Life After Formal Council

[aeroprod]

I just went through the roughest time (emotionally and spiritually) of my life these past 10 months.  I was placed on informal probation for 4 months that then turned into formal probation via a disciplinary council by my bishopric.  I went through a lot of changes to get to where I am today.  About 6 or 7 weeks ago I received a strong witness that I had received forgiveness.  It took another 6-7 weeks to finally reconvene the council and lift my restrictions (which happened a few days ago).  I immediately obtained my temple recommend and plan my first visit this Saturday. 

 

However, I don't feel like I was expecting to feel. I was thinking the whole time that when it ended there would be great shouts of joy and jumping up and down.  I didn't feel anything like that.  I know I have obtained the forgiveness needed, but I kind of feel weird about attending the temple or functioning again in the ward.  I realize I will probably never serve in any leadership capacity again....good thing I like Primary.  I have accepted that, but for some reason I am struggling with getting back into what I used to do (I have alway been VERY active in church).  In fact I started tearing up when I put my consecrated oil vial back on my keychain on Wednesday morning.  It just seems so unreal.  All the Bishop said was "we have determined to lift all restrictions".  That was it.  I thought I would be relieved, but I didn't feel what I was expecting to feel.

 

Has anyone else had a tough time moving back into "active duty" after having been away for some time even when they know they have done everything to repent? 

[NeuroTypical]

I spent 6 years inactive, and did much searching before coming back.  I remember choosing to take the sacrament again for the first time, the first home teaching assignment, the first calling, all those firsts.   It was a little different for me, because I had never really taken things seriously before that, so a lot of it really was meaningful for the first time.

 

So I guess I can maybe relate a little, but not too much.

 

Glad to see you here anyway!

[Str8Shooter]

Please don't take this wrong, but I am going to be blunt.  Two things:

 

 

  I realize I will probably never serve in any leadership capacity again.... 

 

Question-  Is that supposed to be a bad thing?

 

Statement-  Just because you said that you are probably going to serve in leadership again.

 

Anyway......

 

Forgiveness is complete and total.  Forgive yourself.  It is going to take time so don't worry about it.  If you need more help, go to the temple.  The Lord has promised that if you are keeping the commandments, he will make himself manifest to you at the temple.  Ask him for help, in the temple.

 

Go to the temple.

[Suzie]

Question-  Is that supposed to be a bad thing?

 

 

Generally speaking (and not about the specific post you was quoting) I think sometimes in Church culture, some members equal leadership callings with a person being somehow more worthy, more intelligent, more important or more special. "Oh he is a Bishop!" "Oh she is the Relief Society President!". I don't think they mean anything bad, it is just the way it is sometimes and how some members perceive callings, like if it is a career job where you get promotions.

 

After many years serving in leadership positions, I moved to a new ward. A few months later, I saw a couple of people from my old ward who I haven't seen for a long time. Guess what was the question they asked me when they saw me again? lol Yes, "What is your calling?" with a big smile on their face lol.

 

Determined to laugh a little bit, I said solemnly: "A mother ". Their smile turned to surprise and both replied seriously : "Ohhhhh, okay".