Law of Chasity

[Guest Sachi001]

It's difficult to understand you when your new, and with such a question comes off strong. I'm new as well, but pretty sure that the more experienced ones have had run in's with what I call hit and run trolls (cause the church has many of them). Their alarm bells no doubt go off due to experience with such. Trust is earned not given.

Second - I responded to you and told you":

"Only a representative of the Lord can discern such. You need to see the Bishop for counseling as you may spiritually fail again, and then risk losing all chance of going to any college. Especially if you wind up pregnant. Is the risk of a short physical exchange vs. losing time of college because you will have to attend to motherhood duties? Wise up! "

I'm sure your nervous, and possibly terrified, but you need to face the fear. Be prepared for the worse, and hope for the best as they say, but get it over with. Procrastination even an extra day could be one day too many, and cause you to miss school. If you miss a semester then you miss a semester. There is the next one, and undoubtedly some might get angry, but it will be their problem, and not yours. The world will not implode on you. Life will go on, and you will gain strength in testimony if you learn from your past behavior. Believe me I know as I was young and and a screw up. Yeah my wife will probably tell you I still am.

Now in the immortal words of Larry the Cable Guy

Git-r-dun!

[pam]

finally someone who understands me. People that are commenting think im lying but im being very honest and it scares me to death to let my parents know that i cant go to school for a while. i just want to know how long will the repentence process takes and if ill be able to come back to school by winter time.

The thing is, no one on this site can tell you how long the process takes and if you'll be able to go back to school by winter. Only discussing this with your Bishop can you find the answers.

[FunkyTown]

And what help are you seeking from this forum, absolution? This thread doesn't feel right or legit.

I'm legit.

No, no. I'm TOO legit.

I'm too legit to quit.

[Guest mysticmorini]

And what help are you seeking from this forum, absolution? This thread doesn't feel right or legit.

Who made you judge, jury, and executioner? I think she is looking for some support that it will be ok, like don’t worry, they won’t kick you out, or not let you attend, etc.

I don’t know what the exact policies are but I do know they have a pretty strict morality code of conduct. Surely there is someone here who went to BYUI that could share some light on what happens in these situations?

I’m not sure I agree with kicking someone out for law of chastity issues unless they are a predator or something. Fixing your issues is important but so is an education.

Edited July 18, 2011 by mysticmorini

[slamjet]

Who made you judge, jury, and executioner? I think she is looking for some support that it will be ok, like don’t worry, they won’t kick you out, or not let you attend, etc.

Just posting an opinion. Deal. Plus who are we or you to know what her consequences are? We don't have the whole story, nor do we know for sure what will happen. So no, no one here can tell her it's ok nor that she will not get kicked out, or any other consequence. They can only tell her to go talk to her Bishop and get it sorted out.

I don’t know what the exact policies are but I do know they have a pretty strict morality code of conduct. Surely there is someone here who went to BYUI that could share some light on what happens in these situations?

I’m not sure I agree with kicking someone out for law of chastity issues unless they are a predator or something. Fixing your issues is important but so is an education.

I know their code of conduct because my daughter goes there. They make it very, unambiguously clear what is expected and what the rules are. If the OP is legit, then she knows and she needs to go to her ecclesiastical leaders at home and/or at the college for help, not this forum. Then, again, she needs to deal with the consequences of her decisions. But then I still don't think it's a legit posting.

[Guest mysticmorini]

I guess you are free to think what you like.

Even anecdotal examples of what others have experienced will give the OP some bearing of what to expect. I think she knows she needs to go to the bishop but if she know that it is likely she won’t be able to go to school in the winter she can prepare herself for that . If it isn’t likely that she won’t be able to go back to school that could be a burden off of what sounds to be a burden laden back.

I guess I just like to have a little bit of compassion for sinners (mostly because I know that I am one) and I tend not to question others motives unless they give me a GOOD reason to.

[Guest mysticmorini]

I guess you are free to think what you like.

Even anecdotal examples of what others have experienced will give the OP some bearing of what to expect. I think she knows she needs to go to the bishop but if she know that it is likely she won’t be able to go to school in the winter she can prepare herself for that . If it isn’t likely that she won’t be able to go back to school that could be a burden off of what sounds to be a burden laden back.

I guess I just like to have a little bit of compassion for sinners (mostly because I know that I am one) and I tend not to question others motives unless they give me a GOOD reason to.

[Backroads]

I think she is looking for some support that it will be ok, like don’t worry, they won’t kick you out, or not let you attend, etc.

We can't offer that. I graduated from BYU-I, I knew of some people who were put on probation because of law of chastity issues. I don't run the school. I don't give the ecclestiastical endorsement. I can't say "they won't kick you out."

I don’t know what the exact policies are but I do know they have a pretty strict morality code of conduct. Surely there is someone here who went to BYUI that could share some light on what happens in these situations?

I've seen a couple people get kicked out of school--one was able to return another semester. I've seen several people put on a type of probation where they were still technically attending, though were being watched. Heck, I have heard of someone who simply went to the bishop, went through repentence, and the school was never notified.

I’m not sure I agree with kicking someone out for law of chastity issues unless they are a predator or something. Fixing your issues is important but so is an education.

You agree to follow the law of chastity when you attend BYU-Idaho. Why shouldn't they kick you out? There are plenty of other places to get an education, so it's not like you're educationally doomed.

[Guest mysticmorini]

You agree to follow the law of chastity when you attend BYU-Idaho. Why shouldn't they kick you out? There are plenty of other places to get an education, so it's not like you're educationally doomed.

Like i said, I didn't know what the code of conduct was, technically speaking they have every right to kick you out. It just seems to me that automatic removal should be reserved for those who aren't willing to repent or are predators. IMHO of course.

[Backroads]

Like i said, I didn't know what the code of conduct was, technically speaking they have every right to kick you out. It just seems to me that automatic removal should be reserved for those who aren't willing to repent or are predators. IMHO of course.

And I agree. In my experience, they do seem to be given opportunities. I just think that one shouldn't be surprised to get kicked out.

Though the infamous Beehive Manor was a different story altogether.

Edited July 18, 2011 by Backroads

[slamjet]

I guess I just like to have a little bit of compassion for sinners (mostly because I know that I am one) and I tend not to question others motives unless they give me a GOOD reason to.

I have a lot of compassion for sinners. I have little for those trying to skirt responsibility and consequences and those who want to tell them it's acceptable.

[Backroads]

I have a lot of compassion for sinners. I have little for those trying to skirt responsibility and consequences and those who want to tell them it's acceptable.

Exactly. I'm sorry you are about to graduate/can't afford tuition somewhere else/etc, but really, you should have thought of that beforehand.

[Guest mysticmorini]

I'm still not sure the punishment matches the crime.

[Dravin]

I'm still not sure the punishment matches the crime.

Part of honor codes is agreeing to the consequences of breaking them, that the consequence of violating the honor code is possible expulsion is not something they sneak on a student, and in fact is something the prospective student agrees to before becoming a student at the school. If the prospective student feels it is unfair they shouldn't agree to the honor code and should seek an education elsewhere.

Edited July 18, 2011 by Dravin

[Backroads]

I'm still not sure the punishment matches the crime.

HOw not? It's not like anyone is being stoned. You might think it's harsh, and I still continue to think that other options can be pursued, but I would'nt think twice about someone being kicked out of BYU-Idaho when they were perfectly well aware that by breaking the honor code their place at the school was jeapordized.

[Guest mysticmorini]

I don't disagree that it’s well within the schools right to kick them out. I still think prudence and common sense should prevail. If the person recognize there mistake and is willing to change, wouldn't some type of probation be more appropriate?

Edited July 18, 2011 by mysticmorini

[Backroads]

I don't disagree that its well within the schools right to kick them out. I still think prudence and common sense should prevale.

And from what I've seen it often does.

But what we're getting on this thread is akin to "I know I messed up, but it's really inconvenient for me to repent right now." That's not sincere repentance, and I think prudence and common sense to the effect of keeping so-n-so in school only happens when there is sincere repentence.

[Guest mysticmorini]

And from what I've seen it often does.

But what we're getting on this thread is akin to "I know I messed up, but it's really inconvenient for me to repent right now." That's not sincere repentance, and I think prudence and common sense to the effect of keeping so-n-so in school only happens when there is sincere repentence.

If that is her intent then I agree. I did not read that from her post. We cannot know from the details she provided if she is truly sorry and truly desires to repent. Not being able to go back to school is a legitimate concern. Of course the right thing to do is to talk to your bishop.

[Dravin]

I don't disagree that it’s well within the schools right to kick them out. I still think prudence and common sense should prevail. If the person recognize there mistake and is willing to change, wouldn't some type of probation be more appropriate?

Depends on the guidelines of the honor code. If it, which both parties agreed to, calls for expulsion than it's quite prudent and common sense to expulse the student for violating the agreement with agreed to before hand consequences. That said there are procedures involved for stuff like this, it's not like one logs onto the student portal, admits they violated the honor code, and then is expulsed by the software at the speed of DSL. People will be involved and the student will be able to plead their case to a lesser or greater extent.

[Backroads]

If that is her intent then I agree. I did not read that from her post. We cannot know from the details she provided if she is truly sorry and truly desires to repent. Not being able to go back to school is a legitimate concern. Of course the right thing to do is to talk to your bishop.

But there are so many other places to go to school. ANd it's not like the university will go back in time and deny her any credits she earned.

[Guest mysticmorini]

But there are so many other places to go to school. ANd it's not like the university will go back in time and deny her any credits she earned.

Credits don't always transfer and different colleges have different requirements for the same program. (that neither here nor there though) For someone with her weakness a church school might be better than a secular schools that might actually encourage immoral behavior.

[Backroads]

Credits don't always transfer and different colleges have different requirements for the same program. (that neither here nor there though) For someone with her weakness a church school might be better than a secular schools that might actually encourage immoral behavior.

It's not the job of the church school to babysit her.

EDIT:

Okay, that's sounds a little cruel. I do feel for people in this situation. I've been a college student. I know how it can be to get together everything you need.

But at the same time, personal responsibility needs to step up at some point. The church schools strive to create spiritual and loving atmospheres, but they don't have the time to make sure each student is obeying the honor code. They don't have time to make sure each student is getting his spiritual needs. By all means, they do indeed try to make every opportunity available, but a student who attends a church school and signs the Honor Code needs to make a personal committment. This commitment can apply to a person no matter what school they attend and the school's culture ultimately cannot be blamed for anything.

I've given what I've seen of the disciplanary actions.

But no church school is going to let someone who broke the honor code slide soley on "But I'm losing tuition or I need to graduate."

I also don't think you suggest that a one-time mistake means an extreme sexual weakness.

Edited July 18, 2011 by Backroads

[Dravin]

It's not the job of the church school to babysit her.

Besides, it's been demonstrated that the school can't babysit her, at least not effectively. They made her promise not to do something under consequence of possible expulsion and she did it anyway.

[Backroads]

I was inactive for a while and I experienced things that i never thought i would. I did have sex with multiple men. To be specific its been four. I am now attending byui and i wont be back for another 5 months for my break. and i had sex before i came up to school and im scared to tell my bishop because i am afraid that i will not be able to attend byui my winter semester. PLEASE HELP!!!!

All right, I'll answer this directly.

When you applied for BYU-Idaho, you would have met with an ecclesiastical leader. In order for him to approve your application, you would have needed to be good on all fronts. If I'm reading this correctly, you had sex before you went up to school the first time. During that meeting with your bishop, you should have repented then, before you even set foot on the campus.

You have to get it done sometime.

[Guest mysticmorini]

I suppose there are a lot of facts we just dont know about her situation. I am hesitant to jump to conclusions but you (all) may very well be right. In any outcome its important to remember its not the end of the road, there is always repentance and a road back to the right path.