How I feel

[Rico]

I am debating whether I should post this or not. I know many people are going through the same thing and maybe someone can benefit from hearing that they are not alone.

First off, I know the Church is true, maybe some of the members and leaders aren't but the Church is true.

I am having a very difficult time right now, actually it's been ongoing for many months. It's hard for me to talk about this.

As I mentioned in other posts, my wife, two kids and I moved out of the Philippines to a new place in the first week of March. We had been members for just under a year at the time. Part of the reason for our move was my failing health and our finances. It was time for me to get back to the US.

When we arrived here, we had enough to get ourselves an apartment and get set up, thanks to Heavenly Father. We talked to the new Branch President when we first arrived here and he stopped by to say hello and because we didnt express any needs, he said it was nice to have new people into the branch who were interested in helping and instead of asking. It kind of put me off.

On our first Sunday, I was given a calling and when I was set apart, I was told by the 1st counselor that it was sure nice to have a new family into the branch that instead of asking for things was actually willing to give.

Through comments, I didn't feel the spirit at all. I felt like screaming out, we all have needs that don't neccesarily involve money.

In other words, I am going through some issues right now and I feel like the Branch Presidency has preemptively told me, don't bring your needs to the Branch, only bring your service.

Right now, I am dealing with untreated diabetes and untreated high blood pressure. It's untreated in that it affects my daily living. Some days are good, some days are not. It's untreated because of financial issues. Everything is tight right now, not enough money for much food or even transportation. My wife needs help looking for a job. I am making a little money online, but I have good days and bad days when my health cooperates then I can actually earn some money. I think we would be ok even my wife could even find a part time job.

Anyways, our greatest problem isn't the financial issues. It's that we feel like we are left all alone. I know people advise people to just serve more and we certainly are.

I have three callings in the Church. I teach a weekly English class for investigators and members and people from the community. I actually got it started by requesting it in PEC. I saw the need and felt that we should be doing something to build up Zion and instead of just saying something, I needed to be doing something.

At the first of April, we were asked to talk to our Branch President about going to the temple. He said, I know things are tight financially, but we want to be able to help your family go to the temple, the church will pay part, how much can you contribute to a temple trip? I had to just decline it. I don't have anything to contribute to a temple trip.

That meeting hurt me in so many ways. At day 361 as a member, we were a $3 taxi ride away from the temple. But a year is a year. I knew that it would be financially and logistically impossible for us to go to the temple for at least 1 1/2 years if we couldn't go when we were there. No worries. I prayed about it and got the answer back in February. I just didn't like being reminded about things.

Anyways, it's tough for us financially to even afford transportation. There is no public transportation here and we don't have a car. We rely on cheap taxis when we have to go anywhere further than walking. In order to hold the English class one evening, I had to walk 2 1/2 miles to the Chapel and with my health, I was sick for two days afterwards.

Not only am I doing the English class and my two other callings, I also go out every Friday with the Elders so that they can visit single women, single mothers and others who they can't otherwise teach. I am serving and doing my best to help others.

Two weeks ago, I went to the Chapel alone. Someone asked where my wife and kids were and I said at home. Are they sick? Yes. Are you sick also? Yes. Maybe you should go home now. Let me have someone give you a ride. Thanks. My wife and kids weren't there because we didn't have any money for transportation.

Last Sunday, we scraped the money together to go and luckily we found a ride home because otherwise we would have had to walk home. Things are extremely tight for my family right now.

But that is not why I am talking about this. Times are tough and many, many, many people are having financial problems.

I remember when we were in the Philippines, our Bishop passed out questionarires to find out exactly what the needs of his ward members were and he started programs for job training, job information and did a proactive assistance program. We had a ward math class, a ward English class, we had ward skills training classes, we had three ongoing institute classes. Our members learned skills that would help improve them temporally and spiritually. Sure many didn't take advantage of them, but they were available. I felt as though I was part of something important. And despite all of those, there was a underlying feeling among the Bishopric to do even more.

Here, nothing is being done, that I can see. It's for that reason that I suggested and pushed for an English class because there are members who can't speak English.

That's the problem I see. I don't really think anyone cares about me or my family. I do my callings and I know they are important, but I sometimes think, why? The leadership doesn't care. I asked twice for a home teacher, but we don't have one yet. We could really use a home or visiting teaching visit just to know that someone cares.

I frankly don't think the leadership in my branch is reaching out to people in need. It seems like there is nothing being done to help members find jobs. It seems like there is nothing be done to build up education. It seems like there is nothing being done to build up Zion other than getting in front of the branch and telling them how good they are and how good they are doing. All isn't well in Zion, from my vantage point.

I know there is fast offering assistance being given out to people in need, but they are giving people fish instead of teaching them how to fish.

I think these are times when people need to help others and friends need to help friends over the problems that face them. Instead, we feel no love towards our family.

Don't get me wrong, I think our Branch leadership consists of good men and I am just having a hard understanding something. How can another ward, with leadership of very modest means do so much more than a Branch Presidency with a very strong background in the Gospel?

But of course everything boils down to this. My family is going through some very tough times right now. It would make a world of difference to know that our Branch leadership genuinely cares about what we are going through. It would be nice to feel the love of the Church family.

[jadams_4040]

Brother Rico

Well you spoke a mouthfull indeed, and it truely sounds as you are really suffering imensly; I just a few minutes ago got done viewing a church devotional by a wonderfully intelligent and spiritual woman; what struck me the most of her talk was the adversity part of why the lord gives us adversity and the fruits therofe; it struck me very powrfully because right now i too am having very strong health and other issues vey similar to yours; although it does seem like somekind of fish smell when you speak of your bishopric e;t;c? something is simply not right, either yu are feeling guilt or the leadership you speak of is making bad spiritual choices, but anyway something is defdinately amiss? i think everyone honors your desire and efforts to do what the lord has asked yu to do; you sound like a very spiritualy led person; I might suggest that from previous experiance with stuff like what you speak; that you "must" continue on your knees in sincere prayer daily, hourly if needed, do "all" you can and should be doing Always, every minute of every day; keep yourself virtues, . the lord is giving you these trials for a reason; continue to do right, continue,continue, continue, do not ever give up; if you need help from the church then ask for it; if you can get by without it, then do that, but ask for preisthood blessings unto your family and situation. All of us need help sometimes, each and every one of us. sometimes the help will come in ways we didnt expect or wanted it to be; but if you can be the preisthood leader in your family and guide them spiritualy; your family will be granted blessings deriving from your obediance to the lord. It "will" be.

It is true; never ever, think differant, because yoiu will be blessed with blessinghs yu never dreamed possible, but keep up the faith and worthiness, and continue to do all you can and should be doing, and dont forget, no matter ghow tuff things are for you, there are millions that have it much worse.:)

[Hemidakota]

I am debating whether I should post this or not. I know many people are going through the same thing and maybe someone can benefit from hearing that they are not alone.

First off, I know the Church is true, maybe some of the members and leaders aren't but the Church is true.

I am having a very difficult time right now, actually it's been ongoing for many months. It's hard for me to talk about this.

As I mentioned in other posts, my wife, two kids and I moved out of the Philippines to a new place in the first week of March. We had been members for just under a year at the time. Part of the reason for our move was my failing health and our finances. It was time for me to get back to the US.

When we arrived here, we had enough to get ourselves an apartment and get set up, thanks to Heavenly Father. We talked to the new Branch President when we first arrived here and he stopped by to say hello and because we didnt express any needs, he said it was nice to have new people into the branch who were interested in helping and instead of asking. It kind of put me off.

On our first Sunday, I was given a calling and when I was set apart, I was told by the 1st counselor that it was sure nice to have a new family into the branch that instead of asking for things was actually willing to give.

Through comments, I didn't feel the spirit at all. I felt like screaming out, we all have needs that don't neccesarily involve money.

In other words, I am going through some issues right now and I feel like the Branch Presidency has preemptively told me, don't bring your needs to the Branch, only bring your service.

Right now, I am dealing with untreated diabetes and untreated high blood pressure. It's untreated in that it affects my daily living. Some days are good, some days are not. It's untreated because of financial issues. Everything is tight right now, not enough money for much food or even transportation. My wife needs help looking for a job. I am making a little money online, but I have good days and bad days when my health cooperates then I can actually earn some money. I think we would be ok even my wife could even find a part time job.

Anyways, our greatest problem isn't the financial issues. It's that we feel like we are left all alone. I know people advise people to just serve more and we certainly are.

I have three callings in the Church. I teach a weekly English class for investigators and members and people from the community. I actually got it started by requesting it in PEC. I saw the need and felt that we should be doing something to build up Zion and instead of just saying something, I needed to be doing something.

At the first of April, we were asked to talk to our Branch President about going to the temple. He said, I know things are tight financially, but we want to be able to help your family go to the temple, the church will pay part, how much can you contribute to a temple trip? I had to just decline it. I don't have anything to contribute to a temple trip.

That meeting hurt me in so many ways. At day 361 as a member, we were a $3 taxi ride away from the temple. But a year is a year. I knew that it would be financially and logistically impossible for us to go to the temple for at least 1 1/2 years if we couldn't go when we were there. No worries. I prayed about it and got the answer back in February. I just didn't like being reminded about things.

Anyways, it's tough for us financially to even afford transportation. There is no public transportation here and we don't have a car. We rely on cheap taxis when we have to go anywhere further than walking. In order to hold the English class one evening, I had to walk 2 1/2 miles to the Chapel and with my health, I was sick for two days afterwards.

Not only am I doing the English class and my two other callings, I also go out every Friday with the Elders so that they can visit single women, single mothers and others who they can't otherwise teach. I am serving and doing my best to help others.

Two weeks ago, I went to the Chapel alone. Someone asked where my wife and kids were and I said at home. Are they sick? Yes. Are you sick also? Yes. Maybe you should go home now. Let me have someone give you a ride. Thanks. My wife and kids weren't there because we didn't have any money for transportation.

Last Sunday, we scraped the money together to go and luckily we found a ride home because otherwise we would have had to walk home. Things are extremely tight for my family right now.

But that is not why I am talking about this. Times are tough and many, many, many people are having financial problems.

I remember when we were in the Philippines, our Bishop passed out questionarires to find out exactly what the needs of his ward members were and he started programs for job training, job information and did a proactive assistance program. We had a ward math class, a ward English class, we had ward skills training classes, we had three ongoing institute classes. Our members learned skills that would help improve them temporally and spiritually. Sure many didn't take advantage of them, but they were available. I felt as though I was part of something important. And despite all of those, there was a underlying feeling among the Bishopric to do even more.

Here, nothing is being done, that I can see. It's for that reason that I suggested and pushed for an English class because there are members who can't speak English.

That's the problem I see. I don't really think anyone cares about me or my family. I do my callings and I know they are important, but I sometimes think, why? The leadership doesn't care. I asked twice for a home teacher, but we don't have one yet. We could really use a home or visiting teaching visit just to know that someone cares.

I frankly don't think the leadership in my branch is reaching out to people in need. It seems like there is nothing being done to help members find jobs. It seems like there is nothing be done to build up education. It seems like there is nothing being done to build up Zion other than getting in front of the branch and telling them how good they are and how good they are doing. All isn't well in Zion, from my vantage point.

I know there is fast offering assistance being given out to people in need, but they are giving people fish instead of teaching them how to fish.

I think these are times when people need to help others and friends need to help friends over the problems that face them. Instead, we feel no love towards our family.

Don't get me wrong, I think our Branch leadership consists of good men and I am just having a hard understanding something. How can another ward, with leadership of very modest means do so much more than a Branch Presidency with a very strong background in the Gospel?

But of course everything boils down to this. My family is going through some very tough times right now. It would make a world of difference to know that our Branch leadership genuinely cares about what we are going through. It would be nice to feel the love of the Church family.

How much funds do you need to go to the temple and be sealed as a family for ever?

[Rico]

How much funds do you need to go to the temple and be sealed as a family for ever?

Going to the temple isn't about money right now, it's about logistics. The only way to get to the temple is by flying for 6 hours on the plane. My wife really shouldn't leave until her green card AOS is approved and that could be another 6 to 8 months, or more. I need to renew the US passports for my kids and that takes money, but also time, maybe 6 to 8 weeks. It's complicated, but we knew it and so did HF. On day 361 of our membership in the Church, we were a $3 ride away from the temple....now we are a $3000 plane flight(4 people) from the temple.

I am content with waiting on the temple and it's something we prayed about as a family. We decided that it was ok to wait. I just didn't expect to be brought into a meeting and then told, well the church can help to go to temple, but you need put together a budget and figure out how much you can save. Right now, we can save zero. If HF was ok with us not going then, I am sure He is ok with us waiting until we actually have money and can again go to the temple easily.

Our goal is to go to the Seattle temple and be sealed as a family, once we have other things taken care and can make the trip to the mainland and see my mother.

[Rico]

Brother Rico

Well you spoke a mouthfull indeed, and it truely sounds as you are really suffering imensly; I just a few minutes ago got done viewing a church devotional by a wonderfully intelligent and spiritual woman; what struck me the most of her talk was the adversity part of why the lord gives us adversity and the fruits therofe; it struck me very powrfully because right now i too am having very strong health and other issues vey similar to yours; although it does seem like somekind of fish smell when you speak of your bishopric e;t;c? something is simply not right, either yu are feeling guilt or the leadership you speak of is making bad spiritual choices, but anyway something is defdinately amiss? i think everyone honors your desire and efforts to do what the lord has asked yu to do; you sound like a very spiritualy led person; I might suggest that from previous experiance with stuff like what you speak; that you "must" continue on your knees in sincere prayer daily, hourly if needed, do "all" you can and should be doing Always, every minute of every day; keep yourself virtues, . the lord is giving you these trials for a reason; continue to do right, continue,continue, continue, do not ever give up; if you need help from the church then ask for it; if you can get by without it, then do that, but ask for preisthood blessings unto your family and situation. All of us need help sometimes, each and every one of us. sometimes the help will come in ways we didnt expect or wanted it to be; but if you can be the preisthood leader in your family and guide them spiritualy; your family will be granted blessings deriving from your obediance to the lord. It "will" be.

It is true; never ever, think differant, because yoiu will be blessed with blessinghs yu never dreamed possible, but keep up the faith and worthiness, and continue to do all you can and should be doing, and dont forget, no matter ghow tuff things are for you, there are millions that have it much worse.:)

Thanks, the help I need isn't financial. I will make do and get through things. Heavenly Father watched out for me when I wasn't following the Gospel, I know He won't abandon me now.

I am just looking for fellowship and friendship. I'd like to see some work towards building up Zion. This is the time to do it. Despite my health issues and financial issues, I am ready and willing to do what it takes to help out. This is our chance to be part of something better and more important than ourselves.

I'd love to have the stupidity to go and talk to our Branch Presidency and say:

Look, this is what we need to do. We need to have institute classes. We need to have job training. We need to run our own mini ERC. Heck, I was an volunteer at the ERC, give me me the manuals, I can teach the modules if no one else wants to. People need to feel like the church cares about them and their situation. Caring can mean all the difference. All isn't well in Zion right now. We need to light a fire under our Branch and focus on building up Zion.

But I won't say that because it's not me to get inspiration for the Branch. I will just keep it to myself.

I have seen inspired leadership in this Church and I know that this Church is true. I know that members and leaders make mistakes. I just pray that our Branch President would ask us this 5th Sunday for Relief Society and EQ members to give their ideas to help build up Israel.

[chiccam]

This really saddens me because I see you really trying to make an effort to serve others and for the right reasons. I personally hate complaining about anything in the church because I feel like I then should do something to help my complaint, which is what you’re doing by teaching English.

I understand your frustrations and honestly I think you moved into a heavily burdened ward. There aren’t enough members on the up side to even out the needs of others. I was in a ward like that and it stayed that way for a long time. Finally the boundaries changed and there are more people to lessen the load of others. I think they see you on the up and therefore they are trying to get your help. I know you will get blessed for this. Follow the advice of your Bishop and make a dedicated effort for a temple trip fund. Seriously if you have to start with quarters just do that. I’m not kidding. You will be blessed and I really believe your goal with going to the Seattle (woohoo that’s where I’m at) temple will be met.

[Dravin]

I asked twice for a home teacher, but we don't have one yet.

Do you not have one? Or have they not stopped by? I know they're effectively the same thing on your end but they are administratively different, one is an issue of the leadership not getting around to it, the other is your HTs not getting around to it.

Things may not be happening because of the 'same ten people syndrome', if generally speaking nobody is willing to step up then nothing much is going to be happening and you can only pile on so much onto those who are willing to step up before they burn out or start crossing the line between the Church/programs being there to benefit the family and the family being there to support the Church/programs. You have a better idea of the tenor of your ward but considering how elated the leadership with somebody who was willing to serve and provide something to the ward* it may not be an issue of the leadership not wanting to do anything but not feeling they have the manpower/support to do anything.

* For instance if a significant number of people in the ward can't home teach or what have you for what ever reason it would get frustrating trying to get Home Teaching done and I'd be ecstatic over each person who could do so.

[Rico]

Do you not have one? Or have they not stopped by? I know they're effectively the same thing on your end but they are administratively different, one is an issue of the leadership not getting around to it, the other is your HTs not getting around to it.

I am the EQ secretary. It's a case of no home teachers being assigned. I have suggested it twice, but I feel out of place doing any more than that because my calling is to serve others, not serve myself. I'd love to be assigned the HT companionship that's having the most difficult time of doing their home teaching because every Sunday, I would suggest that they come and visit me that week.

it may not be an issue of the leadership not wanting to do anything but not feeling they have the manpower/support to do anything.

Well, I think they feel hamstrung. Where I am is one of the most economically depressed areas in the US. Population has fallen 30% in the last 4 years. Total employment is probably less than half of what is was just 5 years ago. There is a large misallocation of labor, meaning that the skills needed are not present in the existing unemployed workforce. What this means is that the people are depressed.

I know a lot of people are praying for things to get better and hoping that things can be improved, but I remember what Elder Bednar said. He said, to the effect, are you willing to be the answer to your prayers? I am willing to be. I am just one person and I am doing my best.

At the same time, I feel so alone. My family feels alone. We just want to feel that someone actually cares. I have a feeling that if me and my family feels that need, I am sure that other families feel that need as well.

I know have an idea and I thank you for that...time to suggest another idea....