looking for new friends

[flyswatguy]

Just saying hello and hoping to find some interesting people to chat to .

i have been inactive at church for about 4 years , my wife still goes and on odd occasions i go with her .

before going inactive i was a strong member for about 20 years , i was married in the temple in 1980 and still have a happy marriage .

we do everything together except go to church which seems quite silly but their it is .

we met at church and had five children , most of my time there was very happy but towards the last few years of activity i became very depressed and found myself looking for a way out .

when i do go to church i enjoy the meeting and love the recverence and hymns . i have overcome the stress and depression problem but now find i have a problem with the lack of freedom of exspression and open debate in lds meetings .

i am getting older now and really do not want to leave this world without being part of the covenant i once made .

however i find this problem really hits me every time i go to lds meetings and get the jitters when i hear people bearing their testimony wherin they copy each others words and even whole sentences fall into predictable statements .

i believe i am open minded about this and if anybody has any advice i am willing to listen

[Gemma]

Welcome! I enjoyed your message its nice to hear you're thinking about coming back.

I have no experience to base advice on but I'd like to share what I thought about what you had to say.

It sounds like you still have a testimony of the church and a belief in the covenants you've made - the first thought I had was that, although you have concerns, the blessings and benefits of activity will be so amazing that you should try it despite those concerns, it will be worth it!

Regarding your concerns, with respect to testimony I would say remember that the church is full of imperfect people - so their testimonies may not be perfect, or their ability to express what their actually feeling may not be perfect and when nervously standing in front of a room full of people they may find that the words used by others are all that comes to mind. When your ready to bear your testimony, I'm sure that any heart felt expression of your beleif in and love of the gospel will be accepted.

In the case of lessons, I think we need to remember that the lesson isn't just about us - there's 20 or 30 other people in the class, and a teacher who has done their best to prepare but again, isn't perfect. This means that a question (debate) which interests you may not be the most uplifting thing for the majority of the class at that time - not that its wrong, just that there is a different point that needs to be the focus of that particular lesson. There's nothing wrong with open disscussion and debate, just be aware that sometimes its better disscussed with leaders or a small group of friends outside of formal meetings.

Hope that helps - and I hope you can keep going back, and that you start to feel comfortable at church again.

[Hemidakota]

When I ever see a marriage, whether it is civil or temple for more than 15-years, it is indeed a blessing and example to others in enduring any trials of marriage. God bless and welcome to the forum.

[rameumptom]

Welcome.

We always must remember that not everyone is at the same place in life, especially regarding their testimonies. For many, they lean upon one another's testimonies for strength, which is why many testimonies sound alike. And that is fine.

We attend Church to renew our covenants with the Sacrament and commune with the Lord. I definitely do not go to hear uplifting and spiritual talks from people who likely only speak in Sacrament once a year at most, as most of them are not strong eloquent speakers, nor well-studied gospel scholars.

I have my biggest spiritual experiences and learning times in other venues.

Sometimes it is a matter of changing our expectations of others, so we can be satisfied.

[flyswatguy]

Welcome! I enjoyed your message its nice to hear you're thinking about coming back.

I have no experience to base advice on but I'd like to share what I thought about what you had to say.

It sounds like you still have a testimony of the church and a belief in the covenants you've made - the first thought I had was that, although you have concerns, the blessings and benefits of activity will be so amazing that you should try it despite those concerns, it will be worth it!

Regarding your concerns, with respect to testimony I would say remember that the church is full of imperfect people - so their testimonies may not be perfect, or their ability to express what their actually feeling may not be perfect and when nervously standing in front of a room full of people they may find that the words used by others are all that comes to mind. When your ready to bear your testimony, I'm sure that any heart felt expression of your beleif in and love of the gospel will be accepted.

In the case of lessons, I think we need to remember that the lesson isn't just about us - there's 20 or 30 other people in the class, and a teacher who has done their best to prepare but again, isn't perfect. This means that a question (debate) which interests you may not be the most uplifting thing for the majority of the class at that time - not that its wrong, just that there is a different point that needs to be the focus of that particular lesson. There's nothing wrong with open disscussion and debate, just be aware that sometimes its better disscussed with leaders or a small group of friends outside of formal meetings.

Hope that helps - and I hope you can keep going back, and that you start to feel comfortable at church again.

yes i think your right i do still have a testimony of some sort more especially of the life and teachings of Joseph smith .

other things that happened after i stopped going to church is everyone gossipped as humans always do , also the missionaries stopped coming to my home ,its now been five years of no missionaries even tho the chapel is only a block away , for four years the missionaries actually lived with us during the 1990,s so this was a particular cruel blow , now i exspect people are thinking i treated them badly but i never did ,never had across word with them and always made them welcome , i have a custom of never turning people away from my door if they wish to talk about religion so even the jw,s get a welcome and some air time , are home has six adults and four children under six all of whom are either inactive or non members . so its really strange . sometimes i sit on my verandah and can see the chapel steeple from across the way , i am just so mystified about this and wonder who said what to make our home so bad , as the Bishop texts me sometimes and even invited me to dinner one night i don,t think its anybody in the ward leadership , when i asked the missionaries how come they don,t come around anymore they look embarresed and say there very busy .

because of all this going back seems difficult as my respect for the mormon local leadership is to say the least at a very low ebb .

the only thing i did to bring this about is that during a private discussion with my high priest group leader i told him that i did not think the BOM was the natural history of south america . he obviously spread this far and wide which didn,t do me any favours .

i actually believe the book of mormon is inspired but was recieved through the subconscious mind of joseph smith , in his own statement he said that the BOM was translated by the gift and power of god and written from the treasure trove of the heart ,

this last sentence about the treasure trove of the heart explains a lot but is never quoted by church leaders in general .

all being said and done the book of mormom is a spiritual guide and is of mystical origin as no man could have written such a book on his own account , not even shakespear could have done it .

so here i am stuck in no mans land withhalf a testimony ..

...

Edited October 8, 2009 by flyswatguy

[Bini]

Welcome to the site.