What would you do?

[pooter1]

My husband and I have been on church welfare for years off and on. We feel humilitated,worthless,and our self esteem is very low.I have been praying and praying for a job.My prayers were answered.I got a job where we can pay our bills and have money left over. The problem is.I have to work almost every weekend. I never see my husband or children. I hate the job. If I quit we go back on church welfare.I will feel worthless no matter what I do.What would you do?

[pooter1]

Almost forgot.The guilt of not going to church is KILLING me!!!!

[john doe]

That's a personal decision for the individual to make. You have to do what's right for you. Not attending church for long periods of time can be detrimental to your spirituality. But you have to balance that by the need to provide food, housing and clothing for your family. I suggest you discuss your choices with your bishop, and consider whatever counsel he might have for you. You should also be praying about this decision.

Personally, I made the decision to take a second job which forced me to work my share of Sundays. It helped financially, but I was happy to get to the point where I no longer had to do that and quit. I don't recommend it for people who are weak in their testimonies, you need to work extra hard to maintain your spiritual foundation throughout the week when you are not worshipping with others at church.

[pam]

What is wrong with me? I quit every job I get. I get mad at someone and I quit.I am feeling really low right now. I can't repair what I have done. Noone trusts me because I quit.I can't get another job anywhere because everyone knows I quit.Why can't I settle down. This last Job I quit was because I work more sundays then Im off and the guilt was killingme. Ive done this for 40 years.The panic attacks are killing me.Someone help!!!!!!! Do I need mental help

Interesting because in another thread (which I have quoted here) you said you quit that job because you have to work Sundays. Is that now ANOTHER job that requires you to work on Sundays?

Something is not quite right with the different stories in the threads.

Edited June 26, 2010 by pam

[Just_A_Guy]

Angel, if this has been your situation for *years*, and most of your monthly outlays are servicing existing debt--it may be time for you and your husband to talk to a bankruptcy attorney.

If I understood some of your other posts correctly--you don't have any kids living with you right now. Two people can live fairly cheaply as long as they're committed to living within their means and aren't buried under pre-existing debt.

[pooter1]

No its the same job I haven't quit yet.I keep going back and forth back and forth. aaggghhh It's driving me crazy.I feel guilt no matter what I do! I told you I needed help!

[pooter1]

In my mind Ive quit I just haven't told my employer yet.I was going to write a resignation letter and then stopped and thought "What if this happens?" "What if that happens" Ive told my superviser but it's not official till I write my resignation letter. Sorry if I confused you with the other post.

[not_ashamed]

I agree with John, its a very personal decision that should be made with lots of prayers along with the council of your bishop. I recently took a 3rd shift job that requires me to work wed- sun.Now my attendance at church is kinda hit and miss.sometimes I fall asleep as soon as I get home or can only seem to stay awake for sacrament. I had to after my husband was laid off because I hate asking for help from anyone, including the church. I would if needed but I try to avoid it.That being said, there is nothing wrong with using church welfare if it is needed. The program is there for a reason. Have you talked with your employer about maybe allowing you a sunday off a month? you may also want to consider actively looking for another job before quitting this one. Its always better to have new employment ready, takes the stress level down a notch.

Edited June 26, 2010 by not_ashamed

[Guest mormonmusic]

I'd use the time in the week to find a different job. Don't cut off your nose in spite of your face, as one Bishop mentioned. Take opportunities to attend other Church functions to keep up your spirituality when they come up, like evening firesides, do visiting or home teaching where you share a message, etcetera. That will help with your spirituality until you find a non-Sunday job.

Edited June 27, 2010 by mormonmusic

[FairChild]

It's like any problem. Do the best you can with the resources that you have. You have a job that requires you to work on Sunday. On Sunday, do the best possible job at work that you possibly can. During your time off during the week, look for better employment and work on your spiritual self. We aren't a Sunday morning church. Do what you want all week long and behave at church on Sunday morning. We all have challenges (helps create opprotunies for growth), this one just happens to be yours. Take care. FC

[pooter1]

I have a chance to go to another job Monday thru Friday it just doesn't pay as much as the one I have now.

[pooter1]

Also I am Primary Pres.I asked my Bishop if he wanted to release me and he said No that God called me to that position and he wasn't releasing me.I can only go to churchn1 sunday a month. It is apparent I don't feel good about this job.I have an opportunity to go back to my old job Mon.-Fri it just doesn't pay as much as the one I have now. Didn't sleep last night.Anxiety attacks all night.Im just gonna quit and go back to my old job and keep paying my tithing and trust that god will provide. Right?

[pam]

I think that's a good way to think of it. At least you won't have the guilty feelings of missing church which would be good for you.

[john doe]

Also I am Primary Pres.I asked my Bishop if he wanted to release me and he said No that God called me to that position and he wasn't releasing me.I can only go to churchn1 sunday a month. It is apparent I don't feel good about this job.I have an opportunity to go back to my old job Mon.-Fri it just doesn't pay as much as the one I have now. Didn't sleep last night.Anxiety attacks all night.Im just gonna quit and go back to my old job and keep paying my tithing and trust that god will provide. Right?

No one here can give you authoritative answers as to what is right for you. You do what is best for you, through personal revelation and counsel with your bishop. We don't know you, and we don't have priesthood authority to receive inspiration for you, we are a bunch of faceless names behind computers. All we can do is tell you what we have found works, or has worked, for us. Some people have to work on Sunday for a period of time. Some people find ways to avoid that. The preference is to avoid that, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

A man in my ward recently quit his job as a seminary teacher to become a State Trooper, which requires him to work many Sundays. He's doing what he has to do to provide for his family. I'm sure he has to work exponentially harder to retain the spirituality he swam in when he taught seminary. That does not mean that every seminary teacher should be a cop. As the saying goes, 'your mileage may vary'. Do what is right for you and your family, not what some faceless person on the internet says you should do. Consult with the Lord and your priesthood leaders who have jurisdiction over you in making these kinds of decisions.

[FairChild]

"Also I am Primary Pres.I asked my Bishop if he wanted to release me and he said No that God called me to that position and he wasn't releasing me." Were you asking to be released or asking if the bishop wanted to release you? Those are 2 very different requests.

Take very good care of yourself both physically and mentally. Eat as healthily as you can and get enough sleep as well. If you have things that you do that release stress, do them.

It sounds as if you are working as hard as you can to fix this situation. Feeling guilty is not helping you reach any of your goals and is probably hindering you as you are struggling to gain the life you want. Please give yourself permission to feel OK about this. Write down the steps, resources and aid you need to change your circumstances.

You are providing for your family in the best way that you can at this stage of your life. Please remember that this is only a stage, a small portion of your life and that the good things that you are and do say a great deal more about you than you being a person that works on Sundays.

[rameumptom]

I would keep the job and work it. Then, I would make plans for the future. I would have my husband or me also go to college. There are many great possibilities here. A 2 year school for physical therapist or xray technician can make for a good income, and can get you off of weekends (or at least some weekends).

Quit thinking short term, and start thinking long term. Make the sacrifice now, because you didn't do it in the past, and if you keep putting it off, you will never have the kind of job that will do more than pay the bills and keep you working weekends.

[not_ashamed]

I thought I would share with you a quick story. I joined the church when I was 15, I never asked my husband to. I was completely inactive until about 5 years ago when some missionaries showed up at my doorstep. I invited them in for a glass of water, it was summer and scorching hot outside. My husband was in the kitchen and asked who I had invited in. I told him and he went and introduced himself. He liked the missionaries and began taking the lessons. Not long after, he decided he wanted to join the church. However at the time I was working Sundays and he didn't want to go without me. I was a waitress and as most people know with that type of job you work Sundays. Period. We just didn't know how we could possibly make it without my income. Bills were already behind and things were a struggle with 3 kids.

Then one day he says to me, i've been praying and I think you should tell them you can no longer work Sundays. I thought he had lost his mind. It was inevitable I would lose my job and we needed that money. He said I really feel like this is the right thing to do. So I went to work, told them I could no longer work Sundays and lost my job.

My husband was soon after baptized into the church and amazingly we never missed a penny of that money. We paid our tithing faithfully and somehow ended up having our bills paid on time with money to spare. Not a lot mind you but we had what we needed.

sorry for such a long post but I felt like it was relevant to the situation.

[pooter1]

Thank You Not Ashamed your reply meant a lot to me. There is no going back now.I told my superviser and my boss and I wrote a regnation letter.When I went to church yesterday and walked into sacrement meeting I knew right then and there that I had to quit my job. Thanks for all the help and replys.