Masturbation while repenting?

[SOJA]

I'm an 18 year old priest in my ward who had masturbation & pornography problems for a couple of years. A week ago I finally went to my bishop and told him about my sins. He told me what I need to do so I'm working on it.

I'm still in the repenting process but I get the urge to do those things again and I committed those sins again.

Is it ok for me to do it because I'm in the process?

What should I do now?

I know I made a horrible mistake.

Edited January 2, 2013 by SOJA

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

SOJA, I wouldn't call it a horrible mistake, mistake yes, but not horrible.

Talk to your Bishop, he will understand. So many young men in the church struggle with this issue. You are not alone, and you are not horrible. Your Bishop will understand, you aren't the first. The Bihsop can lovingly work with you to help you with this issue.

Remember--the Lord is willing to help you. I think too often we think we need to "do all we can do" and then the Lord will help....then we fail because we are depending on ourselves and not allowing the Lord to help.

Brad Wilcox gave a great talk about this--

Speeches

Here is an excerpt from Bro. Wilcox's talk:

A BYU student once came to me and asked if we could talk. I said, “Of course. How can I help you?”

She said, “I just don’t get grace.”

I responded, “What is it that you don’t understand?”

She said, “I know I need to do my best and then Jesus does the rest, but I can’t even do my best.”

She then went on to tell me all the things she should be doing because she’s a Mormon that she wasn’t doing.

She continued, “I know that I have to do my part and then Jesus makes up the difference and fills the gap that stands between my part and perfection. But who fills the gap that stands between where I am now and my part?”

She then went on to tell me all the things that she shouldn’t be doing because she’s a Mormon, but she was doing them anyway.

Finally I said, “Jesus doesn’t make up the difference. Jesus makes all the difference. Grace is not about filling gaps. It is about filling us.”

[rameumptom]

This is why it is called a process. If you reduce the amount of sin from daily to once a week, then you are making progress. Keep repenting and working on overcoming this addiction.

[mnn727]

Giving up something permanently is a hard thing to do so try this: Decide today that you will give it up for today -- one day is easy, right?

Tomorrow you can decide if you want to give it up for 1 day too, and so on-- One day at a time.

[Anddenex]

Is it ok for me to do it because I'm in the process? What should I do now?

No. It really isn't ok to continue in sin while repenting, however sometimes we fall short and the process of repentance begins again.

A person who is repenting of fornicating, is in the same boat. It isn't ok to fornicate while in the process of repenting. Yet, some of us fall short, and we need to begin again.

If we are truly repentant we would not make the same mistake while in the process.

I know I made a horrible mistake.

Yes, you made a mistake, however, speak with your Bishop, express your sincere desires, and seek to do it no more.

The Lord's counsel to the woman brought to him in adultery, "Sin no more." It was a command, not a well-it is ok if it happens again.

Dont' give up though, continue to overcome.

In light of my comment though, Ram shared an important aspect of overcoming also, and that is progress. Continue to progress to finally overcome.

Edited January 2, 2013 by Anddenex

[Bini]

There was a talk given last Sunday that really resonated with me. It focused on goals and how we can successfully achieve them through Christ. What I appreciated was the acknowledgment that while it is doable, many of us do not accomplish our goals through cold turkey, and that's okay. It's important to keep things in perspective and not set ourselves up for failure. We all learn and grow at different rates. For some, the repentance and healing process is immediate but for others it takes time. I have a family member that has smoked for years. He has tried quitting multiple times but continues to experience pitfalls. Despite this, he is determined to kick the habit and has faith in the Lord that he will beat his addiction. Have trust in the Lord and patience with yourself.

[Vort]

Masturbation is something you should avoid. It is bad. It is better to gain self-control and avoid it. But it is a part of our mortal situation; I doubt there are three normal, healthy men in a hundred over the age of 18 that have never masturbated. If you have the external equipment at hand level, it's almost unavoidable. So seek to quit, but don't imagine that masturbation is some huge and near-unforgivable sin. I believe it is not. Sin? Yes. Removes you from the Spirit? Yes. Need to stop? Yes. Vile, reprehensible, horribly awful desecration? I don't believe so, especially not for a young, unmarried man.

Pornography is a different matter. Pornography is vile. It corrupts your spirit and twists your view of women and sexuality. If you are involved in consuming pornography, go to your bishop immediately and start working with him to get past it. It's more addictive than crack cocaine and it utterly removes the Spirit from you. Avoid it as you would a deadly plague, because that is what it is. The fact that it is so common and accepted (even expected) in society today magnifies these dangers, just as AIDS would be far more dangerous if people didn't recognize it as deadly and accepted it as a normal part of existence -- which, by the way, it is.

In my personal opinion, the pornography usage is much more harmful to you than the masturbation. I claim no authority for this pronouncement except my own opinion, but there you have it.

[tumbledquartz]

Ether 12:27 - And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

It's not something that happens all at once, but over time, this weakness can become a strength. You can overcome it. Try not to get too discouraged when you stumble and fall, but try not to get too lax about the need to overcome, either. With the Lord's help, someday, you can get to where you can honestly say that you have put it behind you. Good luck.

[slippyslayer101]

I am so sorry because I know exactly what you are going through! It's so hard to overcome. I'm 18 and I've struggled off and on with these sexual sins since I was about 10. I just got back from attending an addiction recovery program meeting. While most of the addictions people were going through there sounded much worse than mine, it was still nice to hear from others. You don't even have to talk yourself. While I have asperger's and often have a hard time "feeling the spirit," I definitely felt good there. I felt like there was hope for me.

Also, be sure to recognize that overcoming this takes more than just willpower. For years I believed that while it was important to pray for help, it was essentially something I'd have to overcome by punishing myself more and more every time I did it. Now I've learned that I need to chop away at the root causes of the problem by letting the Holy Ghost enter my heart. Rather than being critical of the repetitive talks I always hear at church, I decided on Sunday to be more humble and see if there were things I could take out of them. While I didn't hear anything new, I still felt a lot more like I had the holy Ghost with me. And you will probably need the Holy Ghost to overcome this, if you're as addicted to it as I am/was (not sure if I've overcome it now, only time will tell).