants and does obey the commandments of God, but he still wants to maintain a 'cool, partying' reputation. And part of the reason he moved to where he is now is to be closer to Jill (my girlfriend), because he wants to 'marry her, and settle down', regardless of how much we prod him to go on a mission. Jill's exaspperated because she doesn't have any interest to her.

So....one night Jill and I are talking on the phone, we talk a lot. After a while she tells me she has to go, because she has a really bad stomach ache. The entire night I had thought about it and decided to tell her that I was interested in her, but I decided to let it go. After we hung up, I sat there for a while, and then decided to ask for some help from our Heavenly Father. I got down on my knees and I prayed I didn't ask him whether or not she like me back, whether or not Ki would be angry, but simply "Should I tell her and get it out in the open, regardless of her reaction?" I got one of the most peaceful, calm, burning feelings inside, to such an extent that I had only felt it stronger three times more in my life. I then prayed that Jill would feel better.

I phoned her back and the first thing she says is, "Eww...I just barfed in the toilet...but hey I'm feeling way the heck better now." (At this point I just started laughing and said "Wow he answers fast") I then proceeded to tell her that I thought she was talented, beautiful, kind, loving, caring and that the gist of it all was that I liked her. There was a bit of an awkward pause, and she finally said, "Wow....ummm....it's good that you went first....cus....umm...ditto?"

Things went from there and then the subway, lunch thing happened.

[StrawberryFields]

Okay so now I am on the edge of my seat... what happened at lunch?:)

[Tough Grits]

...As were talking about the Ki situation guess who walks in to see us holding hands.......

My question, for entertainment purposes, what would you say/do? This is not a serious advice thread, I just want to see what you would all say.

Personally, I would have just smiled and said hello (no need to feel/act guilty as neither of you were doing anything wrong or against him) and just wait for his response.

~TG

[StallionMcBeastly]

Dude, by telling her that you think all those pretty adjectives about her, you gave her your manhood!!

haha I kid. But there is some truth to that.

Anyways, I'm glad you guys are going on a cute little date.

Hope things work out well!

[YoungMormonRoyalist]

See the funny thing is...when we were planning lunch on the phone I had this feeling in the back of my mind that kept saying, "No matter where you go....Ki's gonna show up."

[YoungMormonRoyalist]

Okay so here's the reaction:

Her: She put her head down on the table, blushing, and just said, "Wow....."

Me: "Oh hey Ki, uhhhhh.......wanna hang out in an hour or so?"

[richlittell]

and ........?

[YoungMormonRoyalist]

Well let's just put it this way, he said nothing, his eyes were as wide as frizbees and he simply walked out...

[YoungMormonRoyalist]

We're kind of giving each other space right now, but it will be alright.

So he kind of said somethings to Jill that weren't the kindest. After she got out of school (She's still in Grade 12, she's about 8 months younger than me) she and I went to this beautiful park in the middle of no where. We just walked around, enjoyed the summer heat and talked about anything and everything. Eventually we got to this beautiful lake in the park (You have to understand that I live in the Rockies of British Columbia, and it's honestly one of the most beautiful places on earth), which had a dock leading out into it.

She only had a sandals on so I carried her over a big puddle of rock (Me big strong football playing hunk) and we went out onto the dock. We just began to talk about ourselves and our lives, and finally she started to cry, and admitted to me that her testimony had been shaken, not broken, in the past year and that I was "too good for her". I sat there for a moment, looking out onto the lake, and finally got up. Walking up to her I put my arms around her, and said, "Jill, you come from a royal line and divine parenthood. Nothing is 'too good' for one of God's daughters, and you have more potential and more divine possibilities than you or I can even comprehend". She looked up at me, and leaned in as I did too.....and then we stopped.

"Not yet..." we agreed.

Thomas S. Monson councilled us to save our kisses....and I'm glad we did.

BUT COME ON!!!!

Anyways, did I do the right thing?

Edited September 23, 2008 by Gwen

[rameumptom]

Sounds like you did what's right.

Broken hearts heal and can be a growing experience. (or so I'm told. of course it has NeVeR happened to me. right?)