The Law Of Chastity

[rickg]

That counselor friend I talked about earlier assured me that even Bishops notice that the gal walking into the chapel has certain nice features, use your imagination there(but not TOO much). But what seperates the "worthy" from the "unworthy" is where the thoughts go after that.

Kind of a funny story he told me about. He had another friend, an instructor at the Institute of Religion at the University of Washington. This was back in the 70's, the whole hippie era thing. He was walking over to a burger joint for lunch one day. Walking along the sidewalk, not paying attention to much. Notices someone is walking towards him. Looks up, and here's this drop-dead gorgeous gal(presumably a collage student), stark naked! Here's the test! They walk by each other, and he totally resisted the temptation to look back at the gal as she walks away, for a second look. My friend asks me if I could do that. I won't say what my answer was

My friend talked about how we're human, and God made us sexual creatures for a reason. Doesn't really expect us to be robots. It's not going to send us to Hell if we admire the physical attributes of the opposite sex. It's part of what we are. BUT! We will go to Hell if we go beyond a simple admiration however.

A fine line to walk.

[Lightbearer]

You guys(er, girls) can say that easy. Most of you are married women, or at least were married before hitting 30(an assumption, yes).

I'm a guy who's almost 30 and may never get the chance to marry due to circumstances. The only girl in my life may be unsuitable for marrage for reason she can't control. I am starting to believe that I can't have my manhood and hold a temple reccommend.

Actually I am a man and I was a single adult until I was 42. I served a Mission, had various callings and stayed active and attended Institute until they threw me out for being too old and also I attended the dreaded YSA and Single Adult activities...Singles Conferences and I was begining to think my eternal companion was a casualty in the War in Heaven until I crashed a dance at a Singles Conference that I had not signed up to attend and while there my future wife walked up to me and asked me to dance...I said yes and the rest was history. As far as disabilities are concerned do not be so quick to reject possibilities out of hand. My wife was on dyailiss (had kidney failure) and was 10 years younger than me. We met on June 8th, got engaged on July 5th and were married on September 28th of the same year. We were married in the Temple and are coming up on our 5th anniversary, and oh yes she had a kidney transplant in July of that same year we met. So do not be too quick to give up, it takes patience and faith but I promise if you remain faithful sooner or later these blessing will come if you seek them.

Good luck and God bless.

[Jigglysaint]

That's a touching story. However in my case my girlfriend is not able to be baptized because of her disabiity. Then again, she's most likely going straight to the Celestial Kingdom afterwards, except she doesn't really believe in god in the first place.

Other than that it would be a challenge. I do want kids, and I do not know if we could do that. She can't even take the bus by herself yet. Can she take care of a child? Can I take care of a child? Can I handle the difficulties that stem from her disability? Where her parents even let go of her?

I've endured persecution just to be with her. In fact I am more likely to be attacked because my girlfriend is so young than for my own beliefs.

[MorningStar]

That counselor friend I talked about earlier assured me that even Bishops notice that the gal walking into the chapel has certain nice features, use your imagination there(but not TOO much). But what seperates the "worthy" from the "unworthy" is where the thoughts go after that.

Kind of a funny story he told me about. He had another friend, an instructor at the Institute of Religion at the University of Washington. This was back in the 70's, the whole hippie era thing. He was walking over to a burger joint for lunch one day. Walking along the sidewalk, not paying attention to much. Notices someone is walking towards him. Looks up, and here's this drop-dead gorgeous gal(presumably a collage student), stark naked! Here's the test! They walk by each other, and he totally resisted the temptation to look back at the gal as she walks away, for a second look. My friend asks me if I could do that. I won't say what my answer was

My friend talked about how we're human, and God made us sexual creatures for a reason. Doesn't really expect us to be robots. It's not going to send us to Hell if we admire the physical attributes of the opposite sex. It's part of what we are. BUT! We will go to Hell if we go beyond a simple admiration however.

A fine line to walk.

Was he walking to that burger joint called "Dick's" by chance? :) That place is good and cheap.

If someone walked by me naked on the street, I would probably stare just because I was shocked, not because I think it's attractive. High five to that guy for not looking.

[Guest prnldsfrms]

I hope you teach about the law of chastity includes full and joyful intimacy with a spouse. Many sisters have the mistaken impression that sex is only for procreation (Elder Scott gave a talk recently that it is also to improve the bond with spouses.) I think that one reason our children become involved in intimacy outside of marriage is that they are told their whole life that it is wrong, and then they find out that the feelings are powerful and feel good. They think that if parents and leaders were wrong about its naturalness and how much they would want to express those feelings, they must also be wrong about reserving it for marriage. Kids may also think that because they french kissed or petted they might as well go all the way because they are sinning anyway.

And kids as young as middle school may be walking in on oral sex in the restrooms at school. In their world, oral sex is NOT sex.

So in all the discussion talk about its great capacity to heal and bless marital relationships and while there may be expressions of intimacy that are inconsistent with God's laws, a couple is free to enjoy lots of expressions of intimacy ARE gospel compatible, and study them out with the scriptures and in prayer in an effort to make that intimate relationship the bonding tool God intends for it to be with couples.

[MorningStar]

I do plan on emphasizing how it is a wonderful thing between husband and wife. I am trying my best to teach my kids that it is beautiful, but worth waiting for.

I am also going to add how I was taught in YW not to "neck and pet" and me and my friends didn't know what the heck that meant. My friends said, "I've made-out, but I don't know what necking and petting is!" We thought, "Petting is what you do to a dog." I think it's helpful to use modern terms or just spell it out if necessary.

[Still_Small_Voice]

I like these scriptures on physical intimacy in marriage:

Proverbs chapter 5

18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth.

19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love.

20 For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?

New King James Version

And here is the King James Version of these verses:

18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

20 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?

[Jeny]

I like these scriptures on physical intimacy in marriage:

Proverbs chapter 5

18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth.

19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love.

20 For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?

New King James Version

And here is the King James Version of these verses:

18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

20 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?

I understand how hard it can be to live the law of chastity as an adult...I am living it and have not been with a man in 8 years... , But honestly....sex is overrated!!! Truth be known...I am just as satisfied with a chocolate bar and a good healthy bowel movement!!!

....I miss my coffee worse than I miss the "minuet man"...

[Still_Small_Voice]

The world definately does obsess about sex way too much. But, it would be very hard for me if my wife wanted me to go without sexual relations.

I like a quote that I will paraphrase by Spencer Kimball: Sex is an important part of life, but life is not made just for sex. I think there is wisdom in that statement.

[Jigglysaint]

I do know that "petting" refers to the touching of another's private areas for the sole reason of arrousal. I have to be very careful with my current girlfriend not to go too far. I am quite attracted to her and the powerful sexual urges are quite apparent. I think we are both excited to have physical intamacy. I've been very shy about kissing her, but I have a couple of times. I know we don't use the tounge, but I am not good at gauging what is or isn't "overdoing it".

Everybody knows my feelings for her(because I won't shut up about it). I will admit that for the first time in my life, this is the first time I've actually lusted after a woman in the most purest sexual desires. Normally, my fantasies(sorry to be so bold and direct) revolve arround fully clothed women eating Kraft Singles and myself developing a non-sexual bond with them, like a friendship. Yeah you heard me right, I sin as a result of a fantasy that doesn't actually involve nudity. Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me that I don't actually require thought of sexual actions to be turned on.

Again, sorry for being bold and confessing my sins. I suppose I feel that the more I tell others, the more I will start to feel embarassed for myself.

[HiJolly]

Again, sorry for being bold and confessing my sins. I suppose I feel that the more I tell others, the more I will start to feel embarassed for myself.

JS, you're killing me. Maybe I just don't understand. Your girlfriend is mentally challenged, right? How much? Is she legally competent to make decisions concerning her life, such as where to live, who to trust, how to buy groceries, etc.? I mean, this is serious stuff you're talking about now.

If you are so attracted to her, this may be saying really serious things about you. I think you should call Dr. Laura or something, 'cause I'm afraid I'm see some really bad stuff here. So help me out - The question is not only is she mentally competent enough to be physically intimate, but how could she possibly be a good companion to you down the road? WITH KIDS?? (yes, I know you have your own challenges, but IQ isn't one of them, right?)

Worried for both of you,

HiJolly

[Jeny]

JS, you're killing me. Maybe I just don't understand. Your girlfriend is mentally challenged, right? How much? Is she legally competent to make decisions concerning her life, such as where to live, who to trust, how to buy groceries, etc.? I mean, this is serious stuff you're talking about now.

If you are so attracted to her, this may be saying really serious things about you. I think you should call Dr. Laura or something, 'cause I'm afraid I'm see some really bad stuff here. So help me out - The question is not only is she mentally competent enough to be physically intimate, but how could she possibly be a good companion to you down the road? WITH KIDS?? (yes, I know you have your own challenges, but IQ isn't one of them, right?)

Worried for both of you,

HiJolly

Wow, Hijolly! I had some of those thoughts too!! Please tell us we are misinterpreting, JS!!!!! It does not sound healthy or even moral...but we could be reading you all wrong and I for one am in no possition to judge anybody!!

That said...if this woman is so mentally challenged that she thinks like a child...well what is up with that? You need to re think what you are attracted to...

...of course, I could be totally wrong, and if I am, please forgive me for reading you wrong!! Please clarify for us?

Thanks!!

Yediyd

[MorningStar]

Jigglysaint,

Considering your problem is highly unusual, I think we should make a separate thread about it since I am not going to be covering something like this in my lesson.

:)

[MorningStar]

OK, I started a conversation in General Chat, Jigglysaint. If you want me to delete it, I will.

[Daniel]

This thread is tetering on

- Do not start personal or personalized threads. Exceptions may be made for topics about public figures or people of interest that are appropriate to the board.

I'll be separating some posts and ask everyone to remember the board guidelines when they post.

[Jeny]

This thread is tetering on

I'll be separating some posts and ask everyone to remember the board guidelines when they post.

Did I cross a line? I didn't mean too!!!

...I was thinking maybe we should have a forum for highly "sensitive" stuff that only adults and "approved" members can access...they have an adult forum on ldstalk...what do you think?

[Daniel]

Did I cross a line? I didn't mean too!!!

...I was thinking maybe we should have a forum for highly "sensitive" stuff that only adults and "approved" members can access...they have an adult forum on ldstalk...what do you think?

No everything is fine, I'll think about a sensitive subject forum. I'll let you all know.

[Jeny]

Just remember QP...some things are tough for us to discuss in person, but the anonymity of this board can allow people to discuss things that ALL of us struggle with but rarely want to ask advice about!!

...I can see how it could be a can of worms...but as long as we all do our best to remember the reason for this site and honer the rules...I think that an adult forum could be beneficial...

[MorningStar]

Here's a quote from the lesson. Very powerful! This part is speaking on pornography:

It is utterly without redeeming social value. We urge our families to protect their children in every way possible. We live in a permissive world, but we must make certain we do not become a part of that permissive world, that degenerate world.17

Members of the Church everywhere are urged to not only resist the widespread plague of pornography, but as citizens to become actively and relentlessly engaged in the fight against this insidious enemy of humanity around the world. …

… Teach your children to avoid smut as the plague it is. As citizens, join in the fight against obscenity in your communities. Do not be lulled into inaction by the pornographic profiteers who say that to remove obscenity is to deny people the rights of free choice. Do not let them masquerade licentiousness as liberty.

Precious souls are at stake—souls that are near and dear to each of us.

I've decided to hand out comment cards from a few grocery stores at the end and we can request for disgusting magazines to be removed from our children's sight. That's a start. What are some other things you think we can do to fight it?

[Jeny]

I've decided to hand out comment cards from a few grocery stores at the end and we can request for disgusting magazines to be removed from our children's sight. That's a start.

That is a great idea!!!

[MorningStar]

That is a great idea!!!

Thank you! I was also going to suggest that we all go stand in the family friendly aisle at Fred Meyer at the same time one day and when they offer to take us in another line, we'll all say, "No thank you. We only use the family friendly aisle." Bwah hahahahaha!!!! I bet if we did that enough, they'd cave and make more family friendly aisles.

[Jeny]

Thank you! I was also going to suggest that we all go stand in the family friendly aisle at Fred Meyer at the same time one day and when they offer to take us in another line, we'll all say, "No thank you. We only use the family friendly aisle." Bwah hahahahaha!!!! I bet if we did that enough, they'd cave and make more family friendly aisles.

See? What do you need us for? Those are awesome ideas!! Why don't you plan an enritchment night where each lady buys one item for care packages, then all line up with their one item in the family friendly isle!!!!

[MorningStar]

See? What do you need us for? Those are awesome ideas!! Why don't you plan an enritchment night where each lady buys one item for care packages, then all line up with their one item in the family friendly isle!!!!

Good idea! I didn't think about doing it for Enrichment. I'm not on the commitee, but I could suggest it to someone.

[Jigglysaint]

Sorry guys, I shouldn't have said anything. In fact I was banned from an LDS chat room a few years back by discussing this very subject. Back then, the girl wasn't my girlfriend and the age different was akward. I met her when she was 16, she's turning 20 on Saturday.

Some LDS on that chat room went so far as to call me a pedophile.

[Sheelah]

Thank you! I was also going to suggest that we all go stand in the family friendly aisle at Fred Meyer at the same time one day and when they offer to take us in another line, we'll all say, "No thank you. We only use the family friendly aisle." Bwah hahahahaha!!!! I bet if we did that enough, they'd cave and make more family friendly aisles.

I'm curious, what is a family friendly aisle at a Fred Meyer? I've never heard of that before.