So where do I go from here?

[yorkiebeebs]

My husband isn't ready to attend a service with me and I think he would be hurt if I started attending by myself. So how does a person go forward.

I've read other posts where people mentioned volunteering before they were members. What can you do as a non member?

I want to start paying tithe to the ward where I attend the RS classes. I guess I'm kind of at a loss as to where do I go from here. What's the process when you can't actually join the church yet? I would love to feel like I'm a part of the group but I'm not.

Any advice or what has your experience been?

[Wingnut]

My husband isn't ready to attend a service with me and I think he would be hurt if I started attending by myself.

Have you asked him if he minds if you go alone?

I've read other posts where people mentioned volunteering before they were members. What can you do as a non member?

What do you mean "volunteering"? I'd like to clarify what you mean before trying to answer that.

I want to start paying tithe to the ward where I attend the RS classes.

Technically, I don't think you're allowed to pay tithing until after you've been baptized. Check with your local bishop, though.

I guess I'm kind of at a loss as to where do I go from here. What's the process when you can't actually join the church yet? I would love to feel like I'm a part of the group but I'm not.

As long as your husband doesn't mind you going, just go! Attend church and activities. Let others get to know you, and get to know them. Build a network and a support group!

[UrbanFool]

My volunteering was at the canneries and Bishop's Storehouse. One week I was sick and sent my husband in my place and he had a great time heaving 40 pound bags around and dumping them into #10 cans. The women loved him.

We also volunteered for Helping Hands, and would have participated in anything that came up, actually. You learn about those opportunities in the Priesthood meetings, or the Relief Society.

We also started tithing before we were baptized, just because I believe in supporting your local church. We tithed for at least a month before being baptized. Nobody told us we shouldn't or couldn't.

We started going to church fairly early on in the missionary process. Has he gone at all to see what it's like? Before baptism, I wasn't so sure about the sacrament meetings, but I got a whole lot out of the Gospel Principles class and the women in Relief Society were wonderful. I know the Priesthood guys made Larry really comfortable and after about our 3rd time, they stopped referring to us as "investigators."

Our home teacher joined the church 15 years after his wife. She had no problems going to church without him, and when he was ready he started going with her, and then there came a time that he decided he was going to join as well.

For us, it turned out that I was waiting for Larry because I didn't want to be pushy, and he was waiting for me because I've been pretty anti-religious for most of our marriage, so when we finally got our stuff together, we got baptized.

Maybe if you told him "I'm ready and I'd really like to go to a service", he'll see the value in that. I can't see why he'd be hurt by that.

Edited July 14, 2010 by UrbanFool

[ADoyle90815]

I don't get why someone would object to someone tithing before officially becoming a member, as from what I understand, it's one thing a believer would do. It shows that someone is being baptized by their own free will, or agency and that they are willing to show their faith. To me, that's better than someone being baptized before they know what they're getting into, simply because the missionaries asked them to set a date right away, as I would guess that the convert who pays tithing before they're baptized is more likely to remain active. That's just my non-LDS opinion on this issue.

[Elgama]

we have had dry Mormons who paid their tithing - you can place it under donations. But would check with your Bishop. There is nothing stopping you for example have a non religious Family Home Evening etc

[Wingnut]

I don't get why someone would object to someone tithing before officially becoming a member, as from what I understand, it's one thing a believer would do. It shows that someone is being baptized by their own free will, or agency and that they are willing to show their faith. To me, that's better than someone being baptized before they know what they're getting into, simply because the missionaries asked them to set a date right away, as I would guess that the convert who pays tithing before they're baptized is more likely to remain active. That's just my non-LDS opinion on this issue.

It's not so much that non-members are discouraged from paying tithing, but that I believe they are actually not allowed to. The conflict primarily is a record-keeping and accounting one. As a missionary, I taught people who wanted to start paying tithing as soon as we taught them about it. In one case, I met a woman who was so ready for the Gospel that after our second visit with her, she hopped online and started doing her own research, being careful to weed out anti-LDS junk. Between our second and third visits, she threw out all the coffee in her house and stopped sleeping with her boyfriend, despite the fact that we hadn't yet taught her about the Word of Wisdom or the Law Chastity. Eventually she read about tithing (again, before we taught her about it), and promptly wanted to pay. The branch president told us she couldn't, so instead she began counting out 10% of her increase and setting it aside. After she was baptized she began to pay tithing, including paying on any money she had earned since the time she first learned about tithing.

[UrbanFool]

Well they certainly cashed our checks! We also added the fast offering on Fast Sundays, and donated money for the girls to go camping and the boys to do... some boy thing. I don't know how they did the bookkeeping on that.

[yorkiebeebs]

My friend is a member and she attends the ward that I am interested in paying the tithe. She got the envelopes for me and said that it isn't a problem to pay tithe. She will talk to the bishop if he has any questions. I met him once at one of our meeings (he was the speaker) and he knows that we are friends and that I attend the group.

[Cassiopeia]

I think you should attend church even if your husband isn't ready to go with you. If he feels uncomfortable or hurt, have a talk with him. Reassure him that your love for him isn't contingent upon him coming with you and that he won't lose you.

[Boris_natasha]

I don't get why someone would object to someone tithing before officially becoming a member, as from what I understand, it's one thing a believer would do. It shows that someone is being baptized by their own free will, or agency and that they are willing to show their faith. To me, that's better than someone being baptized before they know what they're getting into, simply because the missionaries asked them to set a date right away, as I would guess that the convert who pays tithing before they're baptized is more likely to remain active. That's just my non-LDS opinion on this issue.

I thought I was the only person who the missionaries rushed to set a baptism date. I was baptized as a child. Anyway, I currently know several women who attend church without their husband.