Inactivity

[the_jason]

Let me ask you a question. How much do you reach out to others? It's a 2 way street. When I was in the EQ presidency I'd hear people complaining about home teachers never coming over, yet they were the same ones who didn't do their own home teaching.

Watch out for stones crashing through your glass house.

[rosie321]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I'm fully aware that my salvation is my own, but I always hear such great stories about how others have reached out, and since we moved back to our home town, we haven't seen that type of kindness in other members. Even when we did go to church. I'm hoping this new ward is different.

Those stories really do create a warm and fuzzy LDS picture. But I find myself concerned about the people who need someone to constantly be bringing them back or only go back when someone reaches out.

Consider yourself blessed by the Lord because he is giving you your own spirit led, personal tutorial. The other members are getting it from someone else.

You have come to the conclusion you needed to go back without all the public pomp and circumstance. They are getting theirs now. Your pomp and circumstance may come in the last day when you are found faithful by the Lord and are rewarded by Him for your diligence and obedience.

As before maybe God is placing this concern in your heart so that you might help His other lost sheep who may not return any other way. He has plans for you sister:)

[Jia]

Back when I was active (in my youth mainly) I reached out to the inactive girls in our ward. It was so great. A lot of the active girls that were in my class (I was Laurel Pres) didn't like me very much cause one of the activities I planned was to bring gifts to the inactive girls during the Christmas season and the girls in my class would rather have played dodgeball with the guys.

Before we were married, I was a ward missionary as well. I loved the calling.

Watch out for stones crashing through your glass house.

What exactly are you trying to get at by saying that?

[BenRaines]

I always counsel others that if you want friends then be a friend. Always has worked for me.

Ben Raines

[the_jason]

Back when I was active (in my youth mainly) I reached out to the inactive girls in our ward. It was so great. A lot of the active girls that were in my class (I was Laurel Pres) didn't like me very much cause one of the activities I planned was to bring gifts to the inactive girls during the Christmas season and the girls in my class would rather have played dodgeball with the guys.

Before we were married, I was a ward missionary as well. I loved the calling.

Watch out for stones crashing through your glass house.

What exactly are you trying to get at by saying that?

I don't care what you did when you were active. I'm talking about now. If you want others to reach out to you then you have to reach out to them. It sounds like you are blaming your inactivity on your lack of visitors. You get out of it what you put in to it.

[Jia]

No I'm not. I thought I was quite clear on that. I'm going to go back. I WILL be going back. I don't blame others. Have I had bad experiences? Yes. Have those affected my choices in the past? Yes. Do I blame others? No. Because it was my choice.

I was just saying that having someone reach out would be nice to experience.

[LT04]

I was just thinking how combative people in this forum can be in regards to your statement that it would make you (Jia) feel like you were in an inspiration Ensign story or something then other people misinterpret what you meant and tell you to get off your duff.... then I looked over to the left hand part of the screen in the area that has the individuals information and I noticed on your Jia that your membership date to this forum is 6 APR 2007. This is a very important date to the church. The church believes this to be the date Christ was born and resurrected. Also this same date brought about the beginning of this dispensation via the restoration of the church. 6 APR 2000 was the day the Palmyra Temple was dedicated (where the sacred grove is if any one is isn't familiar with it)

So here is your warm and fuzzy Ensign story. You felt compelled to become active and seek help and guidance on the very same day the church holds so highly for its new beginnings.

On this note let us not contend one with another over petty strifes, but let us depart in peace filled with love and appreciation for one another in hopes this young sister of the church can find the courage, inspiration guidance and support she came here seeking from us. May G-d dissolve the contention that has arised here in an attempt to drive this young woman away and soften the harts of all this young woman comes across that they may be compelled to lend a helping hand and not cast a judgment unto her. I say these things unto to you brethren and sisters in the name of Jesus The Christ, Amen.

-LT04

[rosie321]

LT04 you said lots of great things.

Speaking for myself, yes I probably did come on pretty strong. I didn't mean to knock Jia down as she was trying to recommit herself to go. I'm excited that she's making choices that will in the long run make her happier. She obviously wants to go and put things in order. She probably posted more for strength then for the what to do part.

As I said before I have myself been inactive at periods. So maybe I'm acting like a reformed addict or something. I found that I had to go back myself not for anyone else. No one ever came to my house and said please come back or brought over stuff etc. I did not have my Ensign moment either even though I had tried my best to always give them to others. I had to get over that. But as stated in the last post I think it made me stronger. Her comments concerned me and I couldn't help but point out that the same thing maybe happening to her. I did not want her to feel that her lack of Ensign moment may have nothing to do with her. She just needed to do what was right. I did not want Satan to use that against her and to make it clear that she can do it on her own and she may even be stronger for it. She will also be a strong force in being able to help out others along the way and give them their Ensign moments. But she can't do it if she's not there and not acquainted with their needs..

I was just thinking how combative people in this forum can be in regards to your statement that it would make you (Jia) feel like you were in an inspiration Ensign story or something then other people misinterpret what you meant and tell you to get off your duff.... then I looked over to the left hand part of the screen in the area that has the individuals information and I noticed on your Jia that your membership date to this forum is 6 APR 2007. This is a very important date to the church. The church believes this to be the date Christ was born and resurrected. Also this same date brought about the beginning of this dispensation via the restoration of the church. 6 APR 2000 was the day the Palmyra Temple was dedicated (where the sacred grove is if any one is isn't familiar with it)

So here is your warm and fuzzy Ensign story. You felt compelled to become active and seek help and guidance on the very same day the church holds so highly for its new beginnings.

On this note let us not contend one with another over petty strifes, but let us depart in peace filled with love and appreciation for one another in hopes this young sister of the church can find the courage, inspiration guidance and support she came here seeking from us. May G-d dissolve the contention that has arised here in an attempt to drive this young woman away and soften the harts of all this young woman comes across that they may be compelled to lend a helping hand and not cast a judgment unto her. I say these things unto to you brethren and sisters in the name of Jesus The Christ, Amen.

-LT04

[Gwen]

earlier in this topic i made the comment to be a leader instead of a follower. i dearly hope that was not interpreted as get off your duff. that is by no means what i meant. i agree that those stories and having ppl reach out is wonderful. i can by no means speak for your area, but i'd like to offer a bit from another perspective.

most ppl here already know i'm in a very small unit. we have 3 active mel. priesthood holders. it's up to them to do all the ht. of the rs, we have few to do all the vt, those few are holding callings that are very demanding (pres. of auxiliries and such). we have many inactives, that aren't contributing to the work load, but still should be visited and we are still accountable. add to that the many times we've been turned away, had ppl hide from us (like they often do to the missionaries), gotten blamed for someone elses choice to not come to church, etc. it's all very draining. visiting the inactives begins to become something you resent, something that you think of your brothers and sisters with frustraition rather than the love and compassion that we should have. not saying such actions are right or that it's not a huge red flag as to things that i need to change in my life. and in no way think that such actions are any more excusable than the actions of the inactives i've described. however, all that being said we are a friendly branch. we may not visit all the inactives but when one shows up and says i want to start coming again they are greated warmly and ppl are there to help in anyway they can until they are strong again or they say i changed my mind go away. we have so many followers here, few leaders. it's hard. maybe there is someone in your ward that is ready and willing to reach out to you but has yet to know that you will be receptive. it may not be a desire to not reach out to you but so overscheduled already that vt/ht may not be at the top of their list right now. we are all inperfect ppl doing the best we can. but if you show up, you express that desire to be there, maybe that hand of friendship will come. i don't know. i just know what it would mean to me to actually have an inactive come into church and say i want you to visit me instead of being met with exhausting resistance.

i hope that this makes some kind of since. not excusing my feelings or actions, but maybe another perspective will help you have the encouragement to preceed with your choice. it has definately given me some things to think about and the changes i need to pray about. i do commend you for the choice you've made. we all have a hard life, just because someone is active doesn't mean they are't having their own trials. i wish you the best in this decision.

[rosie321]

Good points Almom

The field is ripe unto harvest but the laborers are few. Thank God for the few laborers there are.

[LT04]

My intent wasn't to hurt feelings by any means. When I decided to come back to the fold after years of inactivity one of the first things I was asked (by the man who is now my bishop but thats besides the point) Why I didn't come back sooner. I felt a little hurt b/c it seemed to me like I'm here now where were you yesterday, last week, month or even year? I just felt like I was the only one who made an effort and was being criticsized for it. I know he meant well and it was an honest question that came across harsh.

My post was intended to to receive our sister with warm reception and enlighten the rest how easy it is to be potentially hurtful when 1 ) you just have honest questions (like the one I illustrated above) and 2 ) a member just returning is already at DEFCON 1. Rosie like you said Jia (in my opinion) isn't here for instruction just an extended support system.

I hope that set the record straight,

-LT04

[Jia]

LT,

I don't have time to write out how thankful I am for your kind words. I guess you got it right. While I did want advice on what to do, I think I just came here for moral support. Someone to say, "Yeah, this is what you should be doing, good job, you're welcomed back." instead of criticism I get from members I know, and family.

I appreciate the welcome, from all of you. Thanks!

[LT04]

Jia,

After I became active again I started to slip again and this was where I came b/c I wanted an outside opinion that was unfamiliar with my ward and I. I thought a new set of eyes could point me in the right direction. I think it was Rosie who told me I already knew the answer, I just needed the push.

Your situation seemed a little to familiar,

-LT04

[the_jason]

Jia,

I apologize if you felt I was critical. I'm a very logical thinker and I put thinks bluntly, not compassionately. It's all part of the pride of which I need to repent. I've been in your shoes and should have been more understanding.

At the same time I don't believe in sugar-coating things. I believe it's better to be blunt and honest so that people will have no doubt what you feel, rather than beat around the bush and still leave people in doubt.

Again, I apologize.

[Jia]

Hey everyone, it's been a while so I thought I would update. We kinda got into some trouble with our apartment and had to move back in with my inlaws. Been so stressed and my husband is about to lose his job that we haven't made it back yet. That, and I may be having surgery sometime in the next few weeks.

I did however watch Work and the Glory all day yesterday, and left it on for my husband to watch. He always told me that if there's anything in the Church he is more certain about, it's the Joseph Smith story that touches him the most. So I'm hoping to spark something.

I also went to the 4th of July picnic that my ward was holding at a park. It was fun but I felt so out of place. I watched as everyone mingled with one another and I knew no one. A few people came over to say hello, which was nice, but I sat there with my mother in law who surrounded herself among all the new moms in the ward with their babies. Being around that was hard because hubby and I have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years now and no success, so it's emotional.

I wished my husband could have been there. Then I wouldn't have felt like a child dragged their by her parents, which is kinda how I felt. It's a slow process, but I'm getting there. It's just so hard to go from one life to another and leave everything behind, which I know is what I should do, but it's still hard. Especially when my husband isn't going at the same pace as I am.

[Gabelma]

You are very brave - I hope you get to go back again,

Charley

[wordzee]

Lately life has just been horrible. We fight more often, I personally feel empty, and life is giving us a raw deal. We both agree it's because we don't go to church.

I agree. However, if you just go back to church, you will find a reason to stay home again. What you should consider doing is 'going to Heavenly Father'. Build your foundation on the Rock! Pray! Read your scriptures! And go back to church. And remember, guilt is only good to motivate you to change.

(for the life of me, I cannot change the following paragraph back to black! So, please know that the following paragraph is a quote by Jia! - sorry for the confusion! NEWBIE here!)

Financially we're desperate right now (both full time students and husband works 50+ hours weekly) and yet ends are not being met. We've been told to go to our local Bishop (with whom we still haven't met yet since we moved) to see if we can get some assistance, but we're both too embarassed to do so since we haven't even attended church in over a year.

this will be hard to do and believe. Pay your tithing! The minute you get a check, regardless of your perceived circumstance, write a check for 10% before taxes, walk it over to the Bishops! What you're doing isn't working. This will!!!! I promise!!! Heavenly Father promises!

I just don't even know where to begin to fix things. Any suggestions? Anyone know how we're feeling? If so, how did you deal with it?

I'm a convert. Joined at 18. By 22, I was inactive. I always knew Jesus was the Christ but I had become disillusioned. My conversion was incredible! Anyway, we all have a walk in this life. You just don't beat yourself to death!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's key! Get on your knees TOGETHER and start there. Then, sit back and watch the miracles happen! But understand that it's no different than breaking your back. There is a healing process and it takes effort! Lot's of effort. Take notes! I mean that. Pay attention to the miracles that happen. Pay attention to the Good things! What you focus on is key - it's your choice.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[cchrissys1]

i have had my problems with being as active as i should. start with sunday meetings, then work up to every thing else like morning and evening prayers. then family home evening, then daily scripture reading, ect. do it before the kids come along. if you don't do everything start by doing something and keep from back sliding on that one thing and that should keep you from becoming inactive. it does me. I make sure i say my prayers even if i start to miss suday meetings, ect.