chiccam

Well he would argue that pot isn't a drug, that's the one the I know about. So many different opinions... I want him to enter an in-patient recovery program. That is what I'm praying for, that he will recognize his need for help. He does drink alot in the evenings and when he really drinks he stays at a family's members house over night.

I'd like to thank everyone for their honest advice and opinions. I have to admit I was a bit worried when the advice was to stay with a serial killer. I'm sure that God has a better plan for you and it makes me think of one of my favorite conference talks by David S. Baxter where he advises single parents; "Bless you for avoiding the type of companionship that would come at the expense of virtue and discipleship. That would be far too high a price to pay" MTE-I agree that this is a horrible storm. I just see that my husband is choosing a different path, one that doesn't involve family. When he chooses to ignore me most of the time he ignores the kids as well. Its very confusing and heartbreaking. Brow-I will not go through the reasons why I don't trust my husband, but the reason I told him he can't be trusted to drive the kids is because my son told me he had the most scary experience in his life and won't get in the car with him. He drove him home from a baseball game, going 90mph on the freeway and was texting. My son took his phone away from him and begged him to slow down. When I tried to talk to my husband about this he didn't even remember the car ride home. I beleive it's more his consumption use and drug use then not loving the church. So sorry I wasn't clear about that. I am very saddened he lost his faith but more so because he doesn't have christ to help him. I have been there and know what it feels like to lose the Holy Ghosts help. Thanks again for all the input!

Thanks for sharing your story of faith and strength. God no doubt has great things in store for you. I love your open-mindedness. That guy is missing out on something wonderful!

I believe your dream touches on what you and others pointed out. There are sinners at church, surprise! We all sin in different ways, some more openly than others. Secondly, alot of judement in your dream. The idea that alcohol would ever be allowed again gave me goose bumps. Were they smoking tabacco or pot?

How do you know when to get out? Honestly it seems I will do anything to keep my marriage from failing but I'm not convinced it's the right way anymore. After much prayer I am recieving guidance from Heavenly Father but he only helps me with my next move. I'm sure you know what I mean by that. I believe my husband is really torn. He's doubting the church and getting quite bitter. His behavior is that of a single guy most of the time contributed to his alchohol intake. I never thought I would stay with someone who doubted eternal marriage, cheating is something I can work through but what is wrong with me? As soon as I find out something new I truly feel like I can just forgive him and move on, problem is he can't move on. He thought for sure I would ask him to leave but I haven't? I am counseling with a trusted church leader on recognizing codependency, vs. compassion. Honestly I'm not sure I want to start over with someone else, but I love having a companion and wouldn't be able to not get married again. My husband told me he would never re-marry and always take care of me. That to me seems like he wants ties and control. That would be very hard for me if we werent' together. I'm so confused and lost. I'm trusting in God but I haven't talked with family or friends because if we do work it out, I don't want them to be judgemental. Then in the back of my mind I think we've come this far working hard and can continue. He sees it as we've come this far and always had to work hard and it's still hard to keep it together. He's sleeping in the guest room and currently I'm the bad guy for telling him he can't be trusted to drive the kids around, or be here with guests when I'm not here, I also asked him to stop talking to a friend thats a huge horrible ball of bad influence which he hasn't. Any advice? Keep in mind I'm quite tolerate being a recoverying alcoholic and seeing the light and turning out awesome. I want him to find his own awesomeness.

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That's ok Pam...I can laugh now too.

This really saddens me because I see you really trying to make an effort to serve others and for the right reasons. I personally hate complaining about anything in the church because I feel like I then should do something to help my complaint, which is what you’re doing by teaching English. I understand your frustrations and honestly I think you moved into a heavily burdened ward. There aren’t enough members on the up side to even out the needs of others. I was in a ward like that and it stayed that way for a long time. Finally the boundaries changed and there are more people to lessen the load of others. I think they see you on the up and therefore they are trying to get your help. I know you will get blessed for this. Follow the advice of your Bishop and make a dedicated effort for a temple trip fund. Seriously if you have to start with quarters just do that. I’m not kidding. You will be blessed and I really believe your goal with going to the Seattle (woohoo that’s where I’m at) temple will be met.

This thread is super great. Maybe it’s just late and I’m bored but it is interesting. Ploomf-I’m so happy to hear that you have a moth phobia. I thought I was the only one. Mine is of course deep rooted from childhood. On the way home from swimming my sisters (fully knowing my fear of moth’s) caught a moth and put it in my swimsuit. It was fluttering and squishing tight against my skin. I freaked. I think the driver had to pull over. I finally got it out. Poor little thing was missing a wing and I had powder all of me. What the crap is up with the powder anyways. I have to say usually I have someone else kill or remove the spiders from my path; yesterday I killed my own spider (it was a jumper). Another first on my list since my husband isn’t home.

Lost-I believe you need to act upon this feeling to see your Bishop. I pray that you feel the spirit and find the faith that you’ve lost. When you regain faith you will change your path. This path you are now on will only lead to heartache. I also pray that your Bishop will be compassionate and tell you what will help you most. Heavenly Father is not going to let you go without a fight. Satan will only keep trying until he has you, then he'll move on to the next leaving you lifeless.

Good topic as I'm faced with changing the direction my life is going and finding the task very difficult. I wish it would be easier. I pray that it gets easier. I like what Justice mentioned about the change in heart or conversion. I find that makes it easier to cope (you're not alone). Of course having faith that you're doing the right thing makes the burden ever so slightly lighter.

You've got something there Ogre. Vanity was the demise of Dorian Gray. I disagree that it's a gender specific trait.

Accomplishments, reaching the goals I try to attain. Good experiences with family, raising my children the right way (learning from my parents mistakes), having a good relationship with God. Being someone others want to be around.

Welcome Freckles.

Welcome! Don't be a stranger.

First the fact that you haven’t told them shows me how much you respect them and their views, even if you yourself don’t accept those views. It’s hard to come clean. I think it’s important though but easier said than done as I myself hide many things from my family and friends (but that’s changing). I think the best way is to just stop hiding it. My little sis feels similar as you and has decided not to hide the coffee maker or wine when family visits. She’s an adult and is free to choose. I found this very commendable as one who never wanted to disappoint so I hide things. The biggest thing is to show your family love. They will accept you regardless (of course with hopeful hearts that you will return).

Welcome to the site! I'm going to check out your blog.

Welcome!

Welcome back. Your open honesty is refreshing. Congrats on the marriage.

First of all big hugs!! I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this while pregnant. I agree that Satan is very clever at tearing apart the family from any angle he can. I tend to disagree with the previous poster about it not being a porn problem. Does he have a history with porn? My Dh had a history with viewing porn and when I was out of town he took it to the next level after years of just viewing. I was devastated; I was on a spiritual high, just attended my sister’s temple marriage and came home to the worst feeling ever. Take care of you. If you do both love each other deeply obviously you should tackle all avenues while he’s willing. Go to counseling together and I’d recommend for him separately. I like the idea of a contract like Loudmouth mentioned. Wish I would have done that….Hang in there.

True that! At work everyone was talking about this issue. Wow...real important. Although I try to stay up with current events, even a little TMZ here and there. Right now it just all seems so pointless. I'm a MSN gal. I pick my headlines and ignore the rest. Edited to add live.com is a great one if you like photos and info type stuff.

What do you play on 360? I mainly play COD4 (prefer that over 5). I got pretty big into Halo for awhile. I love, love Gears of War but usually play that with family on the weekends.

Thanks everyone for the warm wishes...I finally updated my page a little bit if you care to look.