Why Don't People Attend Church On A Regular Basis

[StrawberryFields]

I have been at both ends of the spectrum and I will say that I defiantly feel more connected in most aspects of my life when I am going on a regular basis.

I have given quite a bit of thought to many things that have been said on the "How Important is Regular Church Attendance?" Something that speaks to me loud and clear is that we show what is important to us by our actions and not our words. When we go to church on a regular basis we have callings where we are given the opportunity to serve others and by doing so we are very blessed. Never do I learn as much as when I am given the opportunity to teach someone else.

By attending church we demonstrate by our actions that the gospel is important to us. I think that this is especially important to do for our children who may be confused at times when we occasionally make a mistake of some sort. Consistent service in the church and going for the right reasons will go far in our imperfections. One of the greatest things to remember is that the gospel is for perfecting the saints and not for perfect saints.

I also feel that it is important for people not to judge the reasons why another chooses to stay away for a time. I believe that consistent love and understanding is the best way to aide in someone who chooses not to attend regularly for a time. It is not possible to walk in the shoes of another so it is best not to judge their situation. A friendly and sincere "It's so good to see you! Will you sit by me? ¡Èwill suffice most situations. Some people might enjoy having others ask them what is new in their lives but probing questions about why they have not been to church is just rude and meant to add guilt to their plate IMHO.

[Traveler]

Funny but I have never thought the discussion about attending church had anything to do with judging others. I thought it was all about who we really are and what we really believe - not the type of belief we say in a croud so that others can hear but the type that sticks with you when the storms of life are about you and you are alone.

I like what a GA once said at a BYU devotional. He said that reading the scriptures is not really necessary every day. You can skip when ever it is not convenient or does not work out in your schedule. He suggested that we only consider reading the scriptures on the days we eat.

The Traveler

[StrawberryFields]

Originally posted by Traveler@Aug 24 2005, 07:10 AM

Funny but I have never thought the discussion about attending church had anything to do with judging others.  I thought it was all about who we really are and what we really believe - not the type of belief we say in a croud so that others can hear but the type that sticks with you when the storms of life are about you and you are alone.

I like what a GA once said at a BYU devotional.  He said that reading the scriptures is not really necessary every day.  You can skip when ever it is not convenient or does not work out in your schedule.  He suggested that we only consider reading the scriptures on the days we eat.

The Traveler

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This discussion is not just about attending church it is also about why people don't attend. Sometimes people don't attend church because they feel that they are being judged by others like in the last thread about church attendance.

[DisRuptive1]

Or because they feel alone (everyone seems paired up in a single's ward)

[Ray]

I have two sons, age 22 and 25, who are both inactive in the Church, even to the point of not being willing to go to Church meetings, and I know it is because they just aren’t willing, or ready, to accept anyone else but themselves as the Lord of their lives. And I’m speaking collectively of them even though each one has a mind of his own.

That’s what it’s all about, you know, and not until we are ready to listen and follow someone who knows better than any of us about how to be happy, can we be truly happy.

And btw, I also know that the best thing I can do for them, and the best thing my wife or anybody else can do for them, is to show them we love them and are willing to do whatever we can to help them be happy. And my wife and I both try to show them and everyone else that we are only happy when we do what we know is right… which comes as we listen to our Lord and the counsel He gives us concerning how to be happy.

[StrawberryFields]

Originally posted by DisRuptive1@Aug 24 2005, 03:39 PM

Or because they feel alone (everyone seems paired up in a single's ward)

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Disruptive1, really everyone else seems paired up in your singles ward? Maybe there are just others who are like you and also feel alone so they don't go. It might be a topic worth asking about to your bishop.

BTW, I noticed that with the new site here came a spot to fill in where we are from. Where are you from Yorba Linda?

[Laureltree]

I attend because it helps me to feel the spirit and fill my cup to hold me through to the next week. I think with out it, the trials would get us down.

[eleigh1977]

I'll be honest and state there are times I attend and I receive NOTHING out of attending. I have talked to several people for a few years, who have left the church and the BIG reason was what they felt as a 'lack of spirit' or edifying in church meetings. They've attended non-lds meetings and love the imagery and music. I don't always contend that sacredness should always equal simplicity.

Granted there are always those who adore going and always 'get something' to take away from a meeting....but many times,I find that now to be a rare gem. When I am moved and have something to think about, it's very exciting to me...but then again I also have to remember that maybe what WAS NOT important to me or worth thinking about, was to someone else.

PART of the reason I love living in a University town, is we quite often have intelligent students and professors in the wards....who want to think and discuss. They don't want to be rote in the lessons. Sunday school, is a hard one to swallow, and the hardest class for me to attend, because very rarely do we discuss. One time in six and a half years has there been an interesting discussion in SS, since I've been here. However, RS and sacrament usually I can take something away from. I wish I was alone in stating that SS is boring...and many feel pointless, but I know I am not...just from the many friends I've had in wards. FAR too many people feel the same way, but never say anything except w/ in their friendship circles. I have a lot of frienship circles...and if I hear it a lot....then I am assuming it's not just exclusive to my ward.

I think for some people....they don't attend, because they are flat out bored.

I think some people don't attend...because they are living their lives in such a way that is against standard teaching...and they know it.

I think some come to the conclusion, the church just isn't true and end their membership.

Why do I go?

Mostly because I made a promise. I made a promise to lift and edify those around me. Church provides a great opportunity to learn of service needs...to reconnect as a 'family', if I allow myself to be open enough to see the subtle needs that aren't always vocally expressed.

I made the choice about a year ago, to just smile and say hi to everyone who caught my eye....it's made a huge difference. Not that, that normally isn't a part of my natural personality...but I specifically sought out the people who looked in their faces like death worn over a thousand times...it helped to soften them. THey may still not smile or talk to anyone else, but I can always count on a smile. PLUS my kids are fabulous. They always go and sit w/ people who are by themselves...and my kids make most people smile. I appreciate their personalities so much and am grateful they help to brighten someone elses day.

I also made a deal w/ myself to listen to everyone who spoke/taught and see what small tid bit of information I could take away and chew on for the week. Some weeks, there has been nothing...some weeks the ideas and thoughts have been plentiful.

I know some single parents, for who attending is just hard. It's a constant struggle and they feel like charity and frankly people can be very uncomfortable with them. My mom was single for a long time, so I am especially fond and helpful to single parent families. I know how lonely it can feel. I know how some married sisters can shun single mothers, imparticular (I am not sure the same thing happens w/ a single father), because they think they have nothing in common. I saw my mom left out a number of times when the married sisters would plan get togethers....It was retarded. I know, of some sisters, (my mom included before she and my dad were remarried), who would try to coordinate outings and things of that nature w/ all sisters, only to have the married ones back out. I've seen it happen in a number of wards...so I know it happens. I have to wonder why?

I personally have always wanted an LDS 'best friend'. I have never had that opportunity. The four women I love most on this earth are not members of the church. One is a pagan...or now aligns her self more w/ that philosophy...one is an inactive Catholic...one is a baptist and the other is now of the Hindu faith. I love it, and equally feel sad that I can't seem to become as close w/ some women of my own faith. It would be nice....but I have since learned to just take whatever depth of friendship I receive from the LDS women I serve with. So that can make it lonely to attend....but I am also not shy....so I talk to everyone. Which does make it easier, even if that longing is never fulfilled.

I have heard many people complain about the SA program as a place just to place the misplaced.... I know I felt that way as a YSA. I was so happy when I met my newly baptized hubby.....He still had the characteristics of someone who wasn't righteously anal and overly churchy (I hope I don't offend...but please, we've met people like that...and unfortunately I just kept DATING guys like that until I met my husband)...but very committed to God and Christ and his then, potential family. I so appreciate his up bringing/life experience, because he always gives me different perspectives, since I grew up LDS. I think it's important to listen closely to those w/ other life experiences. I don't know that it always happens...but I know I try to do that.

There are a lot of reasons people go and for people not to go. I could list a thousand more reasons.

It comes down to a personal choice, and everything is based on how we truly feel.....so if someone isn't 'feeling' church, they are less likely to attend.

People want to socialize...people hope to make some connection...some people have no where else to go. I think it's that way for many churches and congregations....it's a place many feel accepted. IT's a place where many don't feel accepted.

It most literally is a similitude of family....and we must work on those relationships if we believe we are children of God.

Going to church weekly puts us in touch w/ a ward/branch family and that's about the only way we can truly learn from each other.....become one...is through continual contact.

Just my thoughts....probably incoherent....but there it is.

[StrawberryFields]

Originally posted by eleigh1977@Aug 28 2005, 09:11 AM

It comes down to a personal choice, and everything is based on how we truly feel.....so if someone isn't 'feeling' church, they are less likely to attend.

People want to socialize...people hope to make some connection...some people have no where else to go. I think it's that way for many churches and congregations....it's a place many feel accepted. IT's a place where many don't feel accepted.

It most literally is a similitude of family....and we must work on those relationships if we believe we are children of God.

Going to church weekly puts us in touch w/ a ward/branch family and that's about the only way we can truly learn from each other.....become one...is through continual contact.

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Very good eleigh1977 I really enjoyed your post.

The above helps to explain some of the importance of attending church for me as well.

Attending church also helps me to feel grounded in a world that keeps me spinning out of control at times.

Another good reason to attend to to take the sacrament so that I can renew my covenants and make it through another week.

[Guest Member_Deleted]

I attend 4 out of 5 times. I always give myself one day a month to really rest. I enjoy church, but I find that if I go so regularly I become complacent and spiritually non responsive. It becomes more a social obligation than a spiritual journey.

That one day off, I reset my spiritual setting to be more appreciative of the spiritual benefits of church.

So maybe why some don't go regularly is that they have lost that balance and become too complacent. Or maybe they are looking for all the wrong things when they do go to church and then they don't find them and become disgruntled.

Church is actually a place to 'work' spiritually. Challenges will present themselves there so that you can overcome the world. It isn't an amusement park where you can find just what you want to ride and eat and do, it is Christ's workshop on becoming like Him.

Think about what He endured; ridicule, loneliness, rejection, frustration at the ignorance of men.

We have to suffer that also to be His, at least to some extent. He said that they persecuted Him, and therefore they would persecute those who tried to be like Him.

[eleigh1977]

Peace, I do that as well! I thought I was the only one! :) I do this especially when I see the past Sabbath was filled w/ nothing but meetings and I didn't get to have a day of rest and truly remember the Lord. I probably honestly, take one weekend off every two months. Also when I go on vacation, I go on vacation. I don't visit other wards, unless I visit my side of the family. Then of course, I have to. If we visit my husband's family we go to church in their parish w/ them. It's a nice change of pace once in a while and helps us to reacknowledge why we believe what we believe.

I don't think it's a problem. Most people consider me a liberal anyway. Oh well.