Hostile Ward Member

[MorningStar]

My brother-in-law just told me that there is a man in his ward who is clinically ill and very angry at him and his wife. He calls my brother-in-law "the devil" and has called his wife some nasty names too. He calls her and says, "You WILL find someone to give my wife and I a ride!" and that sort of thing. I don't know all the details, but he lives four houses down and things have gotten bad enough that someone in the bishopric offered them a gun. They declined.

They are afraid to call the police because it's a trigger for the guy when he is accused of anything. I said they should call the police anyway and go out of town for a while, stay with someone else. But they said he gets fixated on people and will not leave them alone.

I suggested they get a restraining order (they've had his phone number blocked) but they think they need some kind of proof that he is being threatening or capable of violence. Does anyone here know how difficult it is to get a restraining order?

For now, their daughter is not playing outside at all, the wife doesn't walk towards the guy's house like she normally does, and they're just trying to avoid him. I think they should report him.

Please pray for them. When I was in 5th or 6th grade, some kid said he was going home to get a gun and kill my mom (she was the recess teacher and had broken up a fight between him another another kid). It was a pretty scary situation and we had cops patrolling our house quite a bit, but they couldn't do anything unless he tried something. Luckily he was full of hot air, but it could've been very bad. I remember how we would turn on the patio light out back so we could see if he was standing there while we were watching TV together. At one point he had passed through our yard (it was a weird coincidence because he didn't know we lived there and he was with the kid he got in a fight with - they were best buds again- and they were running away together) to get to this canyon out back. My mom yelled at him to get away from our house and not to pass through our yard, then he started yelling and swearing at her. It was sad because we used to be friends and he turned into this angry person. It still gives me chills to think about how my friend said to my mom, "I don't want to scare you, but Sean stormed off the recess field. I asked him where he was going and he said he was going home to get his dad's gun and kill you." I doubted his ability to do so, but we've seen now what kids are capable of. It is a horrible feeling when you might be in danger and no one can help you until an attempt to harm happens.

[bjw]

I can identify with you on this one. Back when I was a MacArthurite I had a church member that was following me around in public and would come up to me and scream accusations at me. He was mentally ill as well. In this case I reported it to the church (it turns out he had been reporting me to church officials for things) and I explained that he was getting violent (kicking me in the shins while telling me I was going to hell, etc.) and the church took measures to make sure the harassment stopped. That might be a good idea in this situation, I don't know. The bishopric and stake presidency should definitely be notified as well as the police. Some mentally ill people can get violent and its best not to take any chances, IMHO.

[CourtneyP]

I'd advise for them to call the police and also see of the bishop can talk to the man and figure out what's causing his irratic behavior. Sounds like this guy might need some psychiatric help.

I'll keep them in my prayers!

[Daniel]

We are having the same issue in our ward. A mentally ill person who just came back into activity called the cops on the Bishopric. They have a history of causing problems and the police told us the other ward buildings has restraining orders against them and we needed to do the same. It's an odd situation to be in but what the stake has counseled us to get the police involved and to protect the general ward membership at the cost of one person.

I suggest you contact the Bishopric to do the same by them calling the police and barring them from harrassing ward members and being on LDS property.

[NeuroTypical]

Do NOT take this situation lightly. Here in CO, we just had a guy go nuts and kill 5 people. He started with a (non-LDS) mission house near Denver, then he drove down to Colorado Springs to the local mega-church here and killed 2 teenage girls, before a site security guard finally brought him down with her gun.

He had a history of being a hard-to-get-along-with angry person with a hair trigger too.

One of the many news stories here.

LM

[MorningStar]

Thanks you guys. I'm trying to reason with them right now. They're so scared, but they need to call the cops whether it makes the guy angry or not.

[Daniel]

Thanks you guys. I'm trying to reason with them right now. They're so scared, but they need to call the cops whether it makes the guy angry or not.

If they wimp out I would call the stake president.

[Guest AutumnBreez]

Restraining order.....ya I would say it may the best first step to show you are having issues. Record started with Authorities.

Having a record started could possibly help them if more issues come their way, or anyone else who files. If the guy starts to work on someone else and they also get restraining order, the problem will be obvious that he is a possible danger to others.

Scary sounding situation. Prayers for your family.

[Guest prnldsfrms]

All states have laws that allow involuntary commitment when people are a danger to themselves or others. I'd suggest when they go to the police they phrase it this way --- that they fear for their live based on x, y, z. The officers will then go to the man and attempt to interview him. During the course of the interview they may identify sufficient cause to do the commitment (or they may find out that he is under a doctor's care and paranoid or schizophrenic and be able to contact a doctor who might adjust medicine). (Once committed, they are evaluated for at least three days, and if the doctors think they ought to stay longer, they have to get a court order. )

Most states also have laws that prevent those who are mentally ill from owning or possessing guns. The officers can figure out whether that applies in this case.

It will be helpful if they know the names of others he has threatened, and give them to the officers.

Also, suggest that they call the National Association for Mental Illness NAMI I think, and ask for other suggestions about how to deal with him.

I presume the family has thought to fast and pray for this man, that his heart might be softened and that he might take advantage of medical interventions.

[MorningStar]

Thank you! Good suggestions, everyone. I'll keep you updated on the situation.