One Worthy/One Not Worthy To Be Married In The Temple

[Carl62]

I've always wondered what a couple is counseled to do when the one person is worthy to be married in the temple but the other one isn't? If they were to be told to wait, wouldn't that then be like "punishing" the one who is already worthy? What if the wait would go into years? How does the church go about making it that both parties can be happy under these circumstances?

[Just_A_Guy]

The Church isn't punishing anyone. The Church didn't make the one party indulge in prohibited behavior, or make the other party fall in love with someone who was indulging in said behavior.

The Church makes it possible for the parties to be "happy" by teaching repentance and faith in Christ Jesus.

The parties may, if they wish, achieve instant gratification by going through a civil ceremony first and going through the temple a year later.

[jadams_4040]

I've always wondered what a couple is counseled to do when the one person is worthy to be married in the temple but the other one isn't? If they were to be told to wait, wouldn't that then be like "punishing" the one who is already worthy? What if the wait would go into years? How does the church go about making it that both parties can be happy under these circumstances?

Its not the "churchs" decision, its all Gods commandments; not an authorities personal determination.:)

[annamaureen]

When I met my husband, he was not temple-worthy. He was not doing anything wrong at the time, simply moving on from past mistakes - he had been working his way towards it since before we met. He got a limited-use recommend several months before our marriage, and got his endowments several weeks before our marriage (ten months after we started dating.) Obviously it was not a very long wait. However, if it had been longer, I would've waited - as long as he was still making positive progress. If he had slipped back into old habits, even once, I would not have waited.

My bishop actually counseled me that I was a bright, pretty young woman, and I didn't have to "settle." I was quite offended by this! Obviously, this is just one person's counsel, and I can't tell you what anyone else might say.

Not sure if this was helpful at all. :)

[NeuroTypical]

Bishops are usually very happy to marry people civilly at a church, LDS or not. For example, the church sees a marriage as much more preferable than shacking up, and is happy to help people move from one level to the next.

Temple sealing is more than just a "we want both of us to be happy" thing. It is an agreement between three parties - the two individuals and God. It only happens when all 3 parties are fully capable of making the covenants and committments involved. When one (or both) of the individuals aren't quite there yet, then you wait.

LM

[Misshalfway]

I've always wondered what a couple is counseled to do when the one person is worthy to be married in the temple but the other one isn't? If they were to be told to wait, wouldn't that then be like "punishing" the one who is already worthy? What if the wait would go into years? How does the church go about making it that both parties can be happy under these circumstances?

I don't think its the job of the church to make everybody happy. And I think its a mistake to think that the churches position is the reason for the unhappiness that might be present in this situation.

Everyone in this scenerio still has choices. And the responsibility for those choices resides with them. There is still lots and lots of hope for these promised blessings but they have to be ready. Giving a higher covenant to an unprepared person is NOT kind nor will it result in happiness.

YOu know.....The person who sinned, could have chosen differently. And what if that person lied to the other or allowed false perceptions of the situation to persist? Maybe this was just time for these people to face some difficult truths. Something that is also a good thing.