worried about myself in the church

[daenvgiell]

as most of you may be aware I have been struggling with beliefs for the church lately... still I am struggling. These past few weeks I haven't been reading my scriptures, but I've still been praying... if that's what you call it, the thing that worries me is that I haven't missed it, I dont' know what to do anymore, I don't know why I still bother with church I try and get that testimony I thought I had, which is seeming like it never was, but I don't want to disappoint my parents, and to make matters worse a lot of things have happened this past week as well, although I have no idea if that's linked to me not reading the scriptures or what. I'm about ready to give up.

[Kirajo]

The part you need to focus on is that you once had a strong testimony. So you know it is possible and real and something you can feel passionate about again.

Here's a story; (that may or may not be butchered...heehee)

A man found a giant rock on his doorstep and God instructed him to push the rock. The man pushed and pushed and pushed. He spent years struggling but never gave up trying to push the rock. Finally one day he said,

" God, I cannot move the rock. I've failed." and God replied " I never asked you to move the rock. I only asked you to push it."

The man realized that from all his pushing and efforts, he was now a strong, built man. As long as you are striving to be your absolute best, you are doing God's will and will become stronger.

[daenvgiell]

having said that though... I still don't want to struggle with if for the rest of my life.

[siouxz72]

Hey chica! Probably the best advise I can give, having been there, done that is to just continue your focus on the Lord. I know you said you haven't read your scriptures in a while, but maybe you could pick those back up again. I had a reading plan in place where I would read just two chapters a day and then within those chapters I would pick one or two scriptures that really stuck out for me. And that way I was focused on what I was reading because I was looking for something that might strike me as like...oooh! I need to highlight this! And then I would write in the margin *why* I highlighted it. This little scripture reading method has helped me through many a boring chapter! :) And keep praying. Keeping that communication open with your Heavenly Father will help you in so many ways!! You won't even realize how much it's helping until you look back in a few years.

Okay, was this long enough for you?! Good luck, sweetie!

[jadams_4040]

having said that though... I still don't want to struggle with if for the rest of my life.

You are going to make it.:)

[Palerider]

as most of you may be aware I have been struggling with beliefs for the church lately... still I am struggling. These past few weeks I haven't been reading my scriptures, but I've still been praying... if that's what you call it, the thing that worries me is that I haven't missed it, I dont' know what to do anymore, I don't know why I still bother with church I try and get that testimony I thought I had, which is seeming like it never was, but I don't want to disappoint my parents, and to make matters worse a lot of things have happened this past week as well, although I have no idea if that's linked to me not reading the scriptures or what. I'm about ready to give up.

why don't you ask someone for a blessing.......you can get a blessing of comfort and council.....I think this would help you alot.:)

[ztodd]

Don't let yourself get too discouraged- when you're feeling down, pray to Father- pour out your heart to Him. He always listens. He always loves you. Don't listen to the voice that gives you reasons not to pray.

[Islander]

as most of you may be aware I have been struggling with beliefs for the church lately... still I am struggling. These past few weeks I haven't been reading my scriptures, but I've still been praying... if that's what you call it, the thing that worries me is that I haven't missed it, I dont' know what to do anymore, I don't know why I still bother with church I try and get that testimony I thought I had, which is seeming like it never was, but I don't want to disappoint my parents, and to make matters worse a lot of things have happened this past week as well, although I have no idea if that's linked to me not reading the scriptures or what. I'm about ready to give up.

I would like to offer the following:

"But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do evil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil; for after this manner doth the devil work, for he persuadeth no man to do good, no, not one; neither do his angels; neither do they who subject themselves unto him. " Mor 7:17

We battle with a powerful but invisible, subtle but persistent enemy. It is war and it is waged inside our minds. The enemy whispers to us blame, discouragement, shame, lies and confusion. It can ONLY be counteracted with prayer and supplication. You must rely on your faith and pray and read your scriptures even when you do not feel like it. You must go and do service, attend your meetings even when tired or apathetic. You must convince yourself that even if you do not feel the Spirit, God will NEVER abandon you. But you must be strong enough to stay on the path and not walk away from Him. Seek the counsel of your priesthood leader. A blessing may also be in order, as suggested.

You are quite young and flareups of depression or even hormonal changes can trigger severe mood swings that can interfere with normal functioning. You should consult your family doctor as well.

Stay strong. It will pass, you will manage the situation. My prayers are with you.

[Dale]

I have learned to accept my doubts and questions. I would struggle if i had to be a member of a church based on my perfect acceptance of everything. Some things about beliefs i like and some things i wonder if true. Certainly i try and remain open to the things i struggle with might be true. I do only explore the best available answers, but live with my doubting.

To me no religion i have studied has a history, doctrine, or practice that everybody winds up with an unruffled testimony over. You can and will find areas of imperfection or atleast things you dislike in anybodys history, doctrine, or practice. Hopefully atleast you might find you like much of you history, doctrine and practice more than you do others.

Prayer and scripture study will not remove the blessing of struggling as i have come to view it. The struggle helps me to choose faith over unbelief. I could chose the opposite of faith based on temptation over things i pick up via my reading. But i find my faith grows stronger when i decide to rule over my doubts, questions, emotions instead of letting them send me in the wrong direction.

I have no perfect solutions for you but i do know of two good book resources. For Those who Wonder by LDS writer Jeff Burton is online to read if you want to do an online search for it. If I Really Believe Why do i Have These Doubts by Lynn Anderson is also good. I got both books via Amazon. The false utopian idea for some is to be like those who do not struggle, but the reality is many millions of believers do struggle. Many millions of such persons are good church goers who have a good church life anyway.

[Elgama]

My testimony spent 5 years really struggling - it turned out for me I had a lot of anger (I didn't think I was angry), and I needed to forgive people I thought I had forgiven. And that gave me a huge block - I am not saying its the same for you but there is clearly a block there have you prayed to know what that block is? I still haven't got back into personal study or prayer very well I was literally clinging on by my fingernails to stay active. Right now I am pleased that I am managing church and my testimony is back and we are doing FHE, family prayer, family scripture study

I hope it doesn't take you so long - I agree about the blessing and get as many as you need, at one point I was having one on Saturday Night, and Sunday Morning to get me to church and one Sunday Afternoon to help me get over the empty feeling. And somedays when prayer was not happening I also asked for blessings just for that connection

-Charley

Edited November 8, 2008 by Elgama

[jolee65]

having said that though... I still don't want to struggle with if for the rest of my life.

We all get tested and thats what makes us stronger, continue praying maybe fasting Heavenly Father might be asking you to work alittle harder for him, we all have to prove ourselves to Him to some degree He proves himself to you doesnt he. when we're faced with opition work hard to continue to push forward.

Edited November 9, 2008 by jolee65