Babies! Could It Be Time For Me?

[Fiannan]

Finish college first. Take it from someone who didn't.

Not sure about that. In my undergrad studies I did not have children and did okay in grades but certainly was not on the honor´s list. In my graduate studies I had three kids, worked and pulled off a 4.08 average in a difficult program.

[onyx]

Hi Sibeluver,

It is a wonderful thing that you have found the desire to be a mother.

The timing of it however really is between you, your husband and the Lord.

It would also be wise to seek some counsel from those who love you and know you the most....your parents.

I remember clearly the advise our Bishop gave us when we were first married.

He said:

"Don't be in a hurry to have a baby and don't be in a hurry not to have a baby."

What he was really saying was that it was up to us and we should use wisdom.

Every situation is different, and your situation is certainly different to what mine was.

I was the breadwinner and my husband was finishing his education.

There was no way he could support us if I fell pregnant....

So it was 3 years after we married before we had our first child.

Like you, I had dreams about my children before they arrived.

I dreamed my son when I was still single...so it was many years before I saw fulfillment.

I guess what I am trying to say is, for me, the dreams didn't mean that the children were to come to me immediately.

But, again.....everyone is different and my experience is not your experience.

I did take parenting classes before I became a mother and I'm grateful that I did.

I recommend that path.

Have a heart-to-heart talk to your mother and see what she has to say...

I wish you all the very best blessings...Onyx

[shanstress70]

You do know that he would never be disappointed if you choose to have children and not yet be finnacally set...

I guess it depends on what 'financially set' means... I have to disagree that God would be happy with someone having a child if they couldn't provide necessities for the child. It's one thing if it just happens and wasn't planned but for someone to plan to have a child, regardless of not being able to provide, to me that is being irresponsible.

[Elphaba]

Most things I disagree with my Sister on, but this is not one of them. You are young and it is going to be hard. But the best things in life are hard.

P.S. I think my Sis was asleep when she wrote her comments. She doesn't agree with what I think, that often. And she didn't spell all her words, correctly. Have the aliens taken over her mind? Just kidding, I love you Sis.

Yes, dear brother, as usual you are right. I had probably taken my sleep meds, which do make me careless, and I am so baby hungry for grandbabies, I threw away my usual good sense and said "Of course!" "Have babies!" "Have lots and lots and lots of babies!" "Babies!" "Babies!" and "More Babies!"

It was the drugs.

But that doesn't mean I didn't sincerely think it would be lovely if Sibulover could have her baby, because I did.

But, it was the drugs.

Love you bro.

Sis

[Jason]

<div class='quotemain'>

Finish college first. Take it from someone who didn't.

Not sure about that. In my undergrad studies I did not have children and did okay in grades but certainly was not on the honor´s list. In my graduate studies I had three kids, worked and pulled off a 4.08 average in a difficult program.

I was just the reverse. I was an honor student until we had kids, then I went to work full time to support my new stay at home wife and daughter, and quickly became a B+ student.

We also rushed into the family mode, having our first child in less than 3 years of marriage. If I were giving out advice, I'd tell everyone to postpone children until they're at LEAST 28 years old (preferably older IMO). Give yourself ten years to learn how to be an adult before you become a parent.

[mom42]

<div class='quotemain'>

You do know that he would never be disappointed if you choose to have children and not yet be finnacally set...

I guess it depends on what 'financially set' means... I have to disagree that God would be happy with someone having a child if they couldn't provide necessities for the child. It's one thing if it just happens and wasn't planned but for someone to plan to have a child, regardless of not being able to provide, to me that is being irresponsible.

I don't even know why this is being addressed. It's obvious these two are not irresponsible. If they're motivated enough to go to school and work they are not the kind of people who would not beable to provide for their children. I know there are millons of people who are irresponsible and have children and live on welfare and do nothing with their lives, this is not the case, I'm sure. My husband and I are not college educated but we gave our family a good life. We live in a nice home, middleclass neighborhood, our kids dressed nice, they were envolved in sports, dance etc. It wasn't always easy but when there's a will there's a way and I was even a proud stay at home mom. I used my creative talents and did everthing myself. Today my kids are growen and I work a few hours out of the home and I also have my own in home business and make goods that I sell to a store. I have never had any regrets, but I'm speaking for myself of course because this is exactly what I wanted. The most unselfish people have children and choose to be parents. There's very little time to think about yourself. To serve and give of yourself 24/7 changes people in amazing ways. No matter what anyone says having children is the most UNSELFISH thing a person can do because it's never, ever ending. The responsibility is forever. When the time is right for you and your husband do it Tara and happy parenting.

[Guest WhoShotJS]

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