losing touch

[santowalker09]

greetings all, I am new to the site, and am overwhelmingly happy to have found an actual positive lds forum site. well i guess i came looking for support. being a RM in 2009 to being sealed in the temple to my beautiful wife in 2010. I however feel that i am losing a little of what i once had. with both work and school consuming my time, i haven't been to church in 4 months. I am the secretary for the YM in my ward and feel i am giving them a bad example.. I always put the lord first in everything before my mission and before my sealing. the past 8 months have been overwhelmingly difficult and depressing as my wife and I struggle just to eat everynight i mean i was promised all these blessings on my mission, my wife is all the blessings i need, but honestly things are getting harder... i guess im just looking for some reassurance, and support, and friends as i have little time for them now-a-days also. thanks for anything.

thanks,

Ty

[bytebear]

Sounds like you need a balance between work and life. I think we've all been there. Figure out what your priorities are when you are not working, and make sure they happen. That may mean forcing yourself to do chores on Saturday when you want to just relax, or it may mean turning off the TV (and computer) and spending time doing more important things.

Oh, and welcome.

[Guest]

greetings all, I am new to the site, and am overwhelmingly happy to have found an actual positive lds forum site. well i guess i came looking for support. being a RM in 2009 to being sealed in the temple to my beautiful wife in 2010. I however feel that i am losing a little of what i once had. with both work and school consuming my time, i haven't been to church in 4 months. I am the secretary for the YM in my ward and feel i am giving them a bad example.. I always put the lord first in everything before my mission and before my sealing. the past 8 months have been overwhelmingly difficult and depressing as my wife and I struggle just to eat everynight i mean i was promised all these blessings on my mission, my wife is all the blessings i need, but honestly things are getting harder... i guess im just looking for some reassurance, and support, and friends as i have little time for them now-a-days also. thanks for anything.

thanks,

Ty

Hiya Ty!

Yeah, we all go through those periods... like, for example, after 4 years of being married, my husband felt very blessed that I got baptized LDS (you know those pressures of marrying in the temple and all that - my husband didn't do that but he felt strongly that he would be ok). Anyway, he was super strong in the church, I was too. We started paying full tithes and everything was hunky dory and then wham! My husband lost his job a month before our baby was born, the week after we got sealed in the temple.

Yeah, it was very faith shaking.

But, we kept trudging on, keeping our covenants. Sometimes we couldn't pay tithe because we felt we had to pay the mortgage because our baby needs a roof over his head... we pray and pray and hope for forgiveness.

My husband got a job 4 months later and we could breathe again. We continue to trudge on, just doing what we promised to do in our covenants in the best of our ability... sometimes it doesn't make sense, but we just do it anyway.

Now, 10 years later, I look back to that time and I can see very clearly how that great challenge we went through made us (especially me) stronger! I can look back to that time and honestly say, "If I can overcome that test of faith, I can overcome most anything!"

So yeah, welcome to the site and hope you find some comfort here.

[skippy740]

I'm going to give you some bad news.

Are you ready?

There's nothing in the gospel that says that once you're baptized (or serve a mission) that you'll live forever in the "Garden of Eden" - no pain, no stress or no pressures.

If things are truly bad (and only you can judge that), talk with your Bishop. Even a small food order may help ease some things for a little while.

In the meantime, it's all about priorities. (Yeah, I know... you've heard it all before.) Well, try me on this one.

WRITE down everything on your mind. Don't type it. Write it down on paper.

Now look at your list.

Doesn't look so bad now, does it?

Writing things out really helps your mind to become clearer and to begin to attack the areas one at a time.

Some things, you may need to practice "creative or purposeful procrastination". These are things that you want to do, and think you have to do... but aren't really that important. So you can wait on them until you no longer feel it "necessary".

I also recommend that you read the book "Getting Things Done". Great way to help you organize your life at work and at home.

[santowalker09]

Well of course things aren't going to be hunkydorey, I wouldn't expect that, i expect to work hard for my blessings and of course try to balance in some fun and leisure. but it just doesn't seem to be a possiblity for the next few weeks. the advice is very much appreciated though, having not been keeping up on my reading and prayer... the simple little things i used to get mad at my investigators for not doing. but im glad theres a site like this out there. I have seen some horrible bigotry lately on the internet and other sources of media. and this is a nice change.

[hahnsmith]

Study your scriptures daily. You were stronger on your mission because you were doing the things you were supposed to do. Daily scripture study (not just reading) is a window to heaven.

Harold B Lee said, "If we are not reading the scriptures daily, our testimonies are growing thinner..."

"Testimony isn't something you have today, and you are going to have always. A testimony is fragile. It is as hard to hold as a moonbeam. It is something you have to recapture every day of your life."

And ask for help. Allow others to be blessed for serving you when you need it.

[santowalker09]

And ask for help. Allow others to be blessed for serving you when you need it.

too true, i guess this is my weak point right now. never really having dealt with times of need, i've been trying to fix everything myself. having always been taught by my righteous father to focus on helping others. I learned to do that very well as a child, but never learned to receive help.

[hahnsmith]

I know the feeling. It is harder to ask for help than to give help.

[beefche]

Well of course things aren't going to be hunkydorey, I wouldn't expect that, i expect to work hard for my blessings and of course try to balance in some fun and leisure. but it just doesn't seem to be a possiblity for the next few weeks. the advice is very much appreciated though, having not been keeping up on my reading and prayer... the simple little things i used to get mad at my investigators for not doing. but im glad theres a site like this out there. I have seen some horrible bigotry lately on the internet and other sources of media. and this is a nice change.

There is a time and season for all things. There are times when job/profession is going to be demanding and so family/church may suffer a bit. There are times when family issues will demand more time and attention and thus, work/professional and church will be less focused on.

The point I'm making is, the Lord knows that we have important things that demand our time and attention--and these come in waves. He has told us that the things that will help us the most are the little things--scriptures, prayer, worship. The important thing is you and your wife MUST be on the same page about it. Having "companionship inventory" with your spouse is important so you both understand that for the next few weeks, trips to the park may not be possible.

[JudoMinja]

One of the funny things about God's blessings is that they usually come in disguise. Sometimes it seems like the better we do at living the commandments, the harder life gets. This is because challenges help us grow and become stronger, as long as we remember to keep turning to the Lord for help with those challenges. When we stop turning to him, we become overwhelmed and start falling apart. I remember when things got harder for me, I would always fall back on that scripture that tells us we will not be given anything we cannot handle. I actually read that scripture again recently and noticed something in it that I never had before:

Alma 13:27 "Watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear"

There is a condition on not being given more than we can handle- we have to watch and pray continually. If we don't want to be faced with unbearable burdens, we have to stay on our guard. Keep working on putting on the Armor of God.

Remember, it's the little things that matter. Life just keeps getting harder, because once we master one thing, the Lord gives us something else to master. You can strengthen yourself so that you are able to handle those increases, and you can always ask for help. God did not expect us to conquer life entirely on our own. That is why we have spouses ("an help-meet"); why we have church, neighbors, and communities; why we have scriptures and the Holy Ghost; why we have welfare programs. When we need help, don't be afraid to ask. That is part of humility. And when you can help others, don't be afraid to offer. That is how we exercise charity and compassion- which bolsters our spirits and helps us make it through our own hard times.