not sure I should have a reccomend


needingadvice
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As much as I love going to the temple, and as much as I am TRYING to live the gospel.......... I feel sooooo anxious about living the law of tithing. Right now, not an issue because my husband is inactive and I'm a SAHM. As I've stated on here before he was extremely abusive for awhile. He was paying his tithing, then spending money on what he wanted, then telling me I don't need food, clothes, medical care, etc etc. It was a nightmare. I am scared to death of what will happen when/if he decides to pay tithing again. So if I WANT to pay but it just scares me, but I would TRY despite the fact that I would probably have daily panic attacks, .... should I really use my recommend? I am doing everything else I should be.

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I agree with the others. The real problem here is not tithing, but your husband. If he continues abusing you, I suggest you get out. If he no longer abuses you, that's good, but the residual effects of past abuse are still there and need to be dealt with. Talking to the bishop might help, and you might also want to consider marital counseling. (I understand finances are tight, but there are often counseling resources available for people with low incomes--your bishop might be able to help you there, or point you in the right direction.) I understand you love your husband, and it's possible you can work things out, and that would be great. But if the abuse continues... well, that's just not right, and I hope you understand that there are other options.

If you don't have enough money to both pay tithing and buy food and medical care, then get food and medical care. Taking care of your family's (and your own) basic needs is more important than making donations to a charitable organization. I know the TBMs will disagree with me on this for "lack of faith," etc., blah, blah, but tough beans. First things first.

If you explain your financial situation to the bishop, however, he might be willing to offer temporary food and/or financial assistance. No guarantees, but that might enable you to both pay tithing and eat.

Best of luck to you,

HEP

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