MorningStar Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 We are told in the scriptures that we are supposed to help those in need. There is a man who used to live in our ward, moved away to take care of his sister, and moved back to the area where he lived in his car for months until that was totaled. Then a nice family in our ward took him in until he receives Section 8 housing later this month, but they had to tell him to leave on Friday due to something they found on their computer and materials they found while helping him retrieve items from his car. He just said sorry and left, the wife asked if we had heard from him (my husband used to be his home teacher) and then he left a message yesterday that he's living on the streets. They realized too although they're 99.9% sure he wouldn't do anything to their daughter, it was really stupid of them to let him stay there. The wife was worried that he would show up at my place and ask to stay, but there is just no way. I feel bad for him and it is very sad that he blew it by using their computer for bad. What do you think the best way is to help someone like this without endangering your family? If I had the money, I would give him temporary shelter, but I am not willing to let him sleep in our home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HiJolly Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 We are told in the scriptures that we are supposed to help those in need. There is a man who used to live in our ward, moved away to take care of his sister, and moved back to the area where he lived in his car for months until that was totaled. Then a nice family in our ward took him in until he receives Section 8 housing later this month, but they had to tell him to leave on Friday due to something they found on their computer and materials they found while helping him retrieve items from his car. He just said sorry and left, the wife asked if we had heard from him (my husband used to be his home teacher) and then he left a message yesterday that he's living on the streets. They realized too although they're 99.9% sure he wouldn't do anything to their daughter, it was really stupid of them to let him stay there. The wife was worried that he would show up at my place and ask to stay, but there is just no way. I feel bad for him and it is very sad that he blew it by using their computer for bad. What do you think the best way is to help someone like this without endangering your family? If I had the money, I would give him temporary shelter, but I am not willing to let him sleep in our home.The Christian heart wants to be compassionate and 'save' people from terrible circumstances. This is a good thing. King Benjamin gave probably the best sermon I've ever read about this. Elizabeth Smart's mom gave the best sermon ever as to why this MUST be tempered by reason, logic and street smarts. She felt GUILTY that she had oodles of money, whilst hundred of people in SLC went homeless. She would go downtown and bring homeless men to her home to work on various fix-it projects and the like, so she could pay them cash for the work, and thus help them. One such man, came back later and kidnapped her 14-y.o. daughter and you probably know the rest of the story. There is a reason we must be wise as serpents. So to speak. It is not easy. HiJolly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Girl Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 Hi, Morning Star... I believe that the Savior expects us to serve our fellow man, but he does not expect us to put our family in harm's way... I know about this first hand... When I married my hubby 6 years ago, he had a foster son living with him... He had been with hubby for a couple of years, and had stayed in his home even after his 18th birthday... We both agreed that the young man should be allowed to stay after we got married.... We were wrong... The foster son tried to harm my daughter... We were forced to make him move out, and to report it to the police... We endured months of rumors and lies being told about us and our daughter, as this young man tried to cover his tracks... We had to go to 3 court hearings as he tried to convice a judge and a court apoointed psychologist, that he was innocent, and my 13 year old was the instigator... He basically told the judge that my daughter tried to rape him... When the judge didn't buy it, he finally plead guilty to a lesser charge... After dragging us through hell for 8 months.... Looking back, Hubby and I can see signs that we didn't see, or misinterpreted back then... And we have paid a heavy price for it... If you have concerns before the guy even comes into your home, that cannot be good.... We have never allowed another person to stay in our home again.... Just my 2 cents (from a loving Sister in the Gospel) Silver Girl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted January 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 HiJolly, situations like Elizabeth Smart's have been on my mind. The fact is, a lot of homeless people are unstable and that's how they got that way. Her family was made vulnerable by letting strangers in. The mom must kick herself every day for making that possible. I know her heart was in the right place. You sing hymns like "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief" and feel like you're supposed to let all sorts of people into your home, feed them, clothe them, etc. That would be nice if it were the safe thing to do. We've never had this man over, but my husband has gone lots of times to visit him as his home teacher. He thinks he's a nice man, but very screwed up. He is a convert who is an alcoholic, Army vet, has PTSD, and all sorts of problems. His therapist says he shouldn't work right now and he won't go to homeless shelters because he was sexually assaulted the last time he stayed in one. I'm sure he feels helpless and wishes someone would take him in until he is on his feet again - He's been fighting the government over some VA benefits he was supposed to receive and hopefully he will. It's hard to have a shelter and food and tell someone they can't stay with you, but there is no way in heck he is going to sleep under the same roof with my kids. He called in the middle of the night a couple weeks ago asking my husband to drive him somewhere because his "home" was totaled after he blacked out at the wheel, and I instantly said, "He can't stay here. If he asks, the answer is no." I felt heartless, but I have to protect my family. I think he probably understands, but I'm sure he would jump at the chance if we said he could stay with us. There is a bachelor in our ward around his age and some of us are hoping maybe he will take him in. For now all we can offer him is, "How terrible for you. You'll be in our prayers." SilverGirl, that is horrible what happened to you. I'm so sorry you went through that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moksha Posted January 21, 2008 Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 She would go downtown and bring homeless men to her home to work on various fix-it projects and the like, so she could pay them cash for the work, and thus help them. HiJolly As I understand it, he worked four hours for $5. Not too equitable for someone with oodles of money. My question is not so much the wisdom of this practice (it clearly was not wise) but whether this bordered more on compassion or exploitation.Clearly it is the Christian mandate to reach deep and help those in need. Finding the wisest way to do this is the tricky part. In Salt Lake, I have found that giving to the Salvation Army, the St. Vincent DePaul Center and Catholic Charities are all wise ways to help the poor. The LDS Church contributes to these charities, so I know that this approach must be wise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentiumInside Posted January 22, 2008 Report Share Posted January 22, 2008 As I understand it, he worked four hours for $5. Not too equitable for someone with oodles of money. My question is not so much the wisdom of this practice (it clearly was not wise) but whether this bordered more on compassion or exploitation.You understand wrong. I think the true amount was very equitable. And besides, believe it or not, I ran into that guy many times in downtown SLC when I used to work there. Im not allowed to used profanity here so Ill suffice it to say, to "heck" with that guy gosh golly willilkers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WANDERER Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 · Hidden Hidden Morning Star I'm not sure...perhaps a small bag of things to tide him over of extra food or whatever or to offer to wash clothing. I would make the same choice and put family first. When he does get his housing you could help him with getting started. You aren't responsible for the choice he made and its rather sad to see a cycle of abuse going on there. And Moshka's suggestions are all good ones, there are other ways to help and many people in need. Link to comment
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