Hi there. If the church wanted to hide the fact that Patriarchal blessings were in fact rehearsed and the same for everybody:
1. They would prohibit any kind of talk of personal patraiarchal blessings to any other individual
2. All the Patriarchal blessings would be incredibly similar.
Based on the fact that neither 1, nor 2 are true, ( Although we are advised to view the blessings as personal sacred experiences/documents and to choose wisely who you share them with, you are not prohibited to talk about them) I would say that the church is true, you ARE being tested with your Faith, especially if it's eating you alive like this. However, I don't blame you for wondering what the heck that's about.
Good luck! (PS- this is sunny-fibi )