Advice on interrupters

[dizzysmiles]

interupt her. jk

[Guest mormonmusic]

Person 1: Knock Knock!

Person 2: Who's There?

Person 1: Interrupting Cow!

Person 2: Interrupting Cow ...[Person 2 is almost finished saying "Interrupting Cow Who", but not quite]

Person 1: MOO!

[Jamie123]

I've somehow acquired the habit of making a noise that sounds like "Chu! Chu! Chu! Chu!" whenever someone interrupts me, and going on until they let me continue. I don't know how this started. I've been doing it to my wife and stepdaughter, and now I've started doing it when students interrupt me. I need to break the habit somehow.

[Melissa569]

My husband struggles with this problem. He's just so hyper, he can't sit through someone else's entire sentence or statement! lol. Lots of other people get mad at him too for this. In many situations with people, HE does most of the talking, because others can't get a word in edgewise, lol.

Even when I am talking to one of my friends, he will suddenly cut me off and start telling my friend something, as if I weren't even there. And again, he does that to everybody.

I don't like to be a mullish wife, but I often find myself having no choice but to stick up for my (and everyone else's) right to speak. Others don't know my husband as well as I do, so they're not going to be nearly as blunt with their demand to finish what they were saying. So I have to stick up for them. When he cuts me, or someone else off, I just say,

"Shawn..." To let him know he's 'doing it again' (we've talked about it before). Or, Just "Hey..." or "Uh, excuse me..." . Then in the case of other people getting interupted, I say, "Shawn, he/she was talking." Then I look at the other person, and say, "Go ahead."

I know that sounds snotty, but nothing else works, lol.

I find its sometimes important to discover WHY the person does this. It helps you to understand them, and can sometimes make it easier not to get angry at them. And from there, you can figure out the best way to approach them about it. Usually, you can figure it out by looking at other areas of their behavior for signs of their inner nature. Its not always a simple matter of waiting their turn... It could be a lot of things:

* Arrogance-- The person thinking that what THEY have to say is more important or interesting than what anyone else has to say.

* Hyper energy-- Like my husband, they just get bored being silent and listening.

* Overly social-- They're just extremely involved with other people, and they feel the need to be VERY active in the conversation, constaly.

* Short-term memory-- Some people interrupt because they know that if they don't say what pops into their head RIGHT NOW, they will forget.

* Fear of fading into the background-- Some people are afraid they will be burried in the conversation if they don't break into it periodically. Which is true! But they simply are not not very good at judging when to do so.

* Unaware that a point is comming-- They may not be aware that you are gradually working up to make a point. Some people like to make their point right out the gate, and they just assume others do too, or expect it. So after the first few words, they figure its ok to interupt. Because if THEY were talking, their important point would have already been made.

Like I said, try to figure out which of those things it could possibly be.

True, all these people need to work on their social skills. For example, if they tend to forget what they were going to say, maybe they should keep a small notepad handy, and jot down a thought so that when its their turn, they won't have forgetten. Or maybe they need to take classes on social behavior.

But until they do, you're going to have to start calling them on it. Maybe by saying something that gives the hint you don't want to be interupted, like, "Before you say anything..." . If you're telling them a story, try saying, "Oh, this is good, you gotta hear this whole thing...". If that doesn't work, and they still interupt, you might just have to interupt them right back. Or just say, "Hey, you know I'm always your friend, but you tend to interupt me...."

Then there's the old "confirm and move on" trick. Tha'ts where every time they interupt you, you quickly confirm what they said, and continue on.

Edited April 30, 2010 by Melissa569