hamsandwizh Posted October 13, 2009 Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 Hi! So what's going on is I converted back when I was, I think 18 or 19 years old, I talked to the missionaries, I searched them out, not them finding me, lol, after doing a lot of research of many different religions online, decided this one looked to be the best for me. Anyways, converted, went to church several times, than got baptised, continued to attend through a decent part of my time in the military, anyways, to keep this short, I am out of the military, have been for a few years, live back home in San Diego. An issue from the start and is still an issue is my family is NOT ok with myself converting to mormon, now we were never raised with a religion or went to church so it's not like I am going against some family tradition or anything. Anyways, I am clearly old enough to make my own decisions, I have not been to church in years and want to go back real bad but no matter how much I talk to my family about it they are really against the idea and send a lot of anger at me about it. So any advice on how to handle that would be great... Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSVALLEY Posted October 13, 2009 Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 I am assuming you are talking about parents\siblings\extended family not spouse\children based on what is written. My wife and myself were the only two members of our families to be baptized Mormon when we were adults we found the church. At first they were against the idea and we heard much negative comments. I treated them with humor and held to "God gave us the agency to choose things for ourselves" attitude in my mind and got baptized anyway along with my wife. Only a couple of friends came to it. After the family knew we were baptized we just didn't talk to them about the church at all. Instead we lived correct principles and began raising our children. Over time their hearts have softened. They respect us doing prayers at family gatherings, most of them have attended our 3 children's baptism's. My Mom a few years ago even suggested we wrap up leftovers from Thanksgiving for the Missionaries who lived on the block at that time. For the last 6 years Mom has not missed a nativity event at the Stake, they even plan our family pre christmas dinner around it! I have found from my experience and what I've heard from others that if you do what you know you should, ignore the flak, and stick it out then hearts will be softened most times. If you wait for them to give approval then likely you will never get it. There are cases where you might have to choose between your eternal salvation or family. A former Home Teaching Companion when he joined his Uncle placed a death notice in the newspaper saying his nephew had died and refused to ever speak to him again. Remember Heavenly Father gave you agency to choose for yourself. Study it out in your mind with real intent, pray, then be guided by what inspiration you feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Generally_Me Posted October 13, 2009 Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 I too am going off the premise that it is parents/sibs not spouse/children. I am also going off the premise that you had (have?) a testimony the church is true, as you did your own research before converting. That being said, Why did you convert to a religion that you knew they wouldn't care for? Because you believed it? What has changed? What is more important to you, family or the testimony shared by the Holy Ghost? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneEternalSonata Posted October 13, 2009 Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 I am the only member in my family. When I joined the Church I received unkind comments and was shunned by my father. It was a very painful experience, but I never regretted it. Through my own growth and the softening worked upon my father's heart by the Lord, he now accepts my choice and no longer views me as following after the devil. He even considers the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints a good church now because he has seen it working in my life and sincerely tries to understand. Heavenly Father will bless us when we are faithful and trust in the promises he made with us at baptism. After all, we can only change our heart through the Holy Spirit, and the more Christike you live the more opportunity to have the Spirit in your life there is. That equates to giving your family another avenue to the Spirit through you whereby their hearts can be changed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alana Posted October 13, 2009 Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 My mom (step mother technically, but i love her so much) joined when she was 19 and her parents and sisters really were down on the church. From what I hear, it was hard for her. I will simply say I am eternally grateful for her testimony and bringing the gospel to my father and myself. The day we were sealed was wonderful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted October 13, 2009 Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 Well, I would think that you have to set boundaries with your family. How much access do they get in your personal life decisions? How much power do you allow their angry outbursts on what you feel is the right thing for you? I think that their behavior shows they love you. Perhaps you can disregard the delivery and concentrate on that. Perhaps the discussion could open up conversations where you can listen to their concerns and perhaps dispell myths or misconceptions they have in their thinking. I think you can listen to them and even express appreciation for caring about your wellfare. I am sure you are involving God in the problem solving. I am sorry this is hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted October 13, 2009 Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 Anyways, I am clearly old enough to make my own decisions, I have not been to church in years and want to go back real bad but no matter how much I talk to my family about it they are really against the idea and send a lot of anger at me about it.So, stop talking to them about it, and go to church. Why do you need their permission? You're an adult, yes?Are you still living with your parents? I suppose if they're footing your housing bill, they can attach whatever rules they like, but would they kick you out if you went to church?LM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamsandwizh Posted October 14, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 So, stop talking to them about it, and go to church. Why do you need their permission? You're an adult, yes?Are you still living with your parents? I suppose if they're footing your housing bill, they can attach whatever rules they like, but would they kick you out if you went to church?LMThanks everyone some good points made! And Yes I was talking about parents, brothers, etc. I am not married and no kids, and no I don't live at home anymore, we are all close though, myself and my twin brother are roommates and my parents, aunt, uncles, grandparents all live within 1 1/2 miles of each other and most of the rest of my family is in San Diego as well so we see each other very often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gramajane Posted October 14, 2009 Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 Hi-- quick answer is in a hymn-- "Do what is right, let the consequences follow..." I would suggest your express how sorry you feel that they are unhappy with your choice/decision, and that you hope they will change their minds-- if they see that you are becoming a better/kinder you-- some are worried that you might be "heavy" on them to convert too or be critical of the decisions they have made, are making in their lives (that maybe don't line up with righteousness in their OWN minds) yet-- I think if you "play devils advocate" and perhaps speak to all their possible objections- with love and humor letting them know that you love them MORE now-- and that you appreciate that they care for you-- and that (if you were ever to find the church is not true-- you would leave and they could say "I told you so". yet-- on the other hand-- if (when you stay true to your testimony you would appreciate their expecting that you are able to make choices for your own life now. Gods blessings on you and your family! Gramajane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladykemma2 Posted October 16, 2009 Report Share Posted October 16, 2009 Hi! So what's going on is I converted back when I was, I think 18 or 19 years old, I talked to the missionaries, I searched them out, not them finding me, lol, after doing a lot of research of many different religions online, decided this one looked to be the best for me. Anyways, converted, went to church several times, than got baptised, continued to attend through a decent part of my time in the military, anyways, to keep this short, I am out of the military, have been for a few years, live back home in San Diego.An issue from the start and is still an issue is my family is NOT ok with myself converting to mormon, now we were never raised with a religion or went to church so it's not like I am going against some family tradition or anything. Anyways, I am clearly old enough to make my own decisions, I have not been to church in years and want to go back real bad but no matter how much I talk to my family about it they are really against the idea and send a lot of anger at me about it. So any advice on how to handle that would be great...Thanks!stop talking about it with them. smile sweetly and go about your business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairChild Posted October 16, 2009 Report Share Posted October 16, 2009 Sometimes the best thing to do is do your best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairChild Posted October 16, 2009 Report Share Posted October 16, 2009 You got to remember that not everyone wil be pleased about everything you do. Just be the best person you can be and eventually, all the good will shine through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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