What to do..

[Spartan117]

Hmmm. So you're saying that the guy should tell the bishop he's about to go inactive over the "brother's" actions, not as a threat, but as a statement of fact.

Something about that just doesn't seem right to me, but I acknowledge that it's not as I had first characterized it.

I think it's also a way to let the Bishop know how serious the situation is, maybe?

[Just_A_Guy]

I agree with Spartan. There's a fine line between conveying the fact that a situation has become intolerable, and imposing an ultimatum.

[slamjet]

I don't believe for a second that you really think that's a weakness

Well, just a tiny one

[Backroads]

It isn't a threat, you've misunderstood.

It's a statement of what the person feels and is about to do.

Happens over and over in church when members, because of problems with other members, want to give up. That's when we should step in and try to help by mediating or by uplifting a person so they don't go inactive.

Makes sense to me. Ultimately I believe it's the individual's choice to go inactive or stay active, but that fact gives no one the right to help them go inactive.

The way you explained this suggests to me the statement is a problem the OP is seeing the bishop for.

[JTiberiousKirk]

This is kind of childish.... but I am going too throw it out there.

There is a brother in my ward who is on the bishopric who has taken it upon himself to make my time at church to say the least "unpleasant"..

The story goes like this... He was the bishop some time ago, at that time I needed to speak with him over a transgression.. He took it to stake they did not feel it was serious and given i had been open about it, did not impose any penalty on me ...

Several years pass, I move back in to the ward, He is now on the high council so he is rarely in the ward. I get called as EQ Pres. About 12 months later the is a change of bishopric and he returns as a councilor to the bishop.

Here starts the problems... He calls around to my house and while he is there he states that they have a better position for me? and indicates that EQ P is not really for me.. At this time I had taken the EQ from 7 attending to about 12. (small ward). A week or so latter he mentions again that the EQ should be somebody's else s calling. this happens a few more times.. till I finally write to the stake pres and request a release and stop working the calling.

Then Christmas last year, my wife buys me a pair of $400 sunglasses. While talking to a brother I put them down and leave them in the class room. I return latter that evening to find them and they are gone.. The following Sunday I ask around and one brother says to me that "so and so" had asked him whos they were and he told him that they were mine, This was confirmed by another sister who asked if i got my sunglasses back from,,,,

So I go and see him, at frist he said he did not have they, then he said he put them in the bishop office,, then he said they might be at home, then he tells me that thing get lost all the time.. After 6 week he gives them back to me with some excuse that he had only just found them...

Any way a few other things happen between us mostly him making comments about me or my son.. So at this years Christmas party, I was standing outside with a few people talking, he comes out and says to the crowd that the food is ready. So I turn and start to move inside the building as I pass him he comments "don't rush the fat ones eats last or there will not be enough" I looked at him and he says "you heard". I just walked off, and sat in the foyer.. latter the bishops wife sees me. The following Sunday he rings me and asks. If we have a problem and what did I say to the bishops wife? I just told him to give it a rest and don't talk to me.

He then walks up to me in the car park, gets right in my face and says. have we got a problem? I told him if we have no interaction there wont be a problem.

For the next couple of weeks he singles me out to says something ...

It got to the point were my 16 year old daughter said to me "Dose he want a flogging" she could see how worked up I had became? I spoke bishop about the situation.

I stopped attending for about 3 weeks, I went back last week and again he walks past a make some smart comment about me being back..

So the question is. What would you do if you was me?

I get screwed with a lot. I've been been the subject of rumors, lies, and outright hurt by several members of my own ward for no other reason that I'm divorced; my response has been resounding silence to their hurtfulness, at least in public.

It hurts my feelings when people talk about me; I try to ignore them, but its so painful I just don't want to go to church any more.

I don't get any support form the EQ or HP presidencies; the bishopric ignores me, even though the Bishop is my home teacher.

What do you do?

I've going inactive; I don't want to be - I love to go to church. But I can't go and not be treated poorly.

What are my real choices?

Edited September 9, 2012 by JTiberiousKirk

[Guest Doctrine]

there are a lot of things I would do but none would be helpful.

I would work my way up the leadership chain until someone helps.

I had a situation with a stake prez from anouther stake so i told my stake prez and he said he did not want to get involved so i called the area 70 and he got involved and i recived two phone calls from both stake prez's saying sorry.

something like this can not be left alone or it will never stop.

[JTiberiousKirk]

My father is in the 2nd Quorum of The 70; I've never asked for help from him. I never will.

I can't stand nepotism.

I have made my way in the world for more than 20 years without help; its not pride, its because I am capable of providing for my self and being self-sufficient.

Talking to my ward, stake and area authorities, I have simply become disheartened; the only time "they" care is when a "Molly Mormon" or "Returned Missionary" ask for help; I am desperate for that level of care, even if that help is nothing more than a kind ear and strong shoulder to cry on.

Sometimes, oftentimes, I just wish I hadn't been born.

No family means no life worth living.

[Gramajane]

We are ALL in the family of our Father in Heaven, and He and our Elder brother Jesus Christ, know, and understand our trials and our hearts. We can talk to our Father any time

(always great reception, no busy signal, and no charge for the long distance either :)

--- Then we need to "be still" and listen with our hearts to hear from them.

It helps to have the daily feast in reading the scriptures, especially Jesus words/deeds (including in the Book of Mormon) which will help us come to know the Savior.

--- also ***AS*** we obey the commandments, we train our bodies/minds/spirits to know our God.

--- this also helps me

"One who takes offense when no offense is intended,

is a fool, and one who takes offense when it *is* intended, is also a fool".

--- (another fool is one who offends)

while one of the commandments is also to forgive and forget the irritation/anger.

--- as why should we "suffer fools" to drive us from where God wants us to be, where the teachings bring us in line, we partake of the sacrament to weekly repent of our wrongs, where we can sing the hymns and feel the spirit, if we get OUR spirit in tune?

--- You are the one in charge of your "buttons", so "consider the source"

and know that after this life, you and he will each know the others heart/pain and experience what pain we have caused others if we haven't repented of doing it.

---- It is best to forgive ASAP as keeping a hurt, hurts us more, and we may forget to forgive the one who hurt us (though it seems you have a perfect memory of each offense : / )

soooooo , "let it go, and Let God deal with it.

You get to choose your reaction, and just figure out what the Christlike reaction/action would be?

God bless you and us all, everyone! Gramajane