Marriage

[ruthiechan]

Oh, it makes perfect sense, to me at least. But that might be because I can relate.

PM me if you want. :)

[Guest kulds]

sry

Edited March 8, 2009 by kulds
nvm

[aspenmgy]

Ivy-

First off I am sorry for what you experienced growing up. Disgusting when a person violates another's agency.

A few comments. My brother and his fiance fooled around. They waited a year and were married in the temple. As far as I know they are not active in the church.

A friend of mine was having sex with his girlfriend for many years. They were married civilly and sealed one year later. They attend church as far as I know.

A family in my ward had an interesting story. He wasn't a member, she was. She married him and he ended up converting a year later. They have since been sealed and are some of my favorite people.

Each story is different as is the outcome. No one can tell you how your story will turn out. I have been told by several bishops that many people who say "we will be sealed one year later" never do it.

[Guest SisterofJared]

I don't think the question is if the in-laws could attend the temple or not. I have had temple marriages in my family when the inlaws could not attend. At a reception you can always do a unity ceremony and a ring ceremony. It's a great time for the bishop or whomever to explain temple marriages to non-members and do a little missionary work!

The real question is.... having been sexually intimate already, are you totally and thoroughly convinced that you can abstain for a year while you prepare for the temple? If not, you need to get married now. Reversing the level of intimacy is difficult, and it is better to have the sanctity of marriage and work together to obtain the blessings of the temple than to find yourself repeating the sin.

I think the issue of making it to the temple, either before or after marriage, is dependent upon your willingness to work closely with your bishop. Humility and genuine repentence is called for, and hiding the facts from your parents will only serve your pride, and slow down the process.

Sister of Jared

PS I have two daughters who marriied civilly and then married in the temple. In both cases they married new members, so the case is a little different. But my niece and nephew married after she got pregnant.... and today they are sealed in the temple. I think this is a decision you make after prayer and counseling.

[MichaelPAGuy]

Is it possible for people to be sealed to their in-laws?

[john doe]

Is it possible for people to be sealed to their in-laws?

This is the way I see it. I don't know if it is official or not: Technically, by being sealed someone who is sealed to their parents, you are bound to their family through the sealing to your spouse. This is how we become one eternal family.

[aspenmgy]

This is the way I see it. I don't know if it is official or not: Technically, by being sealed someone who is sealed to their parents, you are bound to their family through the sealing to your spouse. This is how we become one eternal family.

Bingo. Which can either be a good thing....or a nightmare

[Ivy64]

Update

So I went to see my parents who were in town at my bro-in-laws and sisters house. My sister in law is one of those members who is like, in my mind, near perfect. She's so righteous and bright I feel like she is an angel, and not only that but she is not judgmental or blind she really is favored of God...

Anyway she was a way of getting me to talk. I am closed to her then my real sisters (we are many years apart so I grew up when they were out of the house) so shes easy to talk to and always wants an update of my life.

This time however I had no intention giving her an update. Then, when we were alone and she was asking me questions, I ended up telling her... I guess I felt like I was sick of it and wanting to get it out or something.

She told me I shouldn't wait and should go talk to the bishop asap before it tears me apart etc....I want to in a way but I dont. I am scared, and not for telling my bishop what I've done. I am fine with that. But about what will happen..I dont know probably its just satan but I was really mad I told her..

However it put things into perspective for me so I am wondering if maybe that was suppose to happen? lol

Anyway I am a little scared right now and lost. I am wondering if I put up a front before, making myself feel so strong or if I really am OK and the past abuse issues make me just a TAD more innocent ( i know how that must sound...) but I still dont feel like repenting. That scares me. What the heck is wrong with me I was never like this! Yet I am still happy!

[tanuvasamama]

IBeing honest here, marriage is not an option for you here since I can attest, having a civil marriage now, you are likely will not be sealed later for one reason or another.

'

Hemi, I agree with you in most posts, but this one, i just have to disagree.

I know of many couples who have had a civil marriage and then have been sealed a year later. Such is the case with my husband and me. We were not struggling in any other area, except for chastity. Once we were married, it was no longer a sin and we were able to spend the next year focusing on our temple sealing.

I agree, it's not the ideal situation, but it has worked for MANY couples.

As far as breaking it to your parents...i don't know your parents, so I don't know how they will handle it. It's never anything that LDS parent's want to hear that their kids are doing. They would much rather you have a temple marriage and still be a virgin...you'll just have to accept that in some way, you are disappointing them. But, atleast you have found the one you want to be with forever. Hopefully they like him, because they won't be too pleased with him. I don't have any stellar advice to give at the moment, but feel free to PM me.

It will all be ok. I agree that you do need to confess to your bishop, which I'm sure you know by now.

[Ivy64]

Thank you :)

Actually ALL the people I know who have heen civally married first actually did go to the temple later...

Think about this I also know many people who have gotten married inthe temple the man is a returned missionary and one of them still ends up having an affair .... so hmmm...really? Its about the marriage. But the temple is soemthing I DO want.

I want to repent. I think I needa see a counselor about my past abuse issues though. Thanks for the input :)