Family Home Evening

[Daniel]

Our family still has very young children, do any of you have suggestions on how we would conduct FHE in a way toddlers could understand? We have tried many times to have a spiritual lesson and sing and have an activity, but its kinda lame when its just you and your wife that understand whats going on. How can we as parents get/give the spiritual nourishment our family needs but at the same time make it something the toddlers want to be part of and understand?

QuorumPrez

[Aluwid]

Our family still has very young children, do any of you have suggestions on how we would conduct FHE in a way toddlers could understand? We have tried many times to have a spiritual lesson and sing and have an activity, but its kinda lame when its just you and your wife that understand whats going on. How can we as parents get/give the spiritual nourishment our family needs but at the same time make it something the toddlers want to be part of and understand?

QuorumPrez

I wish I could give you some good advice but in truth I'm in need of some myself. Our daughters are 2 and 1, at this point we have just read to them from an illustrated Bible. Which pretty much consists of us showing them the chapter picture and reading while they run around in circles and play with their toys. I think at this point that we should treat it like we do family prayer and attending church. Yeah it's true that they aren't getting much out of it yet, but they are learning good habits that will make it easier for them to do the day to day things that are needed to maintain faith in the church.

[jadams_4040]

Our family still has very young children, do any of you have suggestions on how we would conduct FHE in a way toddlers could understand? We have tried many times to have a spiritual lesson and sing and have an activity, but its kinda lame when its just you and your wife that understand whats going on. How can we as parents get/give the spiritual nourishment our family needs but at the same time make it something the toddlers want to be part of and understand?

QuorumPrez

Good luck "dad"! Our kids are all grown now, the only secret anybody can tell you for sure

is that you will need to adjust to every child in a differant manner. like i said....Good luck Dad.

.

[Daniel]

Good luck "dad"! Our kids are all grown now, the only secret anybody can tell you for sure

is that you will need to adjust to every child in a differant manner. like i said....Good luck Dad.

.

I wonder if a family activity would work out better? Like going to the park or playing outside together.

QuorumPrez

[MorningStar]

Hi QP!

FHE has been a real struggle for us with small kids, but the thing that worked best was planning short lessons. The lesson doesn't have to be an hour long. Just do whatever fits your kids' attention span and then go have fun. :) We like to do activities that go along with the holidays. Every year we go to this cool garden of Christmas lights and the kids love it. In October, we'll go to a pumpkin patch together, maybe spend another FHE making our Halloween costumes after our lesson, and treats of course.

One time we had a lesson on honesty when our kids started lying to us. During the lesson, I kept telling the kids there was a spider on the wall behind them (don't do this if your kids are terrified of spiders - mine aren't) and after a while, they stopped looking. I asked them, "Why don't you believe me?" My son said, "Because you keep lying to us." I said, "And when you lie to me, I don't believe you anymore." It made a pretty good impact on them.

Even if you don't have a lesson planned, you can still call it FHE. Once you make the habit, your kids will ask for it when they get older. This is really nice for me, especially since we rarely had it growing up with my dad not being involved. Once we were older, we weren't really interested in having it, so it's cool seeing how kids can really get into it. Tonight we went back to school shopping, which wasn't that great, but it was something.

Here's a funny idea. Some friends of mine had a lesson on reverence. They had the kids teach a lesson and the parents spent the entire time being really loud and running around. It made the kids REALLY mad and then the parents made their point. I love that idea. We're definitely going to use that one.

When our kids were really little, we would do things like go for walks and find things that God made, like rocks, pinecones, animals, etc. They really liked it. I hope some of those things are helpful.

[Daniel]

Hi QP!

FHE has been a real struggle for us with small kids, but the thing that worked best was planning short lessons. The lesson doesn't have to be an hour long. Just do whatever fits your kids' attention span and then go have fun. :) We like to do activities that go along with the holidays. Every year we go to this cool garden of Christmas lights and the kids love it. In October, we'll go to a pumpkin patch together, maybe spend another FHE making our Halloween costumes after our lesson, and treats of course.

One time we had a lesson on honesty when our kids started lying to us. During the lesson, I kept telling the kids there was a spider on the wall behind them (don't do this if your kids are terrified of spiders - mine aren't) and after a while, they stopped looking. I asked them, "Why don't you believe me?" My son said, "Because you keep lying to us." I said, "And when you lie to me, I don't believe you anymore." It made a pretty good impact on them.

Even if you don't have a lesson planned, you can still call it FHE. Once you make the habit, your kids will ask for it when they get older. This is really nice for me, especially since we rarely had it growing up with my dad not being involved. Once we were older, we weren't really interested in having it, so it's cool seeing how kids can really get into it. Tonight we went back to school shopping, which wasn't that great, but it was something.

Here's a funny idea. Some friends of mine had a lesson on reverence. They had the kids teach a lesson and the parents spent the entire time being really loud and running around. It made the kids REALLY mad and then the parents made their point. I love that idea. We're definitely going to use that one.

When our kids were really little, we would do things like go for walks and find things that God made, like rocks, pinecones, animals, etc. They really liked it. I hope some of those things are helpful.

You bring up some interesting points. I guess creating the habit of having FHE is more important then just giving up. Thanks for the tips.

[Paul McNabb]

Our family still has very young children, do any of you have suggestions on how we would conduct FHE in a way toddlers could understand? We have tried many times to have a spiritual lesson and sing and have an activity, but its kinda lame when its just you and your wife that understand whats going on. How can we as parents get/give the spiritual nourishment our family needs but at the same time make it something the toddlers want to be part of and understand?

QuorumPrez

The problem is that you have the wrong goal for your family home evenings. Toddlers generally don't need "spiritual nourishment." They need fun times with Mom and Dad and siblings. The goal(s) for your FHEs will change over time as your family grows and grows up. Also, FHE isn't a time to meet all the needs of the people attending. With toddlers, children, teens, young adults, and parents in the mix, no agenda is going to "work" for everyone.

I recommend that you and your wife look to another venue for your spiritual nourishment and make FHE about your family. Apart from FHE, you can have group scripture reading, gospel study (using a CES manual, for instance), "conference talk of the week" sessions, Church magazine studies, and any number of other ways of providing spiritual nurturing for older family members.

If you are looking for FHE "lessons" for a toddler, try learning colors, identifying relatives from pictures, sorting pictures of animals, or learning names of rooms and furniture. These can all be done with games and activities rather than sit-down lessons with a teacher.

Just some ideas...

[Daniel]

The problem is that you have the wrong goal for your family home evenings. Toddlers generally don't need "spiritual nourishment." They need fun times with Mom and Dad and siblings. The goal(s) for your FHEs will change over time as your family grows and grows up. Also, FHE isn't a time to meet all the needs of the people attending. With toddlers, children, teens, young adults, and parents in the mix, no agenda is going to "work" for everyone.

I recommend that you and your wife look to another venue for your spiritual nourishment and make FHE about your family. Apart from FHE, you can have group scripture reading, gospel study (using a CES manual, for instance), "conference talk of the week" sessions, Church magazine studies, and any number of other ways of providing spiritual nurturing for older family members.

If you are looking for FHE "lessons" for a toddler, try learning colors, identifying relatives from pictures, sorting pictures of animals, or learning names of rooms and furniture. These can all be done with games and activities rather than sit-down lessons with a teacher.

Just some ideas...

I think you kinda gave me the right perspective on this, thanks I will share this with my wife.

QuorumPrez

[Jeny]

I think you kinda gave me the right perspective on this, thanks I will share this with my wife.

QuorumPrez

This actually has helped ME as well!! I need to just make our FHE about our family and get my spiritual stuff else where!! I was trying to impart spiritual stuff to my kids, but my son is just not ready to receive such things, yet...my daughter, on the other hand...is. But I think I will switch my focus to my son's need for family bonding. Thanks for the tip! Even though my kids are in their teens...my son is autistic and does not have the spiritual growth, yet.

[poulsenll]

I think you kinda gave me the right perspective on this, thanks I will share this with my wife.

QuorumPrez

Back when Family Home Evenibg was first formalized as a Monday night activity it was stipulated that no non Family Night activities be scheduled for that night. One of the reasons given for setting aside a special night, was the need for the family to have at least one night together as a family. I can remember that between school, work and Church meetings and activities this was almost impossible, especially when the children started to go to Mutual. Although there are many appropriate Family Night activities, I still think that being together as a family is still the most important.

Larry P

[Jeny]

Back when Family Home Evenibg was first formalized as a Monday night activity it was stipulated that no non Family Night activities be scheduled for that night. One of the reasons given for setting aside a special night, was the need for the family to have at least one night together as a family. I can remember that between school, work and Church meetings and activities this was almost impossible, especially when the children started to go to Mutual. Although there are many appropriate Family Night activities, I still think that being together as a family is still the most important.

Larry P

Thanks for the reminder!! I need to lighten up on myself and stop worrying about if there is some spiritual message to be learned from FHE. I think if I give myself a break, I will be more faithful in holding the FHE's. Thanks again!!! I have really struggled with this!!!

[Paul McNabb]

This actually has helped ME as well!! I need to just make our FHE about our family and get my spiritual stuff else where!! I was trying to impart spiritual stuff to my kids, but my son is just not ready to receive such things, yet...my daughter, on the other hand...is. But I think I will switch my focus to my son's need for family bonding. Thanks for the tip! Even though my kids are in their teens...my son is autistic and does not have the spiritual growth, yet.

We have a 16-year-old who is severely autistic and he absolutely loves family home evening. It can really work if you find the right recipe.

[cjcampbell]

The biggest influence I can remember from before I could read was my parents reading to me out of picture books. For FHE we had a big set of scripture stories filled with beautiful pictures. My mother read; my father sat by. I can remember this from when I was three years old, so it must have made a big impression. Later, when I was older but before I turned 8, I remember reading this book to non-member babysitters or having them read it to me. It was missionary work but I did not understand that at the time.

Children love to be read to from picture books. Helps in their intellectual and emotional development, too.

We also read from Kipling's Jungle Book, and many other classics. All of these stories were amply illustrated and fun to listen to. They had many messages about morality, honesty, hard work, and many other virtues that have carried me through life. Kids are easily addicted to having you read to them. They want to be the ones to sit closest to you.

[Jeny]

We have a 16-year-old who is severely autistic and he absolutely loves family home evening. It can really work if you find the right recipe.

My son hates the church!! He thinks G-d is a fairy tale and he refuses to take the sacriment because he "isn't hungry". He just wants nothing to do with G-d in any way...my heart is broken!!

[bunnzy]

When my mum was in nursery she used to do a quick 'lesson', just by focussing on something really really simple. Such as 'Jesus loves me' and 'God created me', ' God created the animals' and 'i love my family' it took about 2 minutes, and then they played games and sang songs from the childrens songbook. i have included the link to the primary manual she used for her lessons.

http://www.lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menu...000176f620a____

[MorningStar]

This sister in church gave us the greatest idea when she was speaking today in sacrament. She said when her kids were young and fighting with each other, calling names, etc., she and her husband came up with the idea of giving each kid a roll of dimes. Whenever they said something unkind, they had to put a dime in this big jar. At the end of the week, whoever had the most dimes left got to have the whole jar. She said it was amazing how it eased the contention in her home and the kids got to see how much happier it made them to be kind to each other. We are going to use that one tomorrow! I just have to pray that I will follow through with it all week. My husband and I might do a separate one for ourselves so one of the kids will get to win something. Hmmm ... I wonder how we should do ours.

[Guest Iggy]

This sister in church gave us the greatest idea when she was speaking today in sacrament. She said when her kids were young and fighting with each other, calling names, etc., she and her husband came up with the idea of giving each kid a roll of dimes. Whenever they said something unkind, they had to put a dime in this big jar. At the end of the week, whoever had the most dimes left got to have the whole jar. She said it was amazing how it eased the contention in her home and the kids got to see how much happier it made them to be kind to each other. We are going to use that one tomorrow! I just have to pray that I will follow through with it all week. My husband and I might do a separate one for ourselves so one of the kids will get to win something. Hmmm ... I wonder how we should do ours.

I would do it with pennies. A roll of dimes is $5.00! that wouldn't fit well with my budget. They can get the lesson learned just as well with pennies.

[MorningStar]

We had a nice FHE where we walked around the temple. It's good to do something active when the kids are little. :)

[MorningStar]

Good point about the pennies, Iggy! I haven't checked this thread in a long time.