Twisted_Fairytales

Ignore the sizing chart, they always come up at least 2 sizes too big. I'd go for a 20!petite and see how you get on.

So is a prayer saying sorry enough if you repent and feel truly sorry? Should you confess the crime? To the victim, the bishop?

Silhouette, I've never heard that before about scriptures on the floor. Seems slightly OTT. I keep mine on the floor next to my bed and so does dh, I don't know where else I'd keep them tbh.

I think you're referring to the preparing to enter the holy temple booklet. I think the phrase about lounging around in them is in there. I don't have a problem doing it, but I don't have as much respect for the garments as some.

I understand how hard this must be for you. But I can think of a lot worse things than your wife wearing tank tops and strapless dresses. I think things like this you really need to let go and concentrate on coming to an agreement on how you are going to manage this.

Is this something you'd need to speak with your bishop about? Could you take the sacrament, go to the temple etc? Or could you repent 'on your own' as it were?

I felt EXACTLY the same way Carter. All I can say is you need to address this issue somehow or it will get away at you and possibly get worse as far as the church goes. From what you've said I think gaining a testimony is the most important thing for you here. If you feel the Church is true and a mission is the right thing then go. That feeling will transcend your reservations about the temple. I've doubted for years and still have doubts, but I was so fed up that one day I prayed and begged God to tell me if the church was true so I could move forward in the church. I got that confirmation that the church wad where I needed to be. I still have questions as we all do but I can get over it a bit more now. This was almost 10 years in the making, believe me I've walked up and down that road 1000 times. Pm me if you want to ask me anything else.

We've had quite a rough year this year, it's been very hard. But a month ago we had a fire at home and now having to live with my Mom. It's definitely been one of the hardest things we've had to face but the fire didn't destroy the house, just the kitchen and most of our stuff is fine. We just have to wait for the house to be refurbished by the insurance company before we can move back. my attitude to life crises is to pick yourself up, dust yourself down and get on with it. I always see the positive and know that this arrangement isn't forever and things could be a lot worse. My dh however has struggled with it all and he is very down. I think he is overreacting to things and really pesimistic about life in general. He's always moaning about something, never seems to see the positives. He's always complaining he's tired yet goes to bed late aNd never rests when he can. He shouts at the boys unnecessarily and undermines my parenting, such as giving them dessert after I've said no just so they stop whining as he can't take it. I think he's depressed but he refuses to see a medic as he doesn't want 'happy pills' even though I've said they may not necessarily do that they will give him options. My step mom is a therapist and thinks he needs therapy which he's sort of agreed with, but he's so stubborn he's said he'll do it if and when HE chooses to. No more has been said about it and I know nothing will ever come of it. We're both fairly lacklustre with the church yet he's also refused to get a blessing. Hes also just turned down a calling. He moans and moans about so much but does nothing to change it. As a result of this I've just been letting him get on with it and focusing on our children who need me and a happy mommy more than ever. He's pulled me up on not being sympathetic to him and I do feel so bad that sometimes I have ignored him when I know he's needed me. I think it's because I've got so much on my plate that I don't feel I have anything left to give after tending to the boys and my own needs. I suffer anxiety and a phobia myself and he is mostly so supportive of me that I feel so guilty when i can't reciprocate. Why is that? But one person can only deal with so much. I've always been quite a direct person and he's more reserved and sensitive and those qualities in us seem to be clashing more than they ever have. This is the first time I've really felt this way, we've always had an amazingly strong marriage, but when things do crop up neither of us really knows how to deal with them and we usually just sweep them under the carpet and get on with things which I know is no good. Anyone have anything they can offer me? I'm fed up of feeling like I'm having to gee him up and hold his hand all the time. I could be having a lovely day with mom and the boys and sometimes hell come home and have me feeling low and depressed within minutes as he tears things down or paints such a bleak picture of our lives that sometimes i wish he hadnt come home which is awful if i try to speak to him about any of this he goes so introverted and starts beating himself up saying he is rubbish, useless etc very self pitying, not, ok what do we do to solve this? i do love him so much but I want him to be a little more self sufficient once in a while. Or is that expecting too much, as he does have a lot on his plate but no more than most men who work and provide for their family?

Thanks :)

Im after this scripture for my lesson on sunday, I know its in 1st or 2nd nephi, where he's saying that they have suffered so much, and so have their women in particular, 'even unto death' I think he says. Can anyone help?

That's the one!

There is actually a forum for members who's spouses have left their faith...Im desperately trying to think what its called, I will try and find out for you. I wish you good luck with your situation, I have no advice, sorry just the info on the forum I mentioned. Ill get back to you when Ive hopefully found it!

William, I think you need to relax a bit :) You cant spend your life feeling guilty, thats not what the church is about. If you saw something you'd rather not, just turn it off and dont look at it again.

THEIR happiness as they are obviously happy and do not share the same view. Perhaps some religions view us that way, bit it doesn't stop us from being happy or believing what we are doing is right.

Thankyou so much ldsvalley your words have really helped me and ill keep plodding on. Pondering on what youve said and thinking about my upcoming calling which is on RS pres i actually came over and felt really good, and the thought just came into my head, you know its true really. It just came from nowhere. So maybe its there deep own but i struggle to access it and maintain it, i like having a get out clause of not havjng to do things if i dont want to! Thats my personality though im like that in a lot of areas in my life, i run away if i cant fully commit to something.

I think it was brave of the person to bring it up at a wedding reception It is definitely a taboo in our church. I always hated being seen as the innocent little virgin before I got married then a more accepted 'woman' once I was married. I was quite uptight about sex before I got married too, if Im honest. It was always perceieved to be something that was off-limits, and 'bad'. It was never talked about as a good thing, even when it was talked about in a supposedly positive way, words like sacred, pro-creation etc didnt help me, it made it seem something that was to be done out of necessity, then kept quiet and not talked about. Ill admit it took me a while to feel completely comfortable with sex after we got married. I had to learn to relax and enjoy it which was hard after having it drummed into me for my entire life it was something I should NOT do to then all of a sudden be like. Ok, off you go now. It was a hard shift to make so suddenly and drasticaly even though I loved my husband. I think it should be talked about more often Kudos to the young women leader who bravely undertook a difficult task to talk to her YW about those matters We had something similar when I was in youth. Me and my close girlfriend in the church talk about sex a lot. Yes some things are private but in general terms I think its ok

Perhaps. Its a fair amount of responsibility tho so im being trusted with a lot. I suppose ill have to see how it goes.

Thanks =) ive just been given a calling but i dont know how ethical it is to accept it feeling the way i do, and acting how i do. LDSValley cid doing all the things you suggest get you your testimony?

My head is really messed up about how I feel about church. I just dont know what to do. I had some issues a few years ago and wanted to leave but stayed for my husband. Now I have two boys and felt happier about church and decided to give it another go for their sake. But im struggling with it. Im just not enjpying it atall. Prayers are routine, i always say the same things and never feel i get any answers. If anythjng I get the oposite of what I ask for which makes it worse so it feels like its better not to pray atall. I read my scriptures sometimes but it doesnt sink in and I have no real desire or motivation to do it. I like the ensign but all the stories in there just make me realkse what a rubbish member I am! We dont drink or anything but I dont feel were really living the gospel. None of our friends know were members as it just doesntcome up and id be embarassed if it did. I feel very uncomfoftable talking about the gospel with non members. Im having some therapy for a phobia but my therapist thinks its not really a lhobia but an anxiety disorder that has stemmed from a fear, and we thknk that fear is death. I really am scared of it and realise i have no idea what comes after if anything and that scares me. My fear has been put lntosomething else to make it more acceptable to me, i mean, members arent supposed to be scared of dying, were supposed to know and look forward to whats next. Yet, i cant let the church go completely. I dip my foot in and out like a yoyo and dont know why. Im not sure if its because its familiar, what i grew up with and im scared of an alternative that i dont know. Or do i have a testimony deep down? And if thats the case why do i fddl the way i do? I want the boys to be brought up in the church to have the security i felt as a teenager. And i dont want them drinking and smoking and theyre less likely to do so as a member. It would be good if they went on missions too. I know i cant 'serve tso masters' but ive been tl-ing and fro-ing so long and Im fed up of it. I just want one or the other but theres good sides to both that i cant let go of. Arggghh I just dont know what i believe or what to do.

I'm trying my best to do whats right in life and to make the right decisions but it feels as though nothing is going right for me and my life is falling apart. I'm actually getting really fed up and down trodden by all this and I'm feeling a bit low at times because of it. Last July we had a car accident-not serious but it wrote the car off We got a settlement and used it to buy a really nice family car. We were over the moon with it and hoped it would last us a while, only one owner from new etc. Barely 10 weeks later the engine went and it was basically un-reparable, We were gutted and did not have the money to get it fixed so are having to use a really old thing to get around that we cant fit our buggy and is too small, my sons feet kick the back of the drivers chair. Ever since then, its been one thing after another. I lost my job, then got another one but one that paid less. Id been praying for help to cope and what to do about things. We hadn't paid tithing for a while and I felt I was being told to pay it so I did, took it out of our rent money. I then got a letter saying I'd been overpaid and they were going to take money out of my monthly salary for the next 6 months to cover it I just cried when I got that letter. I just said aloud, to God, Why aren't you helping me?! Our camera, hard drive and computer have all broken within a week of each other and we cant afford to get them repaired because of the salary issue. We were all set to move house this year to a new, better area to bring up the boys Well now we can't do that as we are going to have to spend the money on a car instead and have a less income because of my job. I also feel I cant cope at home. The house is always disgusting I NEVER have time to clean so it mounts up and makes the place look like a sty. I feel depressed about it so get out the house a lot. I feel I cant cope with the children and I get so angry and frustrated with them. I seem to cry at everything and have started having panic attacks. Ive seen doctors and am having some tests done...There's been other things too like I almost broke my arm, we have been CONSTANTLY ill for the last 6 months, barely a week goes by where we are actually well. Im just trying my absolute hardest to do whats right and enjoy my life but now we cant live where we want, go where we want because of the car, do what we want because of the money,cant do the job I want...it just seems everything is going backwards and spiralling out of control and Im feeling very let down by the Lord. Where are all these blessings Ive been promised for paying tithing? Instead its got worse!!! Everytime Im having a rough day, I feel so angry that he isnt helping me. Why do things have to be so hard? I only want a good, simple life for my family and even the SMALLEST thing is becoming an absolute insurmountable task. Im just really not enjoying my life at the moment, everyday is just one to get through rather than enjoy. Ive never felt like this before and we have had rougher times than this. Its been such a crappy year, sorry.

My DH and I are not uber members iykwim. We go to church and do our callings but we dont read scriptures or have prayers, just a family prayer once a day. But Ive decided that I need to up the ante a bit when it comes to teaching the boys the gospel in the home, its my responsibility and if we are bringing them up in church then we have to go for it, so now is the time to make a few changes. Im not really sure how to encorporate the gospel into our day to day lives. Me and DH could go a few days without even speaking about something church related so I dont know how to suddenly do this with our sons who are 2 and 10 months. Ive started asking him things such as where does jesus live when we're out walking and pointing to the sky. We have a short scripture story every evening and a prayer. And Ive started to sing primary songs to them at bedtime which they LOVE. Id like to start doing a very short and basic FHE but DH thinks they are too young but I think its a good time as my older son is becoming extremely good at understanding things. A 10-15 minute one would do but I dont know where to start with it or what to do, and how to include my 10 month old, if atall? Im just not sure if Im doing enough, and if not what else?! Anyone have any ideas for me?

This may be a contraversial thing to say but apart from the general authorities I dont believe that ward level callings are 'revealed'. As has been previously said, theres usually only a handful of people who can do each calling. At first this bothered me but now Im happy with it. I think you can pray about it and get a feeling but I think that varies from person to person. My husband turned down a calling of EQP because he was casually asked if he fancied it or not rather than called officially in an office etc. So he turned it down. I think theres a good halfway between thne two.

Thanks for that. Everyone keeps telling me 'it will get easier'. Whilst I long for this to come true I dont want to wish their babyhood away :) Its just so very tough having an age gap this close I wouldnt recommend it!!!

Vort, I agree with your strategy however, the baby is 7 months old and my 2 year old hasnt sat still for longer than 10 minutes since he was born unless hes ill or asleep!! I have started to get him to sit reverently during sacrament which is progress but thats his limit at the moment. I hopefully can build on that as you suggested. How old are your kids? When did you start this strategy? I have always said I would do this myself but I didnt envisage doing it until they were a bit older. However, I know he understands what I tell him but I just cannot see him sitting still!! Yes my husband helps but he often teaches EQ so I have to have both kids during RS and he cant feed the baby. He obviously helos out during sacrament but its hard to try and concentrate on a talk knowing ur husband and toddler are running down the corridor!!