New Member

[hope2909]

I am a new member and I am the only member in my family. My family is unstable with an alcoholic mom and three other siblings that are all going down a much different path than I am. There is constant swearing, drinking, and disapproval in my house. Im really tired of taking care of everything myself. My bishop keeps telling me that the only thing i can do for them is to be a good example. Its really hard keeping the spirit in my house and to avoid my pre-member nonworthy life when I have to come home to temptations of the past everyday. My family is not real supportive about me being a new member and I dont know if i can take it anymore. I need some help. I love the church and have a very strong testimony but I dont know where to go from here

[jayanna]

I like going on lds.org and reading all kids of things there. .. also there is mormon.org where you can chat with missionaries

You can also go on a trip to the temple and do baptisms there.

Remember that you are not alone...read your scriptures, the church magazines, and pray a Lot. For a little while I lived with my parents right after I joined the church and they were anti. It was really hard, but hang in there, the Lord is in it with you. There are no challenges that He cannot overcome for you.

[SeattleTruthSeeker]

I am a new member and I am the only member in my family. My family is unstable with an alcoholic mom and three other siblings that are all going down a much different path than I am. There is constant swearing, drinking, and disapproval in my house. Im really tired of taking care of everything myself. My bishop keeps telling me that the only thing i can do for them is to be a good example. Its really hard keeping the spirit in my house and to avoid my pre-member nonworthy life when I have to come home to temptations of the past everyday. My family is not real supportive about me being a new member and I dont know if i can take it anymore. I need some help. I love the church and have a very strong testimony but I dont know where to go from here

Here are some suggestions for you.

1) Develop a good prayer life.

By developing a solid prayer life, you begin to learn how to rely on what our Heavenly Father would have you do. Granted, we can't control the things others do, say, or participate in, however, we do have our own will and desire.

2) Develop a daily scripture study habit.

Getting involved with a good foundation and reading your scriptures will help illuminate and grow your testimony. Whether it is a couple of verses, or a whole chapter, reading our scriptures, praying and pondering them will help us draw closer. We will become humble and learn to stand as witnesses of the Gospel, of the Restoration of the Gospel, and of the love our Heavenly Father has for us.

3) Learn to follow the example of our Savior.

How many times was he ridiculed? How many of his disciples abandoned him? How often did he have to contend with those who mocked and ridiculed him? Challenged his authority? How did he respond to them? How many times did he weep for them? How many times did he pray for them?

4) attend your meetings and surround yourself with those people who are strong members in the church. Counsel with your bishop/branch president. Meet with the missionaries and ward missionaries. Get to know the members of the ward. Participate in the youth activities (if you are a youth). If you are an adult, participate in the institute classes.

Here is where the challenge is:

5) If your family does not sit down at the dinner table, start setting the table with plates, silverware, and all that is needed for them to join you. Fix dinner as often as your schedule allows you to. When you are done preparing dinner for everyone (not just yourself) sit at the table, pray over the meal, and invite everyone to the table. If they won't join you, that is their decision. Do not say a word to them about it. Do this the next night, and the next night, and the next night. Eventually, they are going to stop the antics and may actually sit down with you at the dinner table.

6) Develop a servants heart. As hard as this is, as hard as it becomes, this is the area we truly need to learn from our Savior. He knelt and washed the feet of his disciples. The Son of God, knelt in humility and washed 24 feet.

7) When they say bad things to you, mock you, ridicule you (unless it is abusive or threatening), let them know you love them and respect them. Not just in word, but in deed. Do unexpected things for them. If you have the money, get a card that has a personal note where you write something about what you appreciate about them, encouraging words.

8) Do not talk about religion, unless they bring it up, and only share what has inspired you.

9) Write in a journal detailing your experience (trust me on this one - seriously!!!). Let your journal be the only form where you can pour out your heart and soul, how their words hurt you. Let it be your own personal refuge that is between you and Heavenly Father. Also, share things that are changing in your life. Share your thoughts on how the Restored Gospel is blessing you, how it is blessing your family.

10) Remember Always: Our Heavenly Father is in the business of softening hearts of even the most hard-hearted individuals, however, it is only up to the individual who will allow their heart to be softened.

Why do these things? Because it will testify to them and stand as a witness to them that as you live the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and strive to become more like him, then they will have no excuse. Either by your example and actions in how you grew from precept to precept, from truth to truth and strengthen your testimony, or how you handle their mocking, and shaming of you - it will either convict them or condemn them. What ultimately matters is how you decide to choose to take the high road or allow them to corral you into falling back into old habits and old ways.

[FunkyTown]

I've been there. New members often face large difficulties with non-member households. I was in the exact same position 9 years ago when I first joined the church.

It's tough. You find yourself being torn between duty to family and your responsibilities to God and yourself.

We're here for support, no matter what! Never think you have to do it alone.

[lizzy16]

Hope, keep trying. And pray. Prayer works. God loves you!!

[Blackmarch]

I am a new member and I am the only member in my family. My family is unstable with an alcoholic mom and three other siblings that are all going down a much different path than I am. There is constant swearing, drinking, and disapproval in my house. Im really tired of taking care of everything myself. My bishop keeps telling me that the only thing i can do for them is to be a good example. Its really hard keeping the spirit in my house and to avoid my pre-member nonworthy life when I have to come home to temptations of the past everyday. My family is not real supportive about me being a new member and I dont know if i can take it anymore. I need some help. I love the church and have a very strong testimony but I dont know where to go from here

I don't know much about your situation other than how difficult it is, and i'm very sorry to hear that. It's going to be real tough for awhile.

In addition to the good advice given earlier in the thread i'd like to throw a couple-

Do you have a place you can retreat to away from the chaos for half an hour to an hour, such as a park or walkway? Sometimes i find that secluding myself for a little while to ponder and pray even read a bit can bring some peace of mind.

Go to church, also try to get to the church activites where you'll be with people who will be supportive of you.

and as been said before pray hard, and study hard.

[hope2909]

Thanks for all the great advice and support. I am definitely going to use all the advice that you guys are giving me and Ill let you know how it goes