Hello all :)

[Twisted_Fairytales]

Hello everyone, I am new to this site. I joined because I am having a very difficult personal problem that I am unsure what to do about and I can't discuss it with my family.

I am concerned about my sister in law being an unfit Mother. Both she and my brother in law have mental health issues. His is more controlled, although he ignores any problems or issues as a result as he can't cope with them. She has violent outbursts, is extrememly manipulative and she has been violent towards my brother in law before. I dont believe she has been violent towards my niece, but I believe she has munchausens by proxy, and I am concerned for my nieces mental, physical and emotional health as she grows up.

Does anyone here feel I have a case to report her to Child protection and family services? I am in a great amount of turmoil over this. Any input would be appreciated.

Thankyou all x

[FunkyTown]

I'm concerned as well, Twisted:

The first concern should always be for the childs welfare and if you think that you should go to Child Protection, by all means. However, I would recommend a couple of things:

1) Speak with your parents. They most likely have an opinion on this as well. Bring up your concerns in a loving, calm way and you will most likely get a better reaction.

2) Munchausen's by Proxy is an interesting diagnosis. While it gets a lot of playtime on television, from the show House to the movie The Sixth Sense. It's a controversial condition that some have said doesn't exist at all(Not mother's poisoning their children, which is documented, but MbP because MbP assumes a motive):

BBC NEWS | Health | Medical notes | Munchausen's Syndrome by Proxy

If you feel your sister-in-law is harming your child, it is your duty to protect the child in any way. I would caution you at diagnosing your sister-in-law, however, as it may get you to see things that aren't there.

[NeuroTypical]

If you have specific evidence or have witnessed specific behavior, then report her. You didn't really tell us what you've specifically seen, so we can't really tell you one way or the other. "I believe" and "I am concerned" are not facts or evidence...

I know that Munchausen by Proxy can be very difficult to prove.

Would you be willing to take the kids if the law decides something needs to be done? Not sure what happens in Australia...

LM

[Twisted_Fairytales]

Well, that is the problem, I have no evidence that she HAS harmed the child. I just know how she behaves and treats my brother in law and I am concerned she could pass it on to the child. I have no evidence whatsoever. I think you are right Funky town, I will speak with my parents about it as they are the opposite side of the family, and have no emotional attatchment. Of course, my husband and I would be more than willing to take the child-I am unsure what's done too, as I have no idea or experience with this sort of thing. I will speak with my parents and see what they think. When it's put in black and white, it doesn't look like I have a case I have prayed about it but haven't had a specific answer, but I still have a nagging feeling that the child will have problems growing up in their home.

[FairChild]

Start documenting each specific incident. Date, time, where, who and what happened. you don't need to be lengthy, just a few lines as each event occurs. If mom is abusing your niece's dad in front of her, that can be considered abuse in several states. Be careful how you proceed, because you don't want to lost contact with this child. As for having enough evidence to turn in a report of abuse, that will be up to you to decide. Prayers for you all.

[Twisted_Fairytales]

Thank you Fairchild. Thats a good idea to document it all. Thank you all!