BrianD Posted March 27, 2013 Report Share Posted March 27, 2013 Alright. Well. I guess this is my 1st official post on this site. I'm like 33 years old, single, getting old, pathetic, etc. So I joined a singles ward in Salt Lake City for old folks like myself. I've noticed some problems... First off, nobody seems to be dating anyone. ??? I'm not sure... but I'll share what I "think" is going on. The guys all assume that since the women are in their 30's-40's they've already decided they don't need a man in their life. Therefore, your chances of rejection or simply offending them by your presence dramatically increase. Nobody likes rejection. I'm not sure if this is common practice at the old folks ward, but last night I was at some activity, I asked a simple question to some random girl, and she gave me the snootiest answer. I was kinda' like "......." and walked out the door and went home. (the question was simply about some of the food she was helping to serve at the FHE) I rarely see anyone talk to anyone they don't know. And when *gasp* that actually happens, the women seem to take it as a sign of weirdness. I'm wondering if the women (maybe some of the guys too) aren't waiting for that PERFECT person to come along. Until they view the pinnacle of utter perfection standing before them... not talking I guess either, they shrug off every lesser being. I'm kind of new to the ward still. I'll see how things go. But I've NO JOKE, heard people say they've been in this ward for FIVE YEARS and they're still single. Something is not right here. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there is some major social dysfunction. -Brian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted March 27, 2013 Report Share Posted March 27, 2013 I recently had a probably unfair epiphany about singles in the Church, namely the men: They reach a certain age, invest in some fancy new-fangled electronic device... and that becomes their relationship. Too much is going on in life, and yes, I think you may be onto something. People may become complacent and involved in their lives and marriage might slip to the back burner. Unconciously. Unless you're interesting enough to provide a distraction, you will be ignored. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrianD Posted March 27, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2013 The problem is, I think anyone can be interesting if you take the time to know them. Underline the word "time". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alison_143 Posted March 27, 2013 Report Share Posted March 27, 2013 You can't be the only person who has observed how dysfunctional the Ward is. They probably all know it but are too scared to acknowledge it. I say you speak up and shake things up. Call people out on their bull, and ask women out on dates. Be the change that Ward needs! Having to go to Church with a bunch of people who are cynical and snooty is going to be a huge drag and it's obviously something you don't want, so don't let it be that way. Help those people lighten up!!! Being "old" and single doesn't have to suck and it definitely shouldn't be a cause of judgement from the rest of the Mormon world. It's the members that think being old and single is wrong that need the slap in the face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted March 27, 2013 Report Share Posted March 27, 2013 I'm like 33 years old, single, getting old, pathetic, etc. Wow I wish I could be 33 years "old." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrianD Posted March 27, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2013 Well fortunately they called me to be on the ward activities committee. I'm not sure how much of my ideas they'll be willing to accept, but I'm going to put some options on the table that may help people actually get to know each other. Gosh, all the activities do is give the same 4 people an excuse to show up and hang out with each other for an hour the same as last time and the time before and... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 27, 2013 Report Share Posted March 27, 2013 Whoa. You have a Ward Activities Committee! They took that calling out of our ward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrianD Posted March 27, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2013 Whoa. You have a Ward Activities Committee! They took that calling out of our ward. Oh my. O.o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 27, 2013 Report Share Posted March 27, 2013 I think singles wards are the only ones who have activities committees anymore. My cousin is the chairman in her singles branch. Might I suggest a speed dating activity? Tell them there will be food, and they will come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trubludru Posted March 27, 2013 Report Share Posted March 27, 2013 Their are still activities committees in singles wards, but they did remove them in family wards. And I agree, many of the singles I've met even starting around age 28 or 29 on up, tend to get a little stand offish and cynical about actual dating. But I think it is partly to protect themselves (you can only go through not being asked out or being rejected for so long before it starts to eat at you, or they have some unrealistic ideas like the perfect person is just going to come along without any effort on their part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetorian_Brow Posted March 29, 2013 Report Share Posted March 29, 2013 (edited) Better to be cynical than to be condescended or to accept church opinion that they are broken in some manner. Then again, flirting with someone who expects the man to initiate conversation, chase her down and flatter her while being limp as a Daughter of God, gets tiresome. Edited March 29, 2013 by Praetorian_Brow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrianD Posted March 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2013 Well in my ward you need to be handsome, charming, have plenty of dough, and be churchy. Nobody ever gets married there. Ok nevermind I know of one guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlimac Posted March 31, 2013 Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 (edited) Haha! I found my eternal compaion in that ward 28 years ago. Edited March 31, 2013 by carlimac Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrianD Posted March 31, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 WoW. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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