I'm becoming obessed with a tragedy

[anatess2]

3 hours ago, Backroads said:

I would direct to a few years' back where an incident happened relatively close to home, so to speak. A friend of a friend scenario. I felt just so sad, wrote a card of sympathy, etc. Then I think it did turn into morbid curiosity, and now a fear that I will slip my mind and forget to take my daughter to preschool despite the fact I have a sticker of my girls on my steering wheel and I always give my purse to my eldest to play with in the car.

 

I think this is a version of the same thing I've been through.  I was around 8 years old when my seatmate in school died of leukemia.  She was the first dead person I've ever seen.  When I became a teenager and had my first monthly flow, I started thinking of her again.  And then I started having dreams of being dead and the coffin is being closed over me.  Then it got to where I would think even when I was awake.  It finally stopped after a while. 

Then about 20 years ago in my hometown, an SUV got hit by a truck on the bridge causing it to fly over the side rails to fall into the water.  The passengers died.  A few years later, I started thinking of that incident.  Then I started having dreams of falling off the bridge.  It got so bad that it creeps into my head even when I'm awake.  I even went and researched how to survive a car falling into the water and bought the tool thingee that breaks the window.  Then I found out I was already 3 months pregnant...

I can't really prove that those 2 events were related to the hormonal changes that I was going through at the time.  It just seems like such a coincidence.

In any case, until today, I still won't drive the car in the lanes on the rightmost and leftmost side of that bridge because it just gives me the heebie jeebies.

Edited May 17, 2016 by anatess2

[Blackmarch]

On 5/12/2016 at 3:31 PM, Backroads said:

Those awful hot car deaths.

I am becoming preoccupied with a fear of this happening. When I had my first kid, I implemented a number of tricks to help keep myself from forgetting leaving one of my kids in the back of the car. There's no good reason why that shouldn't be sufficient.

But I can't get my mind off this sort of thing. I actually look up cases, read about them multiple times a week. It's not pleasant, of course. I'm really struggling with putting things in a realistic, sensible perspective instead of making myself sick over tragedies that are happening to other people.

I used to intentionally avoid reading about other's tragedies. Now I'm drawn to it and I hate the way it makes me feel. Not a "mourn with those who mourn" scenario.

Any advice? Should I be seeing someone about this?

ya it sounds like it's edging towards a disorder sort of thing.... well for one thing i'd stop looking up the cases that sounds like an enabler feedback loop you are doing to yourself. - find something else to fill that time. try to find something that comforts you. I'd also suggest a lot of prayer.

if you can't seem to get it under control then ya talking to a professional might be a good idea. Figure out how to untrain yourself. generally its when a habit or action gets to the point where it significantly interferes with your daily life is when it gets considered to be a disorder.

so if you find something that allows you to live with it or negate it mentally in some fashion then use it (dunno maybe park in shade, leave some windows cracked... perhaps implement a system that is more involved than just looking at a sticker.... a professional would probably have a better idea on how to deal with these sort of mental things).
 

 

Edited July 9, 2016 by Blackmarch