Hello?

[Guest GhostRider]

Hello or as we say it in the south when i lived there Gretings Y'all!!!

a little about my self.

I am a 36 year old male with a lot of questions. Have been battling a sever case of depression for about 2 years due to a divorce and a recent break up. wont bore you with the details. I ws born and raised S babptist and went to church everyday untill my teen years. I joned the service out of high school and started a downward spiral spiratually. married and divorced twice. after my last divorce started going back to church. was ordained as a preacher rather hastily. when the church i went to split i started searching. A freind told me to seek where my heart was leading (she is an lds memeber). After our discussion she invited me to talk to the local missionarys. I talked to 2 very nice young men that where on their mission and it started to make me think. I have been struggling over this spiritually for the last year and a half.

I also have a few questions that if possible to get some answers for.

1) I am a coffee drinker. Have been since high school. If i do not drink it i suffer from extream migrains. if I do join the church will I be frowned upon?

2) Due to a rather poor choice I also started smoking at a very young age. I have tried to quit for the last 10 years. Nothing seems to work. Will I be frowned upon for that also?

3) Also where does one look for more material about the church doctrine besides online? I would like to talk to some one that is a little older than the mission workers (no offence to the brave young men that due this without them I would not be posting this.) but that is just me. would like to talk to someone more my age. Again I mean no disrespect. But whom should I talk to next sunday when I am going to go?

4) if possible to speak to said person will I be pressured in any way? that is the reason that I have not been to a church for a while. every one i went to pushed me to join by pressure. to me if it is The Lords will for you to be there then you will go there. just my beliefs.

i want to thank you for the time to bear this and to all of those that read and reply for all of your help

[Garden Girl]

Good morning ex19k..

Welcome... I'm going to give a fast few comments as I am rushing off to Church... I have to give a talk in Sacrament Mtg this morning (we do not have formal "preachers"... the ward members give the "sermons" each Sunday). Today I've been asked...

First... about coffee/caffeine... you are addicted to the caffeine and when you try and stop it you get the severe headaches. Take some aspirin and try and get through it. They eventually will stop. When they stop because you start drinking coffee again it's because you've stopped the withdrawal symptoms.

Cigarettes are also viewed as a stimulant... the nicotine is addicting. That's why it's so hard to give up cigs (I know...I was a heavy smoker/coffee drinker). While you won't be "looked down on" it is against our principles to partake of alcohol/tabacco... Word of Wisdom it is called.

If you go to the LDS Church today or any other time... ask to speak to the Ward mission leader... or the Elder's Quorum president. Tell them your desire to speak to someone a little older. Also, you can ask them for additional study materials and the manual "Gospel Principles" which we give out free of charge. Gives all of our basic doctrines.

As far as being "pressured," you are only pressured if you allow yourself to be... tell whomever you are talking to...missionaries and others... that you are searching but want to go at your own pace and study, being able to ask questions. Be firm but polite... your wish will be honored. I know at some point not to far into the missionary "discussions" they ask about baptism... just say you are not ready. No one is going to drag you into the font or anything like that. You can ask questions here... just go into the discussion forum and start a "thread" with a question...

Good luck... I'm off...

from the beautiful central Oregon coast.... The Garden Girl

[ztodd]

Hi, welcome aboard.

1> I wouldn't look down on ya- I understand how strong addictions can be.

2> Same as above. The missionaries and their older ward mission leader should have a real good program to help overcome such addiction if you really want to.

3> When you go to church, someone there should be able to direct you to the Gospel Principles class or introduce you to the ward mission leader. The missionaries definitely should do that for ya. The ward mission leader is a local member of the congregation there and is typically much older than the missionaries, he can give you more reference material.

4> Sometimes people might try to pressure you because we're so excited about the gospel of Jesus Christ and sharing it- I hope the people you encounter will show courtesy to you in this regard- you just may need to explain it to them if you're not ready yet. But keep an open heart to what you feel the Lord is leading you to do- I'm sure you'll agree that if the Lord truly is leading you to do something then it's best not to procrastinate. Of course, I could do better myself at not procrastinating things I know I should do. We're all just trying to help each other get to where our heavenly father wants us to be.

[fish4kitty]

Ditto on first two responses. Hey it ain't easy quiting something like smokes and coffee. I know. They both smell real good to this day. I found that if I didn't have my first cup in the morning I didn't need my first smoke either. Little thing but it helps. I'm pullin for ya.

[Guest GhostRider]

thanks all. will have to take it one step at a time

[CourtneyP]

Hi and welcome! :)

The advice given above was good, so I have nothing to add on that front. But listen to your heart.

[Guest AutumnBreez]

After 12 years of inactivity- I recently came back...I used to drink coffee as much as 3 cups plus aday.

I had the same problem with migraines when I tried to stop. However with prayer and knowledge that the headaches were a sign of obvious addiction, it made me think about how true the Word of wisdom had to be.

First week: I cut my consumption down to 1 cup coffee daily, and drank hot chocolate for the other two times in the day.

Second week: Cut it to cup every other day, hot chocolate the two parts of day. (Chocolate has some caffeine but smaller dosage by far.)

Third week: Drank one cup of coffee at beginning of week and hot chocolate the remainder. Really in two weeks time I was through with drinking java.

I have found that the hot chocolate in the morning came mostly out of coffee habit- mug holding mornings, I am now getting so sick of hot chocolate that I don't care the rest of the day if I do or don't have any.

I occasionally will have 100% caffeine free herbal teas to get me warmed up if cold outside.

Yes, I moved my habit from coffee to hot chocolate. Hot chocolate to herbal tea from time to time. I no longer have cravings for coffee, my husband is inactive member and makes it and it does not bother me either, we go to starbucks for him once in a while, I get hot coco. Coffee actually seems rather yuck now. I no longer have the migraines. After the first month I started to got some but it was either detox or the weather. Took some Ibuprofen it cleared it up.

Have not had them again like that. The cravings have ceased completely.

Request a blessing for strength and to terminate your desire for smokes and coffee.

If you don't like hot coco, use the herbal tea as your warm mug substitute. Plain hot water is not bad either.

You could always do cold turkey and take Ibuprofen.

I believe it is not all about the caffeine, it is a physical habit that should be broken in time too.

2 Months after quitting.....I am caffeine free! I also had decided for myself to stop all drinks even soft drinks that contained caffeine. It is a drug to my body, and migraines kept me hostage.

No caffinated sodas has helped keep me free.

If and when I do drink soda- My first choice: Rootbeer- A&W and Mug are caffeine free dark sodas. Light colored: Sierra mist, 7-up, Sprite, Fanta.

Everyone is different this is what works for me personally. Prayers for you. You can do it!!

Give it to God, put him first before everything!!!.....even coffee and smokes and you will see the blessings pour out.

You will have a new outlook on your will power to over throw temptation.

[Guest GhostRider]

actually doing better. am gonna talk to some ppl sunday. pray for me. and have been chatting with a lot of ppl that are on some of the chat rooms. so far have met a lot of nice ppl that are helping me get through this.

as for the caffine. switched to decaff and asprin in the morning. the first few days were really bad. but it was the weekend so no work. monday was fun...lol.

now as far as the cigs go..gonna start the patch this weekend. hopefully this will work. at least i wontbe smoking.

will update you alll and thanks for the prayers

[DrewM]

actually doing better. am gonna talk to some ppl sunday. pray for me. and have been chatting with a lot of ppl that are on some of the chat rooms. so far have met a lot of nice ppl that are helping me get through this.

as for the caffine. switched to decaff and asprin in the morning. the first few days were really bad. but it was the weekend so no work. monday was fun...lol.

now as far as the cigs go..gonna start the patch this weekend. hopefully this will work. at least i wontbe smoking.

will update you alll and thanks for the prayers

You might find an occasional excedrin helpful since it does have some caffeine in it. Obviously, if you just replace your coffee with excedrin you've done yourself no favor.

Good luck.

It's good to have you around here.

[avatar4321]

No one is perfect, i dont think anyone expects perfection. Especially not overnight. With that said, the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the Gospel of repentence. It teaches that through Christ man can not only change his behavior, but change his very nature.

I know there are things you may think you cannot live without. I know ive felt like that many times in my life. But when you feel the spirit of God in your life you want to keep that feeling more than anything and will give up any addiction to keep it.

At some point, you will be expected to exercise faith in Christ and give up your addictions. This of course, will happen when you decide to do so. The Church was organized to lift people up. And while we all may rise at different rates, we all must remember that whats important is that we are rising. I am glad to see that you are working at it. That's all we can really expect.

[Garden Girl]

Hello ex19k...

Just want to send you a hello from the beautiful central Oregon coast on a sunny, crisp winter day. You are in my prayers because I've "been there, done that" also, so I know it can have ups and downs. But it is so worth it... I quit smoking in 1995 so my lungs are hopefully pink again. On Oprah one day, Dr. Oz had a bunch of organs, including a lung of a smoker. It was enough to make anyone quit smoking when we could actually see the affects of smoking on the lungs... Just continue to ask Heavenly Father for strength as often during the day as necessary...

Picture me... cheering you on...

All good wishes... The Garden Girl

[CourtneyP]

Great job on the cutting out of coffee and beginning the journey to quitting smoking too! As a person who is allergic to caffine, I can't say that I had a problem with cutting out coffee. But I know how hard it was for my mom to quit smoking. You are a strong person. Keep the faith! :)

[robspectre]

I myself have been divorced twice, raised Baptist, 34 years old, and I too am from the south (mississippi). Hmmm... at least I'm not the only redneck here. LOL

[Garden Girl]

Hello ex19k...

Just checking in to see how you are doing... it's been several days... better? How's the efforts going as far as stopping smoking? I'm still cheering you on.

When I was ready to quit smoking, I was at a point where I had "smoker's cough," particularly in the early mornings when I'd first get up... I'd cough and hack as I lit up my first cig... it sounded terrible, and felt terrible. But I couldn't wait for that first drag of nicotine... yuk!! That's all I can think of now is, YUK!

Anyway, as the weeks went by and I didn't smoke I noticed a very definite improvement as I quit with the coughing... until finally, about 3 months after my last cig I realized I was free of the coughing. It was wonderful. I had more energy. Food tasted better. I smelled better...

So, how are things going?

All good wishes...

The Garden Girl

[Guest GhostRider]

update

well things are going better..theheadaches are getting better.

the smoking is a lot les. and as garden put it with the coughing...well with me its sinus..wake up and cant breathe. so i amdoing lots better with it..the patch gave me bizzare dreams..so cutting back drastically...went from abut a pack a day to about 5. so big improvement. hope to cut cold turkey by His Sons Birthday!!!

As for the church...if they would quit calling for snow and we would quit getting it...it would be a little better..

will let you all know

[Guest GhostRider]

ok...went to church...the day before ws approched by some of the friendly missionaries from a different ward and recieved the book of morman. read most of the night saturday.thought that them coming was kind of ironic huh? I was made welcome by so many ppl. Met the bishopric (sp?) and a lot of the members. After my church split and i went to other churches i can say that that was the warmes welcome that i have felt in a long time. I got to sit with the missonaires and was told by some members to sit withthem next week. I think i will! will deffanatly be going back. pray for me that the lord will tell me what he wants me to do!!!!!! And Have a Verry Merry Chrstmas!

[Garden Girl]

Hello ex19k...

Just a note of encouragement... today is "His Son's" birthday, and my thoughts turned to you and your hope to be finished smoking by today... I hope you were able to do so, but don't beat yourself up if it's going to take a little longer... just keep plodding forward and you'll be fine.

Did you attend church again? Not pushing...just interested. Saying prayers for you.

All good wishes... The Garden Girl

[Guest Iggy]

update

well things are going better..theheadaches are getting better.

the smoking is a lot les. and as garden put it with the coughing...well with me its sinus..wake up and cant breathe. so i amdoing lots better with it..the patch gave me bizzare dreams..so cutting back drastically...went from abut a pack a day to about 5. so big improvement. hope to cut cold turkey by His Sons Birthday!!!

As for the church...if they would quit calling for snow and we would quit getting it...it would be a little better..

will let you all know

I used the patch to quit smoking and my dreams were bizare too- but not awful. I rather liked them. If you wear the patch during the night, you might want to stop doing that and put it on first thing in the morning. I smoked more in the morning. First thing in the morning, wake up, not even get my eyes opened completely- then light up the cigs.

But you may want to remove the patch at night and put a fresh one on in the morning. Also are you using the three step patch? I did, BUT I started with the second step patch. I only smoked 1 pack a day. Now my co-worker- she smoked 3 packs a day and she started with the 1st step. Her treatment took abour 6 weeks longer than mine. She had horrible nightmares. She changed her routine a bit. Took the patch off at night, bathed first thing in the morning and put a fresh patch on. Ate her breakfast at the table, complete with table settings. (she always ate on the run). Unfortunately she went back to smoking, but she did lose 30 pounds. No eating on the run. I on the other hand gained nearly 75 pounds!

you will need to substitute a good hand to mouth action for the bad hand to mouth action. Put raw vegetables or raw fruits into your mouth and not sweets, candy, extra food as a substutute for the cigarette hand to mouth action.

[Guest GhostRider]

thanks Iggy and Garden...

yeah the patch gave me such nightmares that it satrted giving me anxiety attacks... so no more patch..did really good...only had 2 today...one i didnt even know what i did...the other had a very stressful situation...so i kinda wimped.

and Garden wil be going back on Sunday. I cant wait to go again. i may sit with the missionaries again. so if i have any questions during sacrement i can ask them. there might be a thing that i will be able to meet more of the ppl there. So far the ppl are nice. even got an email from a few wishing me merry christmas. to me that means so soooo much.

i want to thank each and every one for your prayers.

I hope that you all had a very MERRY CHRISTMAS

[MorningStar]

Welcome, Ex19!

I am very inspired by your story and I'm glad to have you here. You're in my prayers.

[Guest GhostRider]

Well..here is an update. have been going to the church and talking with the missionaries for about the last month and a half when I can. am actually getting baptised on the 16th! This is the 3rd date that has been set so hopefully the third time is a charm. have since quit smoking and coffee..pulled a back muscle so bad that i couldnt move for three days due to the pain killers I was on..sorta a blessing in discuise u might say. Now the back and me are all better. Also my heart and soul has found peace...for the first time in years. It feels wonderful!

Until next time...the old Broken Down Bronc rider

[Rebky]

thanks for the update (although I had to go WAY back for a postdate lol) After reading your first post and then this... all I can say is GOOD FOR YOU! Looks like you have experienced much growth this past year! Congradulations and I trust you will go through with the baptism!

[Misshalfway]

Hello friend,

Sounds like you are searching for some answers. I applaud your search for truth and peace.

In answer to your questions.... (forgive me, I haven't read every post on this thread)

1) & 2) You may find some in the church who don't understand. Who cares. Honestly, you may feel some frowning. But they are not important. Whether or not they understand you and your position, is not important. There a lots of people who do understand how hard it is to quit. The church does have great programs to help free yourself from the coffee and cigs. I think most of us are dealing with some kind of difficulty. I think you will find a lot of support especially as they become more familiar with you and your great personality.

3) There are lots of people to talk to. This church has a lay ministry. That basically means that no one is paid and we all kind of rotate with regards to church responsibilities and leadership. You could talk to the ward mission leader, the mission president, the bishop or branch president, or older couple missionaries. Your friend should be able to direct you to those individuals. But I will say, that even though these Elders look...and act....like boys sometimes, they truly are called of God. The Spirit of the Lord is the real teacher. And sometimes teaches the most profound lessons from the most unlikely of places.

4) I understand the pressure you feel. I think it comes from over-eagerness or maybe even love for you. I don't think that it is anything but innocent stumbling on the part of the members. You know, it took Brigham Young (second leader of the church) two years of studying and considering to accept the Book of Mormon and become baptized. It is ok to take your time. You are in control of your pace. God knows you and what you need and what truth He is ready to give you. If you are open to God, and have faith in His will for you, the rest will take care of itself. I hope you can forgive the eager beavers out there. I think we love our church so much, we forget how forceful we can be.

Love and encouragement,

Misshalfway

[Misshalfway]

ex19k,

This is wonderful news. I am so glad to see that you have found some peace. Congrats on the conquering of such addictions. I know you can do it with God's help. He truly can move mountains and push us to the peace faster than we ever imagined.

Cheers to you!

Misshalfway

[pushka]

Hi Ex19K...I recently started to attend the LDS church again, after 26 years of inactivity...I've found the people really friendly, even the ones who knew me way back when, and I've been studying in the Gospel Principles class as well as attending Sacrament and Relief Society meetings.

I've been having a sort of refresher course with the Missionaries, and my Baptism date is set for the 16Th February too!!

Great to see you here, hope it helps you on the days when you don't have friends from the church to see :)