Sent to a YSA....


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Am a 25 yo recent convert and was sent to a YSA ward. I am just not fitting in...

I started supporting myself and my mother when I was 16. I left HS early and got my BS just after my 21st birthday. I've been supporting us for almost a decade. I have a good career, own a modest house and got about 6-9 mo of food storage put away. I am also fat (yep there I said it, and I am the only fat person in the ward...)

90% of our ward is under 25, most are college students or just starting out. They are all into missions, school, and learning how to be adults (and checking out attractive people). And thats great I am happy they have been cared for, loved and supported into early adulthood. I hope to do the same for my own kids someday.

Have contemplated trying to go to a family ward and actually get a feel for how that operates but am warned that I will never ever find a husband then and will die an old maid! Getting married isnt at the top of my to do list this year but I haven't been brave enough to say that... Ive had 4 boyfriends thus far and all have been in the 32-38 range. Never been asked out by a guy under 30... so I'm not really sure how much being stuck with a bunch of college mentality guys is going to help....

I also can't dance to save my life. I have muscle spasticity which makes me a horrible klutz and dancing just doesn't happen. Pills help me walk like a normal person but no pills have been invented that gets this body dancing. Apparently I'm also doomed to old maid status for not dancing. LOL.

I don't know if I'm asking for advice or just venting... (thanks for listening ehh reading ^_^ )

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Considering the entire rest of the world manages to get hitched without the benefit of YSA wards I'm thinking not going isn't the kiss of singledom. Also, nothing prevents you from attending a family ward and the singles activities (provided you can keep abreast of them). Besides, if you're looking upon the rest of the YSA population as kids then it's not like they're a dating population for you anyway.

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YSA wards are not for everyone. If you are not fitting in, then go to a regular ward and see how it works for you. Many people meet and get married outside of YSA activities. Dravin and Beefche met here and now are happily married, except for when one hogs the computer so the other cannot post on LDS.Net....

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Here's a shocker---I went to BYU for 5 years (yes, I was on the slow plan) and didn't get married. I also attended a YSA branch for several years before I got too old to attend. I had been in a family ward for several years as a single, no kids woman. Love being in a family ward--I was able to meet a variety of people and serve. I only recently married to a man I met online (this site, to be exact, as rameumptom said).

My advice to anyone who is single and worried about getting married remains the same. You work on you. You do what you truly believe the Lord wants for you and things will be fine. Be the kind of person you would want to marry. Take opportunities to meet others--single activities, conferences, church, set up by friends, whatever. A date does not a commitment make--it's a date. So, don't be afraid to go out with someone because you are looking too far into the future.

You can and will be happy, even if you remain single in this life.

Good luck!

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I've actually had dinner with Beefche a few times, and when she was in charge of the Mid-Singles in our area, asked me to give a presentation once. What she says above is actually how she lives. The fact that she only recently got married has nothing to do with who she was/is. I saw her constantly involved in some great projects, both here on LDS.Net and also in her stake/region. Always full of life, and a smile on her face (or is that indigestion from all the grass?), she was always ready for when Dravin finally showed up.

I think too many LDS of all ages spend too much time figuring out what they want in a spouse, and not doing enough to prepare themselves to be the kind of spouse they dream of.

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Participation in student and singles wards is strictly voluntary. If any church leader tries to tell you that you should or you must, tell them where to stick it. If you don't feel personally enriched by the singles ward, go to the conventional ward.

when they try to manipulate you with statements like, "you'll end up an old maid," remind them that 1) the rest of the world manages to find spouses without singles wards, and 2) they should really try not to make such stupidly insensitive comments lest they alienate people instead of accepting them.

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  • 4 weeks later...

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