cdakotab Posted February 22, 2006 Report Share Posted February 22, 2006 Hey, I'm new. I'll tell you a little bit about myself so you kind of get the picture. I'm 16 and a mum, my son is 3months old today and I'm not with the father. Well I've been going to church every Sunday since September and I'm going to be getting baptised on the 11th of March. I have decided that I wouldn't want to date outside the church but will anyone want me even though I'm a mum? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom_of_jcchlsm Posted February 22, 2006 Report Share Posted February 22, 2006 That's a tough one, Charlotte. The answer is yes, but he won't be easy to find. Right now you have your hands full with the new baby, and I hope this doesn't sound patronizing, but you probably still have a lot of growing up to do. Wait until you are old enough to reasonably date returned missionaries - say when you're 20-ish. You will have a better handle on your life by then, your faith will be more secure, and you'll be dating quality potential husbands. Between now and then, focus on making good female friends in the Church - possibly other young mothers. Also go out with groups of young adults. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdakotab Posted February 22, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2006 Well thanks for your advice, but I think I'll just date people outside the church then, I'm waiting until the end of my exams (so a few months) before I start dating again but I do realise people in the church won't accept me at the moment and I'm not waiting til I'm 20 because I don't get on well with girls so I would end up completely lonely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Moonshadow Posted February 23, 2006 Report Share Posted February 23, 2006 Marriage takes time and maturity. Without it, it is extremely difficult. Having a child and not having a father is also something difficult, but you want to be married for time and all eternity, don't you? To have your child to be sealed to you? If you can't get along with girls, then it's less likely you'll get along with a husband. What's important right now is that you get back on track. Some won't accept you because they are blargh, but it's about accepting and obeying God's commandments, not who likes you. If you want a good home for your child, you must be the best mother you can and by going to church, waiting, and really growing, you'll be able to provide a better home for that child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdakotab Posted February 23, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2006 Marriage takes time and maturity. Without it, it is extremely difficult. Having a child and not having a father is also something difficult, but you want to be married for time and all eternity, don't you? To have your child to be sealed to you? If you can't get along with girls, then it's less likely you'll get along with a husband. What's important right now is that you get back on track. Some won't accept you because they are blargh, but it's about accepting and obeying God's commandments, not who likes you. If you want a good home for your child, you must be the best mother you can and by going to church, waiting, and really growing, you'll be able to provide a better home for that child.I'm a very good Mum and I'm not talking about marriage, just dating. Also the not getting on with girls has nothing to do with me not getting on with lads. I try really hard to get on with girls but they don't like me because I'm not like them, but I get on really well with lads, nearly all my friends are lads. Oh and the father not being around has nothing to do with me. I would have stayed with him but he split up with me once he found out I was pregnant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbay Posted February 23, 2006 Report Share Posted February 23, 2006 How do you figure that people in the Church won't accept you? The Savior taught we are to love everyone. Remember him and the woman who was going to be stoned? He told her to go her way and sin no more. I guess I don't understand your reasoning for throwing in the towel and deciding to date outside of the church. Why would you be baptized and then put yourself in harms way by dating outside of your faith. You might as well shoot yourself in the foot. Pray about this. You will know the Lord's will. And if any members don't accept you then the sin is on thier shoulders. WE are not to judge. If push comes to shove, you could move here to my branch where we welcome anyone with open arms because you are our sister anad your son, our brother. I wish you all the best. B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdakotab Posted February 23, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2006 Thankyou for your post, and I will pray about it but I would date in or out of the church because there are still some good people who aren't the same religion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stellati Posted February 24, 2006 Report Share Posted February 24, 2006 Thankyou for your post, and I will pray about it but I would date in or out of the church because there are still some good people who aren't the same religion.Yes, do pray! Also understand the joining the church is a life long committment, not just a spur of the moment thing. Also become acquainted and follow the teachings of the prophet and the apostles, in those sacred writings and the scriptures and praying, you'll know what to do. Also, you may want to talk to the missionaries who are teaching you about this question. They'll probably be able to give you some pretty good sound advice, I'm sure they've been asked similar questions before. Oh yeah, Char, don't give up so easily, one of the most fundamentally important aspects of the church is the teaching of enduring to the end. It may not be easy but, it will be worth it! Anything you set your mind to, you can do! Since you have access to the computer check out the church website! www.lds.org. There are some awesome talks there and you can search by topic, speaker, date, time anything!!! Also, take a good look at the strength of youth pamplet, it give great sound advice too. Oh yeah, when you get baptized, you should consider getting your patriarchal blessing, I can tell you from personal experience getting that and reading it often is one reason I'm still active in the church. sorry this is so long but, don't give up! Keep searching!!!! The lord loves you and the churh is true!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdakotab Posted February 24, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2006 Thanks for your comment. I am aware that it is a life long commitment, I have been going to church on and off all my life but since September started going every Sunday and then the day of my son's blessing I got up and spoke and it was then it hit me, I was in the right place, I was meant to be here. Then I thought it over for a week and on my way home from the gym I bumped into two missionaries from my ward and I asked them if they (or the other missionaries) would start teaching me because I want to be baptised and they were over the moon lol. So now I've been having the missionaries come round and teach me and the feeling of knowing this is right gets stronger and stronger. I kind of went off topic a bit then but ah well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acez Posted March 4, 2006 Report Share Posted March 4, 2006 man thats cool....good own you.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gilvisto Posted March 5, 2006 Report Share Posted March 5, 2006 Don't give up hope, mi'dear... Do all you can, and ask for the rest (from God or from others). Once you get baptized, I would reccomend you get your patriarchal blessing... it's a special blessing that is kind of like your own personal book of scripture, and it is specifically for YOU. It can help you know what it is you're supposed to do. Just a suggestion (and you have to be baptized first), ask the missionaries about it. -Val out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh M Posted March 5, 2006 Report Share Posted March 5, 2006 Since you are just looking to date right, I am sure there are many LDS guys out there who would go on a group date with you. If you try and live the gospel as best you can and strive to do what is right im sure alot of young men would. Sadly there are some young men out there who arnt the best in the LDS church but your better off without them untill they change...or if they change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebomb7652000 Posted March 30, 2006 Report Share Posted March 30, 2006 Good luck i wish the best for you and your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 ...Why would you be baptized and then put yourself in harms way by dating outside of your faith. You might as well shoot yourself in the foot...I disagree with Sugarbay here. I doubt that dating a non-member sounds as evil as Sugarbay wants you to believe.You sound like an open-minded person Charlotte. I'm positive there are good LDS & non-LDS fellas out there that would be interested in dating you. You are after all only 16 and even though a mother, there are probably just as many open-minded fellas that would find your maturity and life experience facinating. A fella doesn't have to be LDS to be a good catch, use your good judgement when dating.M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenRaines Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 As you grow in the church and gain greater knowledge you will find that most likely you will want to marry in the temple. You cannot marry a non member in the temple. You should not marry someone and hope or expect that they will convert at a later date so you can go to the temple. While there are people that have the odds are not all that good. As I have told my three daughters. Date who you wish but don't be suprised if you fall in love with someone who cannot take you to the temple if you do. Ben Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdakotab Posted April 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 Thanks for everyone's comments, they are all very helpful. I am finally baptised now, I was baptised on the 11th March. It was amazing, I loved it. The missionary that baptised me was perfect for the job. I had 2 missionaries and made them flip a coin for who baptises me And the missionary that baptised me at first I was is this the right one but I trusted him and it turned out to be the right person because I didn't feel nervous then, does any of that make sense ? lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebomb7652000 Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Well good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
begood2 Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Thanks for everyone's comments, they are all very helpful. I am finally baptised now, I was baptised on the 11th March. It was amazing, I loved it. The missionary that baptised me was perfect for the job. I had 2 missionaries and made them flip a coin for who baptises me And the missionary that baptised me at first I was is this the right one but I trusted him and it turned out to be the right person because I didn't feel nervous then, does any of that make sense ? lolCharlotte,I'm happy for you! My baptism was a very special day for me that I will always remember. Best Wishes! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stellati Posted April 10, 2006 Report Share Posted April 10, 2006 Thanks for everyone's comments, they are all very helpful. I am finally baptised now, I was baptised on the 11th March. It was amazing, I loved it. The missionary that baptised me was perfect for the job. I had 2 missionaries and made them flip a coin for who baptises me And the missionary that baptised me at first I was is this the right one but I trusted him and it turned out to be the right person because I didn't feel nervous then, does any of that make sense ? lolCONGRATS!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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