Importance of Families

[Guest whoa_guy_]

I'm new to these forums & not LDS. I'm interested hearing some of your opinions, (I've heard what many say on non LDS site and thought I should hear both sides).

What's ultimately more important to you, the church or family? Hypothetical example; suppose your closest family member (ie Spouse, parents, etc.) decided that they no longer had faith in the church and in fact were now against it’s teachings. They express that they feel so strongly about their new point of view that if you continue to believe and practice LDS religion it will severely injure your relationship. What do you do?

I realize this is a pretty obscure scenario, I’m just interested in your thoughts. Thanks for your input.

[abqfriend]

Hi-I happen to be Catholic-so I cannot answer from an LDS viewpoint.

But-who owns the problem? Me? or my family member?

In the case you give-it is their problem-not mine.

I would never leave my faith tradition-as that is the most important thing for me.

It represents my literal present and eternal destiny.

If a family member wishes to disown me-that is their problem.

I converted to the Catholic faith from Lutheran-and some family members were not happy with that-but they own the problem.

My response can be one of love for them-but I would not change my faith or disown my faith for anyone-including a close family member.

-Carol

I'm new to these forums & not LDS. I'm interested hearing some of your opinions, (I've heard what many say on non LDS site and thought I should hear both sides).

What's ultimately more important to you, the church or family? Hypothetical example; suppose your closest family member (ie Spouse, parents, etc.) decided that they no longer had faith in the church and in fact were now against it’s teachings. They express that they feel so strongly about their new point of view that if you continue to believe and practice LDS religion it will severely injure your relationship. What do you do?

I realize this is a pretty obscure scenario, I’m just interested in your thoughts. Thanks for your input.

[Gwen]

i can't imagine anyone (well one person but other than them) being so immature that they would sacrifice a loved one over the church.... for the record i do have many family members that do not go to church anymore and some of their lifestyles are very much contrary to how i live but we still get together and have a great time and love and respect each other for who we are....

i guess what i'm saying is i can't really answer your question i can't conceive of that happening in my family....

my best efforts to imagine such a senario ... i can't sacrifice who i am to please them.. the doctrines and the gospel are part of who i am, part of that is being associated with the lds church. if the relationship ended it would be their decision and on their terms, i would not end the relationship over it. it would make me very very sad if they made that decision.

[terryk]

I have seen several instances where 1 person in the marriage would turn their back on the church, but where therye was stil lsome spark, they would not prevent the spouse from going as well, love requires mutual respect for one another. the only times I have known people who have decided to end the marriage if the spouse would not stop going to church, and being apart of the church, was when htye had already decided to end the marriage, for other reasons, and would use the church as the grounds as just an excuse to cover the real reason. so I do not believe that the 2 choices owuld ever be in truth be put up, ie either the church or me, scenario, I have seen bishops who have lightened the amount of time a person is spending at church, and in church callings, etc to help keep a marriage together, the church treaches that the family is the basic unit of the gospel. so I do not believe that this would ever be the case of it being either the church or me.

[Wingnut]

There is a woman in my ward who I met on a few occasions when I moved here last year. I don't know her well, and I don't know all the circumstances. However, a little over a year ago, her husband decided he didn't believe in the Church anymore (they are converts of about six years, and have been sealed in the temple, along with their two children), and wasn't going to go any longer. The wife continued to come to Church for a month by with the kids, and then off an on for another month or so. I haven't seen her at Church (or even a Church activity) in almost a year. I saw her about six months ago at a girl's night at a mutual friends' house, and after talking with that mutual friend (who is close to her) learned that the wife stopped coming because her husband wouldn't let her anymore.

I don't have a point other than to say that it does happen, unfortunately.

[bytor2112]

I'm new to these forums & not LDS. I'm interested hearing some of your opinions, (I've heard what many say on non LDS site and thought I should hear both sides).

What's ultimately more important to you, the church or family? Hypothetical example; suppose your closest family member (ie Spouse, parents, etc.) decided that they no longer had faith in the church and in fact were now against it’s teachings. They express that they feel so strongly about their new point of view that if you continue to believe and practice LDS religion it will severely injure your relationship. What do you do?

I realize this is a pretty obscure scenario, I’m just interested in your thoughts. Thanks for your input.

Continue in faith. Pray and have faith that God will soften there heart. We will all be judged by what was in our hearts as well as our actions. It is very painful when family members stray.....but there is always hope. Short answer..... I would not stop practicing my faith regardless........

[FunkyTown]

I'm new to these forums & not LDS. I'm interested hearing some of your opinions, (I've heard what many say on non LDS site and thought I should hear both sides).

What's ultimately more important to you, the church or family? Hypothetical example; suppose your closest family member (ie Spouse, parents, etc.) decided that they no longer had faith in the church and in fact were now against it’s teachings. They express that they feel so strongly about their new point of view that if you continue to believe and practice LDS religion it will severely injure your relationship. What do you do?

I realize this is a pretty obscure scenario, I’m just interested in your thoughts. Thanks for your input.

As a convert, I've had my share of this. My family was deadset against it. The thing is... If something is true, you can no more say you don't believe it than you can turn away from eating because someone says that it would hurt your relationship.

If I had to choose between God and Man? It would hurt, but I'd choose God. I've done it before.

[bytor2112]

A response to the Thread title regarding importance of the family:

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

[Nappaljarri]

Yes I think it happens more often then you may have thought Whoa-guy. My answer is,no I wouldn't give up my faith or stop going to church or doing those things which I believe were right in the eyes of God.

Our church teaches that the family unit can only be eternal (continue after death) if we obey his (God's) law... and the whole purpose of his law is to create eternal families. So the issue is a very delicate one in our church. We believe that the church and the priesthood authority is set up to create and support eternal families. Everything that happens in our churches and temples is to support and help and direct families to live the law of God so that as families they can return to God. We are taught to do all in our power to love all of our families (whether members or not) and to encourage and share our religion with our families by our good and loving examples.

Some points.... I see too often then not....

a) spouses who mix up church and family and put doing things at church above living the "gospel" in their homes. This is most destructive when the other spouse is not a member of the church and sees that the church and church life is of more importance than their family relationship. That could cause the spouse to "not allow" them to go to church anymore because their invovlement in the church is having a negative affect on their repsonsiblities as a parent and spouse first. In this way, the spouse who is a non-member is actually more correct in their point of view. Also church leadership encourages local leaders to not put heavy burdens on part member family members with regard to the assignments or callings they may be given, because the stability of their family units is of more importance than responsibilities given at church. There is always someone else who can do jobs at church, but there is never anyone who can do the job of spouse/parent as well as themselves. This point of view does not detract from the fact that there are controlling spouses who will keep their spouses away from church no matter how well they fulfil their responsibilities at home, although the former in my personal observation has always been the norm.

b) As I have probebly shared my opinion in other threads.... I would never had considered choosing a non-member spouse, or a spouse that has had a dodgey background. Marriage is a very critical decision in ones life, and leaving the future to chance (that they will repent, or join the church) is a very niave decision to make.

Now on a lighter note... here is a different situation....

Your husband finds out that he can take 4 days off next month over the weekend, and he wants to take the family on a short trip away. You realise that it is the week that you are teaching Home enrichment and then RS lesson on the Sunday. What do you do?

LOL, I know people in my life that would actually stay at home because they think the Lord will bless them for their service. And I actually know people who don't ever take holidays because they think their calling is so important. This is false foundations of faith. As for me, I will choose the getaway everytime. Why.... how often does husband's get time off work? And if you reject your husband in wanting to bless his family and spend time with them, what kind of message are you giving him about the importance of his involvement in the family unit, and thirdly and most importantly... latter-day revelation has given us the key to happy family life.. and one of those is wholesome recreation (see "The Family", a proclamation to the World).

To paraphrase an apostle's words:

2003/04 (can't remember) World Wide leadership training: (Elder Ballard or Perry I think)

"What doeth it profiteth a man if he sacrificeth all that he has for the church and looses his family." (note "church" not "gospel or God's law").

I am very passionate about family/church balance as I was the child in a family where church (and the family's image at church) was of more importance than actually living the gospel in the home. If one puts the church and it's activities and processes first before the family with the belief that their family will be blessed for it, they are putting themselves on shaky ground, and will wonder in years to come why their children did not hold fast to the rod.

note: there is a balance... and service should be rendered in all it's arrays at church after the family and it's basic needs are met (loving parents, love in the home, gospel taught in the home, food, shelter, clothing basics). My opinion of couse does not cater in the least for an attitude that says..... my family come first, so I will take my children to soceer practice instead of spending that time doing the compassionate service assignment I have been given (while in the meantime teaching my children about loving service we can give to others).

There has also been world wide training more recently (maybe this year or last year) about how there are so many "good" things and "causes" that we as members, parents can be involved in. But that we can get distracted by these good causes and forget the essential causes that we have been placed on earth to do. It was also even taught that local units need to scale down their activities so as to not encroach on family time that is so needed in this busy world.

Those are just some thoughts... Hope it has given food for thought.

Edited November 18, 2008 by Nappaljarri

[Hemidakota]

I'm new to these forums & not LDS. I'm interested hearing some of your opinions, (I've heard what many say on non LDS site and thought I should hear both sides).

What's ultimately more important to you, the church or family? Hypothetical example; suppose your closest family member (ie Spouse, parents, etc.) decided that they no longer had faith in the church and in fact were now against it’s teachings. They express that they feel so strongly about their new point of view that if you continue to believe and practice LDS religion it will severely injure your relationship. What do you do?

I realize this is a pretty obscure scenario, I’m just interested in your thoughts. Thanks for your input.

Most of the world really don't understand the connection between GOD and FAMILY. They are connected and not a separate issue. Being LDS, you would understand this principle.

When I die in this mortal probation, my wife and I are eternal partners and will share the same eternal rewards together, to include our children, with our Eternal FATHER [Parents] and our elder brother - Jesus the Christ.