Non Member Partners

[Latter Days Guy]

Just a quick question, what happens to those members who's marriage partners are not members of the church and who never become members of the church when they come to the judgement and entering the different glories of heaven? I know that you have to take part in temple ordinances and temple marriage, obey the commandments etc to gain entry to the celestial kingdom, but what happens to the member who doesn't have the chance to do this because their wife/husband is not a member of the church?

Would it be better for such a person to seperate from their non member partner and find one within the church?

[Rosewood]

No, No, No! Don't break up the family; at least not for that reason! This is the way I understand it. You have no control over what other people do and the Lord would never let your reward be based on what other people do. You will, if your spouse never does decide to follow the gospel, have the opportunity to have a celestial marriage later. All the blessings will be yours if you live the best you can in the situation you're in. Of course your spouse may not be ready, maybe something he/she experienced has made them unable to understand the gospel right now. Their time will be in their time, and only the Lord knows when that is. The family is sacred, the church is here to nurture the family. Heavenly Father is very fair. When an active lds person marries a non-member, now thats really an unneccessary stress on your relationship. I wouldn't advise it, but even then things can work out. This subject has been covered pretty well in conf. talks etc. I'll try to look some up for you. Hope that helps.

I found these on lds.org

Kristin Sandoval and Susan Heumphreus, “Staying Active — When Your Spouse Isn’t a Member,” Tambuli, Apr. 1991, 17

Kristin Sandoval and Susan Heumphreus, “When Your Spouse Isn’t a Member,” Ensign, Mar. 1990, 30

Renon Klossner Hulet, “Partners in Everything but the Church,” Tambuli, Mar. 1989, 33

Gene R. Cook, “Home and Family: A Divine Eternal Pattern,” Ensign, May 1984, 30

[Ray]

That was very good counsel from Rosewood.

Try looking at it this way, too:

If you were to divorce your spouse because they weren't a member of the Church, you would pretty much be saying:

"I give up."

"You're not a member now, and I don't know if you'll ever be, and I think I have waited long enough."

"I'm going on without you"

"I already gave you your chance"

"You're really not worth more of my time"

Understand now?

Of course you can't both be in the Celestial kingdom if you both are not judged to be worthy, but you are not the one who will be making that judgment... you can't make your wife go, if she doesn't want to go... or if she doesn't do (whatever she needs to do) to be worthy of the Celestial kingdom.

Bottom line:

... don't ever give up on the people you love...

... as much as you can, keep trying...

... do all that you can do for yourself and for others...

... and remember, He will be the final judge.

[Maureen]

...I know that you have to take part in temple ordinances (endowments)...obey the commandments etc to gain entry to the celestial kingdom...

IIRC, an LDS member can receive their endowments even though they may not be getting married or going on a mission. I think it was the early '80's when my LDS friend's sister finally received her endowments because her husband was non-LDS. Am I correct?

M.

[Ray]

Yes, a person who is not married may receive their temple endowments... there are guidelines about when to receive them... but GB-UK was asking about being sealed to a spouse... and there are other guidelines for that ordinance.

[john doe]

There are instances where a member married to a non-member has received their endowment in the temple. It has become more comon now than it had in decades past.

[rosie321]

I believe strongly that the couple should stay married as long as there is not some serious transgression or abuse taking place.

There are important truths and changes that can occur for the members as well as the nonmember in the peaceable marriage.

1. The non-member has a daily living witness of love and of the gospel. Who knows what may happen? To just walk away might sign the spouse over to the dark side. 1st corinthians 7:10-16 explains quite well what is expected.

2. The believing spouse will better come to know and love christ. Our marriage should reflect the example that Christ set for us. Sticking it out despite personal worries of eternal concerns demonstrates the love that Christ has for us. He gave up everything for a far greater purpose.

3Things will work out. To just walk away in fear is not love which "endureth all things."

[rosie321]

That was very good counsel from Rosewood.

Try looking at it this way, too:

If you were to divorce your spouse because they weren't a member of the Church, you would pretty much be saying:

"I give up."

"You're not a member now, and I don't know if you'll ever be, and I think I have waited long enough."

"I'm going on without you"

"I already gave you your chance"

"You're really not worth more of my time"

Understand now?

Of course you can't both be in the Celestial kingdom if you both are not judged to be worthy, but you are not the one who will be making that judgment... you can't make your wife go, if she doesn't want to go... or if she doesn't do (whatever she needs to do) to be worthy of the Celestial kingdom.

Bottom line:

... don't ever give up on the people you love...

... as much as you can, keep trying...

... do all that you can do for yourself and for others...

... and remember, He will be the final judge.

Ray your thoughts say it all.

As I look at what you'd be telling your spouse if you just gave up on them it sends shivers up my spine

YOu're not worth it...

I'm not going to wait...

I've got to do what's best for me

Now take those messages that you'd be sending and now consider all the gospel principles and ideals you've ever known.

How does that leave them thinking really line up?

"What profiteth a man if he gain the world but loseth his soul?" I think that can be twisted to apply here.

If we are willing to trample on the most special person we know to obtain celestial glory then how worthy are we for it?

(most special person on earth)

[Latter Days Guy]

Thanks for all the replies, and no I've no intention of leaving the wife! I was just wondering what happens to those members who's partners don't become members.

[rosie321]

Thanks for all the replies, and no I've no intention of leaving the wife! I was just wondering what happens to those members who's partners don't become members.

Out of curiosity, is your wife a member? (BTW thought never crossed my mind that you meant it for yourself-assumed you were asking generally)

To members whose partners don't become members expect a challenging road with a lot of extra bumps and views. That's why people are encouraged to marry someone of like belief

As always, life to some degree is what you make of it.

[Latter Days Guy]

<div class='quotemain'>

Thanks for all the replies, and no I've no intention of leaving the wife! I was just wondering what happens to those members who's partners don't become members.

Out of curiosity, is your wife a member? (BTW thought never crossed my mind that you meant it for yourself-assumed you were asking generally)

To members whose partners don't become members expect a challenging road with a lot of extra bumps and views. That's why people are encouraged to marry someone of like belief

As always, life to some degree is what you make of it.

No my wife is not a member yet! Like I said, I was wondering what would happen after death etc.

[rosie321]

No my wife is not a member yet! Like I said, I was wondering what would happen after death etc.

Neither is my husband.

No need to worry though. Just keep walking forward , together hand in hand and trust that things will come together the way they should.

Do you think that Heavenly Father will punish you for doing what is right?

If our spouses were totally evil and unreceptive to truth do you think they would still be with us? They have not rejected us or the gospel totally or they would be fighting us every step of the way. Marriage would be hell. They would be looking for the quickest escape clause.

You never know what tomorrow holds. Each will be brought to the point of making an undeniable acceptance or rejection of gospel truth.

1st principle of the gospel is always faith. I like the verse in Hebrews and they died having not recieved their promise. This very thing you hope for may not be resolved in this life but the next. You can count on it. Don't worry if its not all worked out in this lifetime.