countrygirl66
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Posts posted by countrygirl66
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I am pretty sure if the prophet says that a g/l lifestyle is wrong that adopting children is included with that. (see the family proclamation)
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You may see they are rearing fine children at this point but I don't think enough time has gone by to see the generational effects of this kind of rearing. I understand where many beleive that a g/l couple is better than an abusive situation. I really really wonder in 4 or 5 generations though how will children raised in g/l situations view morality and families and reproduction. How will they accecpt the plan of salvation. You may feel that i am mixing my issues. To me however this is a long term mixed issue and the effect on our future generations is at stake. This is not a short term issue. If prop 8 passes the same people will continue to fight for it to be changed. If it fails they will move on to what they want changed and accecpted next. For me this is a fight about morality and a core beleif of what is right and what is wrong.
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I guess our experiences are different. I also grew up in the system and lived with foster parents who eventually adopted me. I dealt so much with figuring out who i was and finding my way in life that a g/l situation would have ruined any chance i had at accepting a traditional family for myself in the future. You can be angry because the system failed you it fails all of us often, but in my experience and opinion having a mom and a dad made it possible to see that men and women could be good and so could a family. It gave me the hope of a forever family. Wether you like it or not a G/L couple will never be a forever family. So once again I feel that you go from one bad situation to another.
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Sometimes lying can become a habit. I lied a lot when I was a teen and it lessened as an adult. The strange thing is that I would lie about things that didn't matter. Once i decided (as an adult to work on it) I realized that I hate contention and avoiding it is what would ususally lead to lying. Haven't done it for years and it is a releif but it still is the first thing that pops into my mind if I think someone will be upset or be disappointed in me. Hope you can find the answers you need, would just say that change must come from within.
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lets put it this way if a bio weapon was about to be released onto america then all would run screaming for the govt to do something to help us. Most would find their way to the knees and ask heavenly father for help and protection. But in our world the same type of behavior hides under (leagalizing drugs) CA (legalizing prostitution w/prop K) CA (legalizing gay marriage) MA & CA legalizing pornography (free speech argument)
G/L choices lead to major major illness which very few can afford to pay for so we pick up the tab. It leads to a major disconnect between who men and women really are and what our divine roles are. (Our divine gifts do not really change unless we work to change them) (watch little children play and see what they do) Heavenly father wether you beleive the bible, book of mormon, d & c or all of the above has given us the the information we need to be a happy and successful people, but just like the jews, nephites, and jaradites and others we struggle because of the simplicity of the way. Can you imagine if there was no immorality, no drinking, no drugs, no abuse. I know I know we will have to wait to experience that, but we can do our best in the meantime to create the world we want to have our families live in.
(i am waiting to be yelled at by some now)
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:lol:I for one loved your poster. It said to me that you can't sit on the fence, it is either up on the wall or below in the crowd. Thanks for the smile.
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The plan of salvation for mankind is as it has always been. There are those who accecpt it and those who fight it. But either way it is the same. The proclamation on the family is crystal clear. We love the sinner but hate the sin. Having been a foster parent for a time I can promise you that legalizing marriage is just clearing the way for g/l couples to foster and adopt children. I have children that are fighting with all they have to find their way in life, they do not need this added burden. I sat in a church class not long ago and listened to a sister say that it would be better for a child to be placed in a g/l home than remain in abuse, changing one wrong situation for another doesn't fix anything. I have friends and family who have made this choice with their free agency. I love them but hate what they have chosen. They have basically chosen to alienate the holy ghost, and choose what will lead to nothingness. How can I agree in any way with that. God has a plan for eternal families. You have to choose what you beleive is right. But you cannot have it both ways. Heavenly father wants as many as possible to return to him and have eternal families. The choice of g/l doesn't coincide with that. This is not really about agency or choice at all it (is) about core belief. Maybe rather than convincing you will have to ponder and decide what you really beleive. I wish you well on your journey.
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keep posting secret sister. It is a good safe place to post and vent without and repercussions. We are all just worried about you and want to see you safe. Take gentle care we are here to listen and talk if you need us.
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hi just wanted to say that not wanting people to know is ok but please remember that at one time or another we all go to the bishop to repent of our sins and get help for the stumbling blocks we have. I think maybe people would understand better than you think. Satan wants you to beleive that everyone will think your bad. You are not just doing what we all do and that is trying our best to find our way back to heavenly father. The only other advice i would have is remove anything that can give you acess to it for now and get help from you bishop. Take care
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hi taisama,
I have a 15 year old son who is also struggling. He isn't sure if the church is true and though he doesn't have a pornography addiction it is a huge temptation for him and could easily become an addiction. He experimented with drugs this summer and we found out. I took him and turned him in to the police and let the consequences fall and then we grounded him for the summer. I guess it is no suprise that we haven't been his favorite people. He really struggles with anger also. He goes to seminary but hates it, he goes to church and young mens but hates it also. I just wanted to say from a parents perspective that we love him more than life and are trying to do the best we can for him. Ultimately we know the change will have to come from within. We have seen some improvement as he has started earning back privledges but he still gets really angry that we don't completely trust him. I think heavenly father is the one who will know how to best touch his heart and that is what we pray for. My only advice to you would be to study the story of alma the younger. He had such struggles, but with the lords help had a mighty change of heart. The lord will never force that upon us but if we ask he will help us to achieve it. Good luck and I hope you find the answers you are looking for. Take care and be gentle with your family, they probably love you more than you realize.
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Hi gretchen
I am sorry you are feeling so bad right now. I just wanted to say hold on the light will come. It may take a while but it will come. There will be good days to come and you want to be here for them. I know how hard depression can be and those feelings that this life is just too hard to keep going. I know those times that you just need someone to reach out and not dissappoint you. Remember if all around you don't meet that need get on your knees, heavenly father is near. I haven't had difficulty with cutting but I deal with self destructive behaviors and I have learned a couple of things about it concerning me. First that I want to hurt myself or sabatoge my life before anyone else can so then I can still have some say about it. Second that hurting myself can releive stress and help me to dissassociate or feel something, whatever it is that I am lacking. The problem is this kind of behavior is only a short term releif and longterm problems. I can't promise that people will meet your needs, but I know that heavenly father will help you. Remember you are his little child first and he loves you as a perfect father. It seems that SA creates such destructions and havoc in our lives that it may take a lifetime to resolve. Hang on the light will come. Take gentle care.
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hi secretsister,
So sorry you are not feeling the love and gratitude a daughter/son of god should. I hope the counciler is able to help you realize that although all marriages have their troubles things like this require outside help to work out. I wonder if you h realizes that it is not your job to make him happy. I mention this because that is what it took for me to work out my marriage, is to realize that my h was not responsible for my happiness. I want him to be happy and he does me but ultimately i am responsible for my own happiness and so is he. It almost sounds like your h beleives if you would just do ??? then he could be happy. Life does not work that way so he is trampling on your spirit and that is painful. There is nothing that you can do to make someone happy. It in (my opinion) is mostly a choice. I am so sorry for the pain you feel. Wanted you to know I am thinking of you. I hope you are able to find some peace. As far as his backhanded compliments, it is heartbreaking because the things he does for you should be done because you are wonderful just the way you are. If he continues to pick you apart it will take you a very long time to repair the damage. In my case I am disorganized and overwhelmed most of the time, but that is the best I can do for right now in my life so it should be appreciated. There was a time in my life that I thought if I just was good enough or put myself out enough that I could make my h happy. It sort of gave him an excuse to continue the way he was. When I decided that I was worth better than what I was getting he had to make the choice to improve or be alone. We have stayed together because of the changes that he and i have made. But I know I could have stayed and been emotionally absent. I am glad you are working to address the problems in the marriage now. Take gentle care of yourself and know you have great worth in the eyes of the lord.
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Happy birthday from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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hi lexish
I think a maybe it is something that gets worse this time of year. I find myself much more easily depressed. I don't know it this will help, but here are a few things I do to help. Change my lightbulbs to something brighter, if I don't have good lighting this time of year it can really do me in, Go to the tanning salon once a week, the infusion of light all around you can help to releive some of the darkness that you can feel. Be around people, I can't always deal with friends because I'm not up to it, but you can go to a rest home, a senior center, etc. where there are a lot of people around that won't expect too much from you. The other thing I do is find a good book wrap up in blankets with my favorite drink and treat and waste a day just reading. You mentioned being anorexic to be happy. I have an ed and it doesn't ever make me happy. It just drains my happiness away when it is out of control. Be really careful. I know there are times that I think why am I not happy, I have to remember that some days are just that way and they will pass. If you can go to the temple grounds and just sit there and spend some time. There are times I have even fallen asleep in my car. When I hear the scriptures that talk of jesus and heavenly father as light it has it's own meaning for me. Light for me can do wonders. Sometime it feels like heavenly father is silent, but I have come to feel that in those times he is just quietly sitting with me helping me to get through. Take gentle care of yourself.
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hi hordak,
Sorry you are struggling so much. I had a couple of thoughts for what they are worth. I quit my day job about 13 years ago, prior to that I was working in the corporate world. It is was a very difficult time for me. There are so many men/women that I ran across that cheat on their wives/husbands. It starts with saying simple things like you work hard can't you meet us and such and such and have a little fun. Surely your husband doesn't expect you to never have any fun. If me and my h had an argument and I was upset it went something like this. You shouldn't have to be treated that way, noone should have to put up with that. If I was alone at lunch it would go something like this, You want to have lunch, your h will let you have friends that are guys won't he. Little by little they create contention in a marriage and can make you think you are missing out on something. I was lucky that I was able to say no to the traps laid all about, but I saw many who walked right into them. The reality is that life is difficult and I myself beleive that you don't go clubbing, unless you go together. You don't go to lunch with someone of the opposite sex unless there is more than two of you. It is a slippery slope and your wife may be confused about what she wants. She may be getting one kind of life at work and something else at home. See if she would be willing to lay down some ground rules. Also find a kind way to help her see what she could be giving up. She may not be seeing the value in what she has. I hope you can work things out. Good luck.
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I am not a learned as the others here, but this is something I have thought a lot about. A couple of things that I have had come to mind over the years that I feel comfortable with is, 1- God has his own reasons for what he does. Only he knows what will be best for us. example why was I born in america and so many others were born in war and destruction. 2- During the civil rights era I do not beleive that all church members could have delivered the lords message in the lords way and with the righteous attitude that he expects. So I think some of that timing may have had something to do with our worthiness as a people. 3- As I understand it at one time the tribe of levi had the priesthood but the others did not. Because it was what the lord saw fit to happen. 4- As far as our history, I do not beleive that it ever had anything to do with the lord not loving all of his children equally. He does know our strengths and weaknesess and what we can overcome. I have wondered if things had been reversed if I would have had the faith that I have seen the people of africa have. I am not so sure that I would have. They seem so happy and so joyous with so little. We are freaking out because of our current financial situation. They seem to live in really tough and unfair circumstances and still find faith and joy in making the best of their circumstances. These are just my opinions and what has felt right to me. thanks
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thanks haven't even heard of this. Excited to see it. I kind of quit going to movies because they were just never that good. Think i will go see this. Thanks again
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hi
I am glad your appointment went well. Please listen to the spirit and follow what it tells you. Be aware of your surroundings and be safe. I hope going to the counciler is great for you. Maybe they can help you with whatever decisions will be right for you at this time. Take gentle care.
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hi secretsister
Hope you are ok. I have been praying for you to find the answers you need. Please take steps to be safe. I am not saying this will happen to you but want to share an experience with you if it is ok. (my little sister was married to a guy that was unusual to say the least. When she decided she had to leave for a while he locked her in the bathroom and nailed the door shut for 4 days. It was his mom that finally found her.) I am not trying to scare you, but say that once he had done that he went on with his regular life. Like there was no problem. In his mind he had solved the problem. He wasn't going to leave or let her leave. If you are ready to take time away just go and you can let him know later. It sounds like he is having a major mental problem that you may need to be safe from. Please take gentle care of yourself. Please care as much for you as you do for him. Ask you leader point blank for help. He has to give it or find it for you. The handbook says that the first responsibility is to keep victims safe. Know I am thinking of you and hoping all is well. Take care.
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hi someanonymousguy
I wish I had answers for you. I would share with you that I grew up in a small town and school was a giant nightmare for me. It was something to get through. I too prayed to somehow be removed from the situation. It never happened. A lot of times church was the same. I will say that I still have my testimony that the church is true. I do not know why when you are in that situation others around you just make things worse. I was a foster kid growing up in a small narrow minded town. I pretty much hated most of it. The good news is that once I graduated, other than seeing my parents I never had to look back. I don't know if this will bring comfort to you but I want you to know you are not alone.
On the upside, I learned to do a lot of things that I could do by myself. At times I had friends but for the most part it was not permanent. And the friends that I sometimes had were harder on me than those who never claimed to be my friends. I as an adult have had a much better life than most of them. I was able to develope patience and long suffering at an early age. It has benefitted me a lot when I am called to work with an especially difficult child or notice a shy one in my ward.
I hope you will keep posting and know you are not alone. You can find many friends here that have struggles of their own and draw support from that. Take gentle care of yourself.
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hi secretsister
I am so sorry for how things are going for you. Please be good to yourself. We are all given chances in this life and maybe you were one of your husbands and he will have to decide weather to move forward or stay stuck. Take gentle care of yourself and know you are loved by your heavenly father. I know he has carried me more times than I have walked. Let him carry you a little ways. Take gentle care and know your in my prayers.
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hi
just wanted to say be so careful with your asthma it can get out of control and be really scary. 3 of us in my family have it to varying degrees. Not being able to breath can make you panic even more. My daughter sometimes hits the point than we are walking a fine line because we have done everything we can for her. Most docs have free samples of steroids and standard things to get you by till you see the doc. Take care.
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hi daenvgiell
I had a couple of thought to share hope they help a little. I dated this guy that I liked sooooo much. I mean he was awsome it really could of gone somewhere. Only problem, I was a good mormon and he was a good catholic. We were talking one night and he was telling me how exciting it was when he went to rome and got to see the pope from a distance. I knew then that it would be too big of a difference for us. It was heartbreaking probably more for me than him but we went our different ways. In the end he married a good catholic girl and is very happy I married a good mormon boy and am happy. I will never regret that decision. My kids baptised, having the priesthood in my home, my kids being active and working towards their own temple marriages. Don't make a decision based on what you want right now for what you really want.
Also I do sometimes go to family things where there is alcahol etc. I take my own drinks and make sure they have a screw on lid and keep them with me. If I do have a drink there I make it myself and keep it with me, if I set it down I don't touch it again. Better safe than sorry. Take care.
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I think if we can save others from future hurts by exposing our past ones it is for the common good. Just be careful before it is published. Really do a lot of checking as to how your story will be used and to what it will be posted as. The other church may also make use of your story to their objectives. Pray and see how you feel about it. Also check with your Bishop, he may have connections for you as to how to protect yourself. Take Care.
Mixed member relations
in Christian Beliefs Board
Posted
hi emohawk
I am LDS and beleive it with all my heart. I also have family members from different faiths and some who practice no faith at all. I love them all. I would try to remember that you still have core beleifs in common. For me they are things like we all want good marriages, we all want to raise our kids well and are doing our best, we all beleive in god and that he loves all of our children. I would also say that most faiths help people strive to be better people than they would without faith. Some of my family used to be worried that I was going to try to convert them to my faith. I have told them that I beleive it with all my heart and know it is right. I have also told them that I can only answer their questions and share my testimony but conversion would be between them and the lord. It has helped for them to know I love them even if we live somewhat differently. Congratulations on finding what you feel is right.