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shiverandwaffles

Can I change YSA wards?

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Hi,

 

Here's the rundown on my situation... I am a new convert (about 6 months). I really enjoyed the first bishop I had, but after I got baptized he was released. The new bishop and I don't see eye to eye. I feel that he puts me down in our meetings. I know that they talk about me in bishopric meetings because a close friend is the secretary (which is fine) but he doesn't seem to remember my name. Our ward is pretty small for Utah, only 15 people. I think I am probably being a baby, but these things bother me because I feel that I am not good enough to receive his attention nor for him to make time to talk to me.

 

Normally, I would just let this go and toughen up. But I got engaged in April and am waiting so that I can go through the temple in March. I know that these next six months are going to be hard (the law of chastity is a hard one for me). I want someone who will hold me more accountable and will be by my side more than this bishop.

 

I live in Utah where there are MANY YSA wards. Would it be bad to switch to a different ward until March so that I can set myself up for success (I know it's on my shoulders, but I'd like the support of a bishop)? If so, what is the reason I give the church for me switching wards since my address hasn't changed? Thank you!

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15 people in your whole ward?

I saw a ward like that in SE Idaho. It wasn't long before it was folded into another ward. Such wards also tend to be associated with Universities and have populations that go up and down rather rapidly as people move in and out with school.

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Our single's branch in Idaho has about 25 YA's who attend regularly, but there are more than that on the rolls. 

 

At any rate, you could try the family ward you'd be assigned to, or ask for permission to go to your fiancee's branch/ward, if she's in a different one. It might be good for the two of you to meet regularly with the bishop together, to keep you on track. 

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[quote name="shiverandwaffles" post="790200" timestamp="14102267HavHi,

 

Here's the rundown on my situation... I am a new convert (about 6 months). I really enjoyed the first bishop I had, but after I got baptized he was released. The new bishop and I don't see eye to eye. I feel that he puts me down in our meetings. I know that they talk about me in bishopric meetings because a close friend is the secretary (which is fine) but he doesn't seem to remember my name. Our ward is pretty small for Utah, only 15 people. I think I am probably being a baby, but these things bother me because I feel that I am not good enough to receive his attention nor for him to make time to talk to me.

 

Normally, I would just let this go and toughen up. But I got engaged in April and am waiting so that I can go through the temple in March. I know that these next six months are going to be hard (the law of chastity is a hard one for me). I want someone who will hold me more accountable and will be by my side more than this bishop.

 

I live in Utah where there are MANY YSA wards. Would it be bad to switch to a different ward until March so that I can set myself up for success (I know it's on my shoulders, but I'd like the support of a bishop)? If so, what is the reason I give the church for me switching wards since my address hasn't changed? Thank you!

Ugh. How do I say this. Well, first things first. Welcome to the gospel of Jesus Christ! There is so much to learn and so much joy to be had. The adversary really wants you to fail right now. He knows that if he doesn't get you now, you are going to start a family. He HATES that. He is going to be working really hard, as hard as he can, to get you. Conflict with church leaders is one of his best tools.

It would be bad to switch to a different ward without the approval of the stake. It may not seem like a big deal to go somewhere else because you are still going to church, but it is a big deal. Your bishop, even if you don't get along, is still your bishop. He is responsible for for you, not the other bishops. He is entitled to receive revelation to assist you in your trials.

Bishops are not called because they are the best leader or the most spiritual individual. They are called because that is who the Lord has chosen to serve. It is true that they are to be an example to the ward, but they are not perfect examples. Every member has something to learn from each bishop, and every bishop has something to learn from the members. Just as each apostle has different talents and weaknesses, each bishop brings talents and weaknesses to his calling. Be patient with them.

I doubt you are being a baby and that you need to toughen up. Have you made an official appointment and talked with your bishop in his office about your concerns? If you have, follow his counsel.

So you need someone who will hold you more accountable and that will be by your side more than your bishop? I know of someone who wants to be by your side a lot more than your bishop. In fact, they want to be by your side....forever. You and your future spouse should be able to work this out. It's not going to be easy, but you can do it. Chastity is a tough thing for nearly everyone before they are married. Before my spouse and I were married, we determined that if we couldn't keep things under control, we would have to call things off. We came up with a "chastity clock" to help. It was simply an alarm clock that was set to go off at a time that would keep us from staying up together after the holy ghost went to bed. I suggest that you take the same approach and NO you can't use the snooze button. It's off limits. Make more rules, you and your future spouse, in order to protect yourselves from danger. If you have to make a rule that you can never be alone together, DO IT.

I wish the best for you and I hope that this helps.

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Welcome to the Church (and forum)!
 

I understand your concern/frustration.  All I will say is that your bishop is new.  There's usually quite a learning curve for them and it takes a while to figure out how to do/go about everything.  They also tend to be quite overwhelmed with all that needs to be done and kept track of.  Also, not every bishop is a natural leader so give him a (second or third) chance and let him know how eager you are to get his support and insights.

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Who cares whether there is a specific rule on changing wards. Just go to the family ward with your fiancé. If anyone asks, just say you prayed and felt that the family ward was where you should be. If they force you to be somewhere you are uncomfortable, then they are being hypocrital. Most importantly, never, under any circumstances, tell them how you really feel about the ysa ward or any of the members. That's just asking for problems.

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