Difficult situation

[jtate]

My world just fell apart at 9:00 last night. I found out that my husband of almost 4 years posted an ad on craigslist for sex. I was out of town last week visiting my family with our 2 year old daughter. He sent and received explicit emails from women. He didn't have anyone come over but i feel as if I have been betrayed. If you knew my husband this would be the farthest action from your mind that he would do. He is so meek and kind and in general thoughtful and loving. I am 7 months pregnant. I now feel a range of emotions from anger to feeling insecure and as if I wasn't enough. I love my husband and I know he loves me. Its a long story about what brought him to post on craigslist and I won't rehash it but I do believe him. There is never an excuse for this but i know satan wants to destroy the family and what starts out as looking on craigslist for baby things for our son can make any man who is alone fall victim to curiosity as to what is under erotic services. We are going to contact our bishop and go through counseling. I don't know how I am going to make it through today or tomorrow. i guess I am looking maybe for advice or maybe just a place where I can vocalize my pain and heartache without invovling personal friends or family members which I don't feel like is a good idea. I feel like our marriage as I have know it for the past 4 years has died. Even if we are able to work through this it pains me to know that I will never have this innocence back that we once had. Im so devistated.

[NeuroTypical]

Yeah, losing innocense stinks, and forgiveness is important, but you've got a new child to protect. Deal with him from a position of strength.

If he's as meek as you say, part of the consequence he will accept, is that you start a legal paper trail. Contact a lawyer, give the lawyer all the evidence you have (craigslist ad, email conversations, etc). Get your husband to fork over a signed confession if he'll do it. Make it quite clear that he has only one chance to repair this damage, and if he ever screws up again, you will do everything within your power to make sure that your child is provided for financially, and protected from the influence of an adulturous father.

If he goes the next 50 years never screwing up like this again, then good for everybody. If this instance is just the tip of the iceberg, then you've got the paper trail started and are in a much better position to get child support (assuming he can provide it), and favorable visitation (if he wants it).

This isn't a pornography problem, or an innapropriate office fling. He went out and advertised for anonymous sex. Basically asking to bring home an STD.

Deal with him from a position of strength. Tell him, in front of your bishop, that this is where you are, and where you will go.

Then let him make the next move.

[chiccam]

First of all big hugs!! I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this while pregnant. I agree that Satan is very clever at tearing apart the family from any angle he can. I tend to disagree with the previous poster about it not being a porn problem. Does he have a history with porn? My Dh had a history with viewing porn and when I was out of town he took it to the next level after years of just viewing. I was devastated; I was on a spiritual high, just attended my sister’s temple marriage and came home to the worst feeling ever.

Take care of you. If you do both love each other deeply obviously you should tackle all avenues while he’s willing. Go to counseling together and I’d recommend for him separately. I like the idea of a contract like Loudmouth mentioned. Wish I would have done that….Hang in there.

[glow_inthe_dark_girl]

sorry to hear this. go to counseling, ask your husband if he wants to be with you if he is really rpented of what he did, be patient , God won't leave you alone even if you feel like you are.