What if husband does not approve of conversion to Mormonism?

[Dulcie]

I am interested in converting to Mormonism, but my husband who is a Buddhist would not approve. I have tried to believe in the Buddhist faith, as he does ( who was raised as a Buddhist), but though I admire it, I cannot give up my Christian upbringing. I am wondering what others think about going ahead with a conversion to Mormonism, in spite of what my husband might think? Thank you for any advice!

[annewandering]

He would not 'allow' you permission to believe as you wish? The church is not in the business of causing discord in marriages.

[Backroads]

The Church is very "family first" in most matters, but my concern is the nature of your marriage where he would be unduly upset with you. I notice your stated religion is "Catholic"--is he okay with that, or is it of the upmost importance you convert to Buddhism? If it's the latter, he already married someone of a different religion... he'd have to suck it up.

My advice: Sit down with him and express your interest in converting to Mormonism. Be understanding of any doubts and worries he may have--this conversation will allow him the dignity of voicing his thoughts and allow you to come up with solutions and answers to any problems together.

[SanctitasDeo]

I was going to post something, but the internet ate it. Since Backroads said about the same thing I wanted to, I will second her words.

[RMGuy]

He would not 'allow' you permission to believe as you wish? The church is not in the business of causing discord in marriages.

If our spouses wanted to convert to another religion would we 'allow' them to believe as they wished?

I don't know this, but I seem to see a lot of individuals that express concern or condolences as opposed to support when a spouse leaves the church. We attempt to pray, example, cajole, love, and guide them back to "the Truth". Perhaps this isn't so different from what the OP's spouse is portraying. I have always found it fascinating that when individuals leave the faith of their fathers to join the LDS it is a cause for celebration amongst our membership. But if someone that was BiC, RM, etc., leaves the church for something else it is considered a tragedy.

I understand that we have "the Truth", but it does seem to me that sometimes we find it much more difficult to practice what we preach regarding agency and religious tolerance when the shoe is on the other foot. Just my $.02

-RM

[MrShorty]

Here's a Christian marriage counselor's thoughts on dealing with different faiths in marriage: Conflicts of Faith (Part 2) #1 We need to recognize that he is writing from the point of view that the health and strength of the marriage is more important than individual religious beliefs. That said, I think his conclusion is pretty believable:

But I also believe, from the experience of the thousands of couples I've counseled, that marriage (and children) will thrive only if spouses put each other's feelings before the dictates of their religious convictions. It doesn't mean that religious convictions must be abandoned. It simply means that you must live your faith in a way that accommodates the feelings of your spouse.

You might read through this and see how much of the article applies to you and your husband.

[Backroads]

If our spouses wanted to convert to another religion would we 'allow' them to believe as they wished?

I don't know this, but I seem to see a lot of individuals that express concern or condolences as opposed to support when a spouse leaves the church. We attempt to pray, example, cajole, love, and guide them back to "the Truth". Perhaps this isn't so different from what the OP's spouse is portraying. I have always found it fascinating that when individuals leave the faith of their fathers to join the LDS it is a cause for celebration amongst our membership. But if someone that was BiC, RM, etc., leaves the church for something else it is considered a tragedy.

I understand that we have "the Truth", but it does seem to me that sometimes we find it much more difficult to practice what we preach regarding agency and religious tolerance when the shoe is on the other foot. Just my $.02

-RM

I completely agree with you.

But when someone says "my spouse won't let me" I guess my mind jumps to a situation of "you do that and I leave you" levels--which I think is a big fat red flag to problems in the marriage. I believe this feeds into the quote MrShorty posted: caring for your spouse's feelings works both ways. Demanding a spouse put your feelings first while you sit back and bask in that care while your spouse continues to suffer is NOT okay.

I think being upset about a person changing religions, especially to one you don't care for, is perfectly natural. But rarely do we advise anyone to leave his/her spouse over leaving the LDS Church.

[garryw]

I've seen first hand situations where older teenagers (16-17) want to join the church but parents prohibit it. This is more easily solved because within a few years the teenagers become adults. It's hard to make generalizations when it comes to marital issues such as religion. Both marriage and baptism are ordained of God. But losing one to gain another seems like a bad outcome. Keep the one you have (marriage) and work towards the other (baptism).

[Backroads]

I've seen first hand situations where older teenagers (16-17) want to join the church but parents prohibit it. This is more easily solved because within a few years the teenagers become adults. It's hard to make generalizations when it comes to marital issues such as religion. Both marriage and baptism are ordained of God. But losing one to gain another seems like a bad outcome. Keep the one you have (marriage) and work towards the other (baptism).

I like that a lot.