Need advice about telling former members and anti mormons, i'm back in the church

[sarahJane]

Hi All

Advice needed

I've just returned to the church, i'm thinking.. Do I should tell those I know who are ex members and active in anti mormon "ministries" , that I have returned to the church?, or keep quite, as they are the ones who originally influenced me to leave?

I don't want to put myself in a situation I am not ready to handle. But also I don't want to keep my return to the church secret from them either.

A great number of people I have been friends with over the last 10 years are in this catagory, they will become aware that I have returned from other people eventually,( I know that there are some less active members of my ward who are in contact with them.)

I think it may be best if they heard it from me, and I didn't appear to be hiding it from them. I hope there may be others out there who are thinking of returning to the church that may be helped and encouraged by knowing others have returned.

Do I give myself some time, or go ahead and tell everyone now?

I am not around other church members during the week,I'm very much on my own, but I see people every day who would try and get me to leave the church if they were aware I'd gone back.

I'm very aware of my weaknesses, and my testimony is very new but growing. Hence my hesitation.

If anyone has any thoughts on this, any advice, I would be grateful.

Thanks

[gabelpa]

Is it really any of their business? I don't think it is right, or proper to actively try to alter someone's system of belief. This is what they will do if you tell them. Sometimes, people just need to shut their mouth when religion or lack thereof comes up.

[miztrniceguy]

Why do you need to say anything?

[NeuroTypical]

I don't understand the reasoning behind the question. Why would you tell people? Do you have close relationships with them, and both of you share important details of your lives? Do you want to tell someone you think they're wrong? Do you want to now defend the faith with people who will argue with you? What do you want to accomplish?

If you answer that, you'll probably have your answer on who to tell and who not to tell.

[Wingnut]

Is it really any of their business? I don't think it is right, or proper to actively try to alter someone's system of belief. This is what they will do if you tell them. Sometimes, people just need to shut their mouth when religion or lack thereof comes up.

I mostly agree with this statement, but when we send missionaries out, aren't we effectively "actively try[ing] to alter someone's system of belief[?]"

Just a little food for thought.

For the OP, I'm with those who say "why do you need to tell them?" Also, if you're concerned that these people would be a destructive influence in your life, why do you continue to deliberately associate with them?

[Guest mormonmusic]

AS someone who left for a while, I wanted people to know I went back so they knew I believed it and supported the Church. If they thought I left because I disagreed with it, this would be ANOTHER indication to them the Church was wrong. I also felt I'd validated their beliefs the Church wasn't what is says it is, by leaving for a while. By indicating I was back again, I felt I was strenthening the perception that there ARE good reasons for being a member of the Church, and that I DID have testimony, and that I DID believe it was true...

However, the people I shared this with were my natural family, who were non-members and disagreed with the Church. I didn't see them often, and my wife was a member, so I had strength and support. So, my situation was different.

For you -- I'd hold off if you think they might start attacking your testimony and commitment, and if you think you might leave as a result. Your activity and testimony comes first -- protect and preserve that through all means possible.

If you are about to leave the circumstances where you see those people (for example, because they are at work and you're taking a new job), then tell them at that time so you don't have to face the onslaught from them any longer.

Regarding being authentic. REcognize you're never totally authentic in your life. Biting your tongue is part of being a wise person You don't share deeply personal matters in your life with just anyone, even if they have conversation which broaches the subject, so make a choice to treat your spiritual and religious preferences the same way until you're ready to share them -- if you ever are.

[slamjet]

It's your life. What in the world does anyone's opinion of it have to do with anything? If they think wrong of you, if they want to tear you down, you're hanging with the wrong people. Better to be alone than with them.

Learn to ignore them like one learns to ignore screaming children. It's about the same tone and tenor. And if they try to drive home their point, tell them to shove off. Who are they to control you're thoughts, opinion, acts, etc? Are they not going against their beliefs and taking away your free agency and choice? They're the hypocrites. Treat them as such. Dump them in the garbage where they belong.

Yea, I feel strongly about this. Now go get some courage and live your life the best way you can, the most ethical way you can. Screw everyone else.

[Roseslipper]

Hello and ty for your post. First I want to let you know that I someone you dont even know is very happy that your back in the church. Congradulations! I wish you much happiness and joy. Second it is better to stay away from people that put you down and dont accept you for who and what you are, and what you beleive. It is much better to make friends and hang around people who you have things in common with, people who are positive and people who will help you grow Spiritually, if we grow spiritually every thing alse will fall into place. Sure life may at times seem hard or even harder. BUt you have a support family. Your Ward, your counsels, your Bishop, Your Relief Society Sisters. We all come from different walks, different sitautations, but who cares, we have faults and weakness, but we have something special that should bond us together. The gospel. Please dont make the mistake and think people in the church are perfect, cause they are not. Welcome to the site, looking forward to getting to know you.

[rameumptom]

Just post it on Facebook or on Twitter. That way you don't have to go into the lion's den to let people know. They will find out in their own time. Those who are true friends will wish you well. All the others, well, you didn't want to continue relationships with them anyway....

[Faded]

Hi All

Advice needed

I've just returned to the church, i'm thinking.. Do I should tell those I know who are ex members and active in anti mormon "ministries" , that I have returned to the church?, or keep quite, as they are the ones who originally influenced me to leave?

I don't want to put myself in a situation I am not ready to handle. But also I don't want to keep my return to the church secret from them either.

A great number of people I have been friends with over the last 10 years are in this catagory, they will become aware that I have returned from other people eventually,( I know that there are some less active members of my ward who are in contact with them.)

I think it may be best if they heard it from me, and I didn't appear to be hiding it from them. I hope there may be others out there who are thinking of returning to the church that may be helped and encouraged by knowing others have returned.

Do I give myself some time, or go ahead and tell everyone now?

I am not around other church members during the week,I'm very much on my own, but I see people every day who would try and get me to leave the church if they were aware I'd gone back.

I'm very aware of my weaknesses, and my testimony is very new but growing. Hence my hesitation.

If anyone has any thoughts on this, any advice, I would be grateful.

Thanks

Above all else, WELCOME BACK!!

It does sound like you're more or less answering your own question. You're afraid that the people you encounter every day that have strong anti-Mormon opinions are going to more or less bully you into leaving again. While you are still feeling weak and vulnerable, it may not be the time to stand up and paint a target on your chest. That is what it sounds like you're feeling right now.

I would focus on building yourself up again. If you have any choice in the matter, don't associate with those people anymore. But if it can't be avoided -- like if they're coworkers or family members -- then the best course is to build up your testimony and defenses. Ultimately, you want to become fearless in standing up and being counted. You may want to put off confrontation to a future point in time, but especially if you've no choice in your association with them, the confrontation will come eventually.

What sort of tactics did they use to get you to doubt the reality of the Restored Church of Jesus Christ? Perhaps by having an answer to the things they're likely to try, you can be better prepared in the future.

[jayanna]

I agree, don't contend with anyone, don't even open up a conversation about it. If someone asks merely say, yes, and leave it at that. If they demand an answer, simply say, I prayed and received an answer.

If a huge debate starts, leave. Nobody wins. Just be joyful, and let them see the happiness the gospel brings to your life.