Is this possible?

[MRC32]

I have been wondering about this lately, as I don't see as to how this could be possible, but apparentley it happens all the time in the church.

Say two people are sealed in the temple for ever. One spouse has an affair and refuses to work things out with the other spouse and stays with the person he/she is having an affair with. After the divorce goes through the ex-spouse and the person that he/she was having an affair with decide to get married. Could they get sealed in the temple?

I guess the problem I have understanding are, how could the ex-spouse and person he/she had an affair with truely repent for what they had done and become worthy to enter the temple together? If they were to truely repent of such a serious sin, they would have to have true sorrow for what they had done, which I don't feel could be done if they were still together.

[pam]

If a person is repentant and has gone through all the steps of repentance they can be remarried in the temple. Unless of course you are a female. Then you have to have your original sealing cancelled.

[john doe]

I have been wondering about this lately, as I don't see as to how this could be possible, but apparentley it happens all the time in the church.

.

How sure are you that this happens all the time in the church? I acknowledge that infidelity and divorce exist, but I can't imagine that there is a terribly large number of people who end up repenting, getting a sealing dissolved, and then becoming sealed to someone else in the temple.

[BenRaines]

In all my 55 years I know of it happening once to someone I knew. I have lived in many areas and served in many callings and know of it once. Two temple attending couples. Husband from one and wife from another fall for each other. Divorce, two unfaithful spouses marry, both lose membership in church, many years later rebaptized. Some years later sealed to each other and attend temple regularly. It happens.

Ben Raines

[foreverafter]

I have been wondering about this lately, as I don't see as to how this could be possible, but apparentley it happens all the time in the church.

Say two people are sealed in the temple for ever. One spouse has an affair and refuses to work things out with the other spouse and stays with the person he/she is having an affair with. After the divorce goes through the ex-spouse and the person that he/she was having an affair with decide to get married. Could they get sealed in the temple?

I guess the problem I have understanding are, how could the ex-spouse and person he/she had an affair with truely repent for what they had done and become worthy to enter the temple together? If they were to truely repent of such a serious sin, they would have to have true sorrow for what they had done, which I don't feel could be done if they were still together.

Yes, this is so rampant in the Church. I have known many to do this. But don't be deceived. Go look up what the Presidents of the Church have said about divorce & adultery.

Of course it would not be true repentance if they continued to stay together. To truely repent one must forsake the sin, that means the adulterous lover too, for part of the huge sin was abandoning & abusing your spouse by the relationship with the other person, you must forsake the abandonment & abuse by returning to your spouse. To stay with your adulterous lover, even if it's been 50 years, just continues the abandonment & abuse & neglect of your former spouse. It's easy for many to say they are repentant & that they are sorry they hurt their abandoned spouse but they tell on themselves when they don't give up the relationship & return & do all they can to make restitution to their former spouse. The proof of repentance is in the Forsaking & Restitution part.

If you have ever listened to a truely repentant person who committed adultery you would know how deeply they feel the pain of the spouse that they hurt & how they would do anything to repair it. A truely repentant person would be so disgusted & repulsed & deeply remorseful for what they have done & would rather die than continue in the sin with the adulterous person or to continue to hurt & abandon their former spouse. They would want to spend the rest of their life in restitution & making it all up to the hurt spouse & children, even if the spouse didn't trust them or want them back. They would try for years to regain the trust of their former spouse & put their marriage & family back together.

Adultery doesn't stop being adultery just because the people divorce & remarry their adulterous lover. Time does not equal repentance either. 100 years or even 20 children later, does not change the fact that the relationship is adultery. Only forsaking the sinful relationship does.

Else bank robbers could repent too without ever giving the money back. That would sure teach people to not rob, divorce or commit adulery wouldn't it?

The last word from a President of the Church on divorce is the same as it has always been, that only a rare divorce, under extreme situations, might be justifed & not be adultery:

"A divorce can be justified only in the most rare of circumstances, because it often tears people's lives apart & shears family happiness." Pres. Benson, "Father, Consider Your Ways", pamphlet. (Pres. Hinckley also requoted this in a Gen. Conf. not too long ago)

"No judge in all the land can annul a marriage for time & all eternity. He may separate the husband & wife by legal enactments so far as this world is concerned, but he cannot separate a husband & wife so far as the next world is concerned. When a man & his wife lose their faith & go to the courts & get a separation, & then go out & marry according to the laws of the land, they are not culpable (guilty) before the law of the land, but they are before the kingdom of God & what the Savior says here in this revelation is absolutely true:... "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, & shall marry another, committeth adultery & whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

(Matt. 19:9) Pres. Joseph Fielding Smith, CR Apr. 1961. 50.

"I would like to say much about Divorce. When you go home, you pick up your Bible & turn to the 19th chapter of Matthew, read the first 9 verses. I get letters sometimes from people who say, "What are we going to do?" In Matthew it reads so & so and yet the Church is not following it strictly." Well, I write back & say, "I have no authority to change the word of the Lord. Read it."

Joseph Fielding Smith, Answers to Gospel Questions, Vol. 4

"Salvation is lost through divorce....A man would not get tired of his wife, if he had the love of God in his heart. A woman would not get tired of her husband, if she had in her heart the love of God. They could not do it! And think of the children. Here you have a broken home. These people get a divorce & then they want to get a cancellation perhaps, of their sealing. They want to marry somebody else. And there you have a broken home. What is going to become of the parents? What is going to become of the children? Haven't the children any rights? The parents become separated. Each going a different way, but they want to be friends! And then they expect to marry again for time & all eternity & enter the Celestial Kingdom of God to receive all the blessings of Exaltation! Are they entitled to do it? Not as I read the scriptures, they are not entitled to do it."

Joseph Fielding Smith, CR Apr. 1961 (Read the whole talk for much more on the seriousness of divorce)

"It is a far more serious matter for a husband & wife to seek a separation than many seem to think. The words of the Lord as recorded in Matthew 19:3-9, should be carefully considered. I am convinced, that the Lord will force some couples who separate, without justification after they have been sealed in the house of the Lord, back together again to each other, or else they will lose their reward."

Joseph Fielding Smith, Church History and Modern Revelation 4:160-161.

Edited September 6, 2009 by foreverafter

[Guest Alana]

I know of a few who divorce and then petition for a cancellation of their sealing, and want to be sealed to someone else. I don't know anyone who have actually received a OK on the sealing cancellation though.

[pam]

I know personally of one couple that have done it. Someone I grew up with. I doubt there are many that actually make it through all the processes though. So I seriously doubt it happens all the time.

[Gwen]

i don't think you get to decided what qualifies as proper or complete repentance. that is between the person and the lord.

when someone sends a letter for sealing clearance or cancellation one of the things asked is if the person they intend to marry was part of the reason for the divorce to begin with. i would imagine this question is in place because that is frowned upon. all the cases of an endowed person having an affair that i know of the person was excommunicated.

i'm having a difficult time believing the "this happens all the time" statement as well.

Edited September 6, 2009 by Gwen

[Justice]

Adultery doesn't stop being adultery just because the people divorce & remarry their adulterous lover. Time does not equal repentance either. 100 years or even 20 children later, does not change the fact that the relationship is adultery. Only forsaking the sinful relationship does.

Else bank robbers could repent too without ever giving the money back. That would sure teach people to not rob, divorce or commit adulery wouldn't it?

I get the point you're trying to make, but I wouldn't compare those 2 things.

I think "this happens all the time" is drastically overstated, at least where I live.

[bytebear]

My cousin had her first sealing canceled and remarried in the temple. Her ex-husband could not remarry in the temple until he had shown the bishop that he was paying child support, however. It isn't just adultery that will keep you from the temple.

[california_ave]

The Church Handbook of Instructions (1998 p73) gives the following guidance to Bishops and Stake Presidents regarding the question:

If a person who has been sealed to a spouse commits adultery, he or she may not be sealed to the partner in the adultery unless:

1. The President of the Church authorizes the sealing as part of his action on an

application for cancellation of sealing or sealing clearance, or

2. The restriction against such a sealing is thereafter lifted by the President of the

Church. A couple who desire the lifting of the restriction so they can be sealed may seek

an interview with their bishop and stake president. If these leaders feel to recommend

removal of the restriction, they may write separate or joint letters to the First Presidency,

summarizing their recommendations and commenting on the applicants' temple

worthiness and the stability of their marriage for at least five years. The couple should

also write a letter of request to the First Presidency. The stake president should submit

all of these letters to the First Presidency.

That is the official church policy/procedure.

[deseretgov]

My friend's mother and father seperated and got their sealing cancelled. It wasn't because of adultery though.

[Grandmakabipbip]

In the end... whatever the church allows-- it is all monitored by the Lord. He will decide where He will allow such.

[Arkwelder]

I think only the truly ignorant can divorce, cancel their sealing, and get away with it in the Lord's eyes.

[Grandmakabipbip]

um.. wait a minute... the ignorant divorce, cancel their sealing and get away with it in the Lord's eyes?

Doesn't this suggest that the Lord allows people to get away with something untoward?

[pam]

I think only the truly ignorant can divorce, cancel their sealing, and get away with it in the Lord's eyes.

If I were to take your comment point blank..I would find you stating that anyone that divorces and cancels their sealing are truly ignorant. That certainly is not the case in all divorces and cancellations.

Did you want to clarify your statement a bit?

[foreverafter]

I think only the truly ignorant can divorce, cancel their sealing, and get away with it in the Lord's eyes.

Nobody gets away with anything in this life, especially not something as evil, destructive & abusive as divorce. As Pres. Packer said a few months back, "Everyone knows when they do wrong." Members of the Church especially, have no excuse that they didn't know (or couldn't have found out) how serious & sacred their marriage vows were, it's very easy to find this out, if one will just search, ponder & pray alittle. Only we are to blame if we don't do that & are thus deceived to break our sacred temple covenants.

Since divorce can only be justified in the most rare of circumstances, as the Prophets say, (& sadly most everyone thinks that God confirmed their decision to divorce & that their situation is that rare one) all the rest who are deceived by the Adversary's whisperings & divorce unjustifiably & cancel their sealings & remarry, will not get away with it at all. The Prophets have warned that unjustified divorce is one of the most serious sins a person can commit & that those who do it will lose their Exaltation, no matter how many leaders they deceive here on earth, as they declare themselves justified & worthy. They will have to one day face & pay for their sins & the lives & hearts they destroyed, as they chose to put their own needs, happiness & welfare before their spouse's & children's.

Edited September 8, 2009 by foreverafter

[pam]

Yes I am divorced..therefore I am evil, destructive and abusive...and have fallen for the adversary's whisperings. I have done wrong. I confess before all here.

I admit..I didn't know that divorcing someone due to abuse was wrong. Nor that I will be forever damned in the next life. I have sinned.

Edited September 8, 2009 by pam

[Maxel]

I think in today's world we'll see an increase of justified divorces as well as unjustified divorces. As men leave their families and mistreat their wives in greater numbers, so too will the numbers of wives seeking refuge from that abuse and abandonment seeking legal means of protection increase.

Off thet top of my head, I can think of 3 different women who I feel are justified in their divorce because of abuse suffered at the hands of their husbands. And that's not even trying.

[foreverafter]

Pam,

The Prophets did say that there may be a rare justified situation that justifies divorce, only you know if yours was such. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like you were not justified, I understand how serious abuse is. I was merely talking about all the rest of the divorces that are not justified & how it can appear that they are getting away with it, at least for now. I have just known so very many people who have abandoned their good & faithful spouses & have claimed to be justified, when they are really the destructive one in the relationship but they can't see it. The destruction they cause is enormous.

Edited September 8, 2009 by foreverafter

[pam]

(& sadly most everyone thinks that God confirmed their decision to divorce & that their situation is that rare one

The Prophets did say that there may be a rare justified situation that justifies divorce, only you know if yours was such

Don't these statement kind of contradict each other?

[foreverafter]

Pam,

While some, if not most people are deceived to think that God confirmed their decision to divorce (& inside the temple is the Adversary's favorite place to decieve people on this cause most think he can't influence them in there, but he can & does all the time) & thus they think that they are justified, but that doesn't mean that some rare individuals (like maybe yourself) can really be told they are justified. It's just we must be very careful & sure, by comparing all our personal revelation with what the Presidents of the Church have said, then we will be safe, cause the spirit never tells us anything different than what the Presidents of the Church say.

[Gwen]

I think in today's world we'll see an increase of justified divorces as well as unjustified divorces. As men leave their families and mistreat their wives in greater numbers, so too will the numbers of wives seeking refuge from that abuse and abandonment seeking legal means of protection increase.

Off thet top of my head, I can think of 3 different women who I feel are justified in their divorce because of abuse suffered at the hands of their husbands. And that's not even trying.

i would just like to point out that in today's changing times women can be and in many cases are just as abusive as a man is capable of being. sometimes a man must leave an abusive relationship. sometimes women are the ones that neglectfully abandon their families. let's be fair across the board. sometimes a family is abandoned (by father or mother), sometimes there is abuse (from the man or woman) in these cases seeking a divorce is justified.

[Gwen]

Pam,

While some, if not most people are deceived to think that God confirmed their decision to divorce (& inside the temple is the Adversary's favorite place to decieve people on this cause most think he can't influence them in there, but he can & does all the time) & thus they think that they are justified, but that doesn't mean that some rare individuals (like maybe yourself) can really be told they are justified. It's just we must be very careful & sure, by comparing all our personal revelation with what the Presidents of the Church have said, then we will be safe, cause the spirit never tells us anything different than what the Presidents of the Church say.

sorry for butting in pam but i have to take issue with this..... "inside the temple is the adversary's favorite place to deceive people...."? the whole point of the temple is that it is a refuge from the adversary. he can not be in the temple. "the spirit never tells us anything different than what the presidents of the church say" so the presidents of the church can never be wrong and every word they say is applicable to every person in every situation but the adversary can enter the temple and give us 'personal revelation'....? i'm sorry i can not consider that sound logic. can you back this claim up with anything other than your opinion?

if you want to say that satan can influnace one's thought process prior to entering the temple, and that those who are not in tune and fully listening to the spirit can allow themselves to think on this "logic" while in the temple and convience themselfs of something and try to claim it's personal revelation cause they made the decision in the temple... i can go along with that. but satan can not give us personal revelation... that is very different from ideas and thought processes. he can confuse us and we can choose to take that to heart and use it to make a decision (that's his goal). if we make that decision in the temple without listening to the spirit that is our choice. but satan does not give personal revelation and he can not and does not enter the temple. being in the temple is not a promise that you will feel the spirit but it is a refuge from satan.

[ryanh]

I think only the truly ignorant can divorce, cancel their sealing, and get away with it in the Lord's eyes.

I think only the truly ignorant would assume they can understand the situations of others so clearly.