ajr6405 Posted June 10, 2012 Report Posted June 10, 2012 My husband and I got into a huge fight the other night......so bad that he's not talking to me[he's cooling off]. Ive been reading the book and i guess for some reason i had the urge to start from the beginning and read it again. I was seriously over-come by the spirit and it seemed like everything that he had expressed concern and said was correct. I feel absolutely horrid. That night he kept bringing up how i never seemed happy. I didnt understand how he could be saying such a thing,i was smiling,i had been smiling but after i read the first chapter again,it hit.......I was happy but i wasnt truly happy. My happiness came from things that were superficial,going out,partying,spending money,etc. The book had stated that to be genuinely happy you needed to be filled with the spirit and frankly until a few mins ago,i couldnt have told anyone the last time i felt the spirit. It became very apparent to me just how "unhappy" i was. I honestly disgraced myself,my family and everything i stood for to achieve temporary happiness and in doing so i pushed the wonderful man that had been by my side for almost 12 yrs away. my whole point in this post isnt for pity lol i needed to get this out,maybe someone out there has been or is going through this. i mean any kind word,helpful thought or even a word of prayer,scripture etc is greatly accepted. i have asked for forgiveness and i will patiently await a reply. thanks for reading ~Amy Quote
Sicily510 Posted June 10, 2012 Report Posted June 10, 2012 Good Luck! Cry unto the Lord in prayer.... Quote
ajr6405 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Report Posted June 11, 2012 Oh my bad. It's kind of a habit to say since most of my friends are chicks Quote
ClickyClack Posted June 11, 2012 Report Posted June 11, 2012 I'm sorry to hear that! Sometimes, we're slapped in the face with our own shortcomings. The natural reaction is to feel bad, mope, get depressed, or even (quite commonly) fight against it. After all, nobody likes to feel like they were wrong. But, those behaviors don't lead to any progress. It's hard, but try to NOT feel bad, just to do better going into the future. Quote
HEthePrimate Posted June 11, 2012 Report Posted June 11, 2012 ((ajr6405)), Sorry you had a fight, and that you're feeling bad. Two things: (1) Never assume you're wrong. (2) Never assume you're right. In other words, it helps to pay close attention to both sides of a discussion or argument. Think about what your position, why you think the way you do, and whether or not it makes sense. Don't just cave in on everything, because you may be right. Or even if there is no "right" or "wrong" answer in a particular case, you may have good reasons. BUT, also consider the position of your interlocutor. Really listen to what he is saying. Think about it. Think about his reasons for saying what he's saying. Ask questions if you don't understand something. Consider that he may be right, or at least have good reasons for thinking the way he does. Oftentimes, both people are partly right and partly wrong. Finally, just because you had a fight does not mean he doesn't love you, or you don't love him. Couples have arguments. They may not be the most pleasant thing in the world, but can be instructive, and help you grow and form a stronger relationship if you learn from the experience and work to make things better. If you're wrong, give your hubby a hug, admit you're wrong, and tell him you love him. If he's wrong, just give him a hug and tell him you love him, so he feels reassured. Peace. Quote
ClickyClack Posted June 11, 2012 Report Posted June 11, 2012 ((ajr6405)),Oftentimes, both people are partly right and partly wrong.I wouldn't say oftentimes... I'd say almost always. One famous person (I don't recall who) said something close to "How short would all battles be, if the blame lie entirely on one side." Quote
HEthePrimate Posted June 11, 2012 Report Posted June 11, 2012 I wouldn't say oftentimes... I'd say almost always. One famous person (I don't recall who) said something close to "How short would all battles be, if the blame lie entirely on one side."I'll stick to "often." Sometimes one person really is right, and the other one wrong. But often the responsibility is shared. Quote
Misshalfway Posted June 11, 2012 Report Posted June 11, 2012 I think the most important part of the story is how you started feeling the spirit and how this opened your eyes to the contrast between what real happy is and isn't. This sounds like a beautiful awakening! The trick here is managing all the emotions. Hope you can find some way to love yourself and have compassion for yourself as you sort through all the pieces. Quote
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