My Faith makes me stronger after heartbreak

[kiley]

So at 29 years of age I have on my mind probably the same thing as most girls my age in the Church, find the right person, settling down and having a family.

I am a first generation convert and I already have a daughter from before I joined the Church.

After a trail of long term unsuccessful relationships I turned to my Heavenly Father and ask to find THE ONE! I explained that I didnt want to date anyone that I knew was wrong for me (but carried on regardless as I had previously) nor did I want to be promiscuous in my actions. I wanted to find MY person, the one who makes my heart flutter and feels about me the way I do them. The one who shares my beliefs and we could have a family that we bring into the Church together. So the following day when I met Kyle I thought that this was it..........from the beginning we hit it off and as time progressed it truly seem like devine intervention. Despite the distance (me in England, him in Florida) we made it work....if anything it made me picture God as a pupeteer with us both on strings being put together from above. We had both been baptised at the same time and we would stay up all night every night talking about everything and nothing.

I had arranged to see him months apart but one day I just couldnt wait any longer and I booked a flight and went the next day. My flight took me via Toronto and got stranded there due to snow. Turns out I couldnt get to him for a few days......"Where can you get to?" he asked....the nearest place I could get to was Atlanta...."Get there and I'll pick you up." A 2 hour flight for me and a 9hour drive for him and we were together. If ever that was a trial we passed with flying colours.

Over the next 7months we carried on seeing each other and speaking everyday and night, we talked about our future and I invested a lot in trying to get my visa and a job there.

I remember even saying to God no trial is too big here.....if the blessing is to be together then it's worth it.

Kyle had moved to Florida to gain a relationship with his Father after many years apart. He could also see that back in his hometown his friends were not living the kind of life that would get him where he wanted to be. So for a while he had everything. A budding relationship with his Father, an amazing relationship (on every level- friendship, love, spiritual), his sister moved to be with him, good prospects, and was getting new friends).

When I was last there his relationship with his Father became strained and he decided that he was going to move back to his Hometown where his mum and friends remained. I was concerned but he assured me that everything would still be ok between us.

We went to Church and I felt the Spirit so strong when we were together. I had all my eggs in his one basket and could see how my life could be.

But when I returned to England within two days he had become distant, and a week later I got a txt of all things finishing it with me saying he couldnt have a long distance relationship anymore. No explanation nothing.

Anyone who has been through heartbreak can relate to how gut-wrenching it feels. Its the lack of respect by ignoring me and doing it through txt that was so out of character for this good Christian boy I had built him up to be.

Taking a week to construct an email, that started with anger "how could you treat me like this"......Im so glad I took the time to think about things. I carefully constructed a letter that said everything I wanted it to say; that i loved him, I didnt understand why he treated me the way I did but I fogave him. I forgave him because I wasnt angry, I was hurt. I thanked him for everything hed brought to my life and the love I had felt. I also thanked him for increasing my Faith and showing me the friends and family that God had put in my life for such occassions. I wished him well. He may not have had the curtosy to have even read it but as someone at Church reminded me......everyone has agency. He chose this path. Now i dont know what influenced him, whether it was another girl, hos friends or Satan himself.

But I try to look on it now that when he was there with no friends......I was put into his life. I served him. I hope, even for that short time I was a good influence on his life. I dont know if this is selfish but I hope he remembers the love we had, that for me was very real. And although it hurts to think that was my only purpose in his life I am glad for the time we had.

When people said this would make me strong I went through a stage thinking "Id rather be weak and happy than strong." And it was hard hearing "it wasnt meant to be" etc

So to save myself I have thrown myself to God. Trying to put my Faith back in him. Trusting that there is bigger and better things out there for me.

I I have found great strength in the sotry of Lot's wife. For those of you who dont remember it I strongly recommend you re-read it......his wife look back at the city of Sodem and gets turned into a pilar of salt?!?! (ring a bell)

The moral of the sotry is DONT LOOK BACK!!!! Move forward and trust that good things lie ahead.

There are times I feel sad. But I have great people in my life. I love the song "God gave me you" by Blake Shelton....and for me this is very apt....God gave me these people to help me.....he also gave me other people so that I could help them.

And for this lesson I am truly grateful....and everytime I remember this I feel stronger.

I love my Heavenly Father and the people he puts into my life.

[Still_Small_Voice]

It must be difficult finding a Latter-Day Saint to date in the United Kingdom. Do not give up hope.

"The Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants; and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate." -- Psalms 34:22

[ditd]

Kiley, I am sorry to hear about your heartbreak but my honest advice would be for you to not let it stop you from trying to trust and love again, only use it as a springboard to make you wiser in your future choice.

I too am a convert and I am going to be married in a few weeks but before my fiance met me she had a similar thing happen. She met a guy where things seemed to progress in their relationship then out of the blue he just sent her a message dropping her and did not reply.

I know for her it was really tough and was a large part of her cause for depression. From what she tells me it was confusing and painful, frustrating and lonely.

Years down the line however we met online. 10months later we are going to be sealed in the temple (29th June). To her I am all that she wants and needs. We had to work a lot to overcome her initial anxiety that the same would happen again but we can both see that our pasts relationships prepared us for this.

Do not hold your anger but know that your heavenly father will bless you with an eternal companion who is what you need, things won't be perfect but they will be worth it :)

It must be difficult finding a Latter-Day Saint to date in the United Kingdom. Do not give up hope.

There are quite a few LDS in the UK. There are dating sites and lots of conventions which I would really recommend looking on facebook and talking to stake YSA reps, it was only when I was pro-active at finding somebody that I sound my fiance...

[chiccam]

Thanks for sharing your story of faith and strength. God no doubt has great things in store for you. I love your open-mindedness. That guy is missing out on something wonderful!

[Praetorian_Brow]

Its your job to fine The One, not God's.

As mentioned before, be proactive and you will be surprised at the results.