countrygirl66
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Posts posted by countrygirl66
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hi sister, I am glad you are safe. We are here for you and are praying that you will find the answers you need. Take gentle care.
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The ability to create a family is at the core of your understanding of marriage, then adoption is absolutely at the core of this discussion, as that is the main means of anyone but heterosexual couples forming a family.
Whether or not it would be best for children to be adopted by a heterosexual couple, I will not not argue. Simple practicality deems it impossible. A quick google seach reveals some pretty amazing adoption statistics:
Every year approximately 250,000 children are adopted and 14,050,000 children grow out of the system as orphans, according to The Home for Good Foundation Adoption Ministry.
That means about 1.74% of children get adopted. Even if these statistics are grossly innaccurate, that's an incredibly small number.
When the only choices for a child are to grow up in a orphanage or be raised by a loving gay couple, which would you call for? Still, then, should we not allow it? What about single-parent adoptions?
This is an argument that is quoted often. The reality is that adoption is difficult to make happen. I know of many married couples that wait on adoption lists for years trying to get a child. I have adopted from the foster care system, and it is not easy. The reason that the percentage is so small is not the lack of traditional families willing to adopt children it is the red tape, family courts, governments, judges that answer to (noone). It took me over a year to adopt one daughter from the state system and I had to go to months and months of court hearings. Her situation was desperate and her bio parents were the exception (in a bad way) not the rule. That is in a bad situation, in a good one it can take even longer. When I was a child getting adopted by my foster parents took about 7 years. Even then it wasn't the courts that facilitated it, it was my foster parents and my pleading for my bio parents to give me up. I have a daughter that I have had for 6 years and though I have a permanant legal guardianship (that can be revoked in court) I can't facilitate an adoption for her. (THE SYSTEM FOR ADOPTION *********) But that being said it is not the lack of traditional families willing to take children.
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I believe that we as people make living the Gospel harder than it is....:)
I know sometimes i sure do. It is simple but I seem to complicate it by thinking there should be a special exception for me sometimes. I get there eventually but I am the one that makes it complicated.
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I think Nephi physically describes himself because he is the kind of young man most young men would want to look like. I wonder if he and Joseph Smith were similar in build. I know my 15 yr old son looks up to the ute football team. I pray that they will be good men, because he is watching him. I have told my son before that I beleive that moroni, nephi, and joseph smith could have made one heck of a football team.
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I am sorry for the difficult situation your in. Contention in a marriage can be so difficult to deal with. I don't know if this will help or not, but here goes. My s/in law became active and went through the temple a few years ago. My brother gave her a really hard time about it. He beleives that all churches want is your money and wanted nothing to do with them. She kept at it. She was finally able to figure out that my brother was afraid 1 - the church would take his money 2 - that she wouldn't think he was good enough for her anymore 3- that she would expect him to change because she has 4 - that the church would take over their lives 5 - that the church would make him their new conversion project. None of these things happened and as time has gone on, he has seen the blessing his son and d/inlaw have from the church and temple blessings. He has 3 other kids not members. They have had a much harder time. My brother has never joined the church (though I hold out hope). His wife wishes that he would give it a chance. But as of now he is happy to let her do what he calls the church thing. I think a lot of his frustration stems from him not wanting to be different or live differently. (his nick name in the family is uncle f bomb) sorry didn't meant to be offensive but that is who is is for now. Take care.
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Thankyou so much for your heartfelt post. It rang so true with me when you talked about the attraction you have for who you wife is and her spirit. I grew up in such a immoral and substance abusive background, that I could have never found my h if I had only been searching for a physical attraction. For me because of my background physical attraction is so mixed up with bad things that I would never trust me eternal soul to it. When I married my h I was looking at things like his honesty, willingness to work, testimony, following the word of wisdom, and loyalty. I would do anything for him and have to work very hard to try to be worthy of him. It is not easy because I have so many bad things in my experience. I am forever grateful that I married someone who is a good person and loves the lord. I have had a very happy 23 years of marriage. My children are now becoming old enough that I can see that the tide has been changed for them. They are able to look for the good things in life without all the bad in the past. Bless you and your family.
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You know I have wondered why my kids always say me and my b/s are a bunch of rednecks. Thanks for explaining it to me skippy. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
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Well I am old (42) so I grew up with centipede, jungle hunt, donkey kong. My kids play video games and really like them. My 15 yr old son has halo, star wars etc, my 18 yr old plays tony hawk etc., my 12 and 9 yr old play midnight club racing, and kid games. I hate the violence and any games we have have to get through me first. There are a few at the garbage dump because someone didn't ask before they bought. I think a lot of it is moderation. When summer comes we put all game systems up until fall and it is cold. The fun thing is for my kids it is like christmas every fall. I hate halo, but my son loves it so I play with him. He makes fun of how bad I am and I ask a lot of questions about what I am supposed to be doing. He also has friends come over and sometimes they all play on the big screen.
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I think it is about why we voted for who we did, not who or what party they are. And if we don't vote at all I think that will be brought up as well.
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Am I a racist? I don't think so, but I do have prejiduces based on my experiences. (for ex - If I see a really large physically fit man, I will cross the street to not have to walk by him) Will he hurt me? probably not, but my experience has been that I don't want to find out. Do I hate him? no
I work with a girl that will only shower once a week. Do I hate her? no Am I willing to be around her at the end of the week? no
Between my h/kids and my extended family we pretty much cover the spectrum on color and nationality. My h/me/kids have friends from all colors and cultures too. I think it comes down to wether differences interest you or offend you. Ex - I have a friend from the island of tonga. She makes me laugh, because she is so laid back and sings all the time. Some people get really irritated with her about it. Do I? no I love to see it in her I wish I had the ability to be as happy as her.
I grew up in an extremely prejiduce area. People hated people of color because their parents, and their parents parents hated them. There were very few people of color in the area. I don't always know how to define prejiduce, but I know it when I see it. I remember feeling sick at times growing up because of the things I would see and hear.
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I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Hopefully the bishop can help him find what is the problem. I will be praying for you. Take gentle care
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I wish I could say I could live the united order, but I am not really sure. I sometimes think it would be easy if there was more than enough for everyone, but what if there if very little. I know I struggle with pride and that is probably why i am not sure. I love to pay my thithing, have no problem paying my taxes and I enjoy donating (but usually only through the church). I think maybe it is hard to comprehend because I look around and look at me and wonder how my neighborhood would do it. There are a lot of very wealthy righteous people where I live, I am in the middle. I wonder how I would feel to take from them what isn't mine. To think of taking everything I have, giving it to the bishop and wait to see what he would give me back for my needs? A big test of faith. I know we have so much more that our ancestors and more than people in other countries, and maybe that is the stumbling block.
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My worship of heavenly father grows and grows as I age, I think it is in part to being able to see how he has worked in my life to give and teach me the things I need. He is a perfect parent and I want more and more to strive to be like him. Loving, patient, long suffering, forgiving.
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hi I think you have the answers you were looking for, just wanted to say welcome and I am impressed that you looked to find your own answers. thanks:)
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This is thrown out to no one in particular or to point fingers. Why is it that when some one decides that they are gay, that it automatically means they are now free to break the law of chastity?
Some feel they are gay and keep the law of chastity so they are members in good standing. (you never really hear much from them) They are keeping the lords commandments. I think the ones that kick and scream are just like anyone else breaking commandments. They want to justify and convince not take responsibility. I can say this, because that is what I do when I am not doing what I should.
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You cannot make a woman take the place of a father or a man take the place of a mother. No matter the argument, you can't do it. It is just biology. So where does that leave children. Yeah I hear all the arguments, I work for one of the biggest supporters of g/l. You can say that they are wonderful parents and their children grow up well adjusted, but how many generations has there really been to know. Children need fathers and mothers. You talk about 25 years, maybe in 25 years we can study denmark (who started with ssm) and see what their country is like, how their children are doing. I have a cousin (who I deeply care for) that because of several reasons decided that the l lifestyle was for her. We have picked her up in emergency rooms, she has been through several relationships not ended well. She became pregnant once and the miscarriage was a blessing. She now lives on her own and is doing better than she has ever done. I am not saying she is the norm, but it is what I have seen. Give me 25 years and maybe I will see something different. (again this is a respectful disagreement with you)Just my opinions
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I don't believe in trying to stop someones right to live their life the way they choose, as long as it doesnt impinge on the rights of others, which I dont believe this does.
What about the rights of children?
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The ward I grew up in there was a man called as bishop. I was a teenager at the time. He was hot tempered, impatient and his wife was a terrible housekeeper. They were farmers with 8 kids and she always had the children of a foster daughter she had raised. He was at the time the perfect man to be called and she was a great influence on me also. A lot of the adults in the ward didn't like the lords choice, but I can distinctly remember the influence they had on me and the other 25 kids in the youth program at the time. I think of her often and know she had a big influence on teaching me to be happy with who I was. She was always upbeat and happy herself. I guess my point is that sometimes someone is called to a position or in a position for what they can bring to the lives of some. I am not trying to belittle your situation at all, just saying that maybe there is someone there that needs her. I hope things get better for you.
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Ok I'm a little slow. I have a brother that was murdered at 16. He was not living a righteous life at that time. It is hard to bear the thought of him being in a bad place. He lived according to that which he was taught. Where would that put him? I am not disagreeing, I really am looking for an answer. Thanks
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I love the law of concecration. I always wonder how well I would be able to truely live it. I ask myself at times if the lord asked me to give up all I have tomorrow would I do it gladly. (not sure) I think of job a lot. When I get something new (which is seldom/we single handedly support the used business ha ha) I ask myself what if I lost this tomorrow. Can I appreciate it today but be fine without it tomorrow. My h has pioneer relatives that lived he law of concecration in what was called (the muddy) sucessfully. From what I have read, it worked because there was no selfishness. I have wondered how unselfish I could be. I have wondered if I would be able to be nonjudgemental if someone got more than me. Right now it seems that the only thing I can do is raise my kids. They have issues that take up most of my time. I think along with concecration we need to remember there is a place and time for everything. I like your topic and am looking forward to learning with you.
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I guess for me Christianity is really something I left behind to become LDS. And it seems like a step back
-Charley
hi when people ask me (mostly my family) I say I am a Latter Day Saint. If people ask if I am christian I say yes. First and formost I am a Latter Day Saint. I love the title of Latter Day Saint because it reminds me of the time in which I live and what my responsibilty in that is. Take care.
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hi jj
Wanted to say hang in there. I will say there have been so many times in my life expecially as a young person/young adult that I have had to follow the gospel principles by faith. I have been blessed richly because of it. I have in no way been perfect at it but just kept trying. I have between a bio family, step family, and adopted family 15 brothers and sisters. We run a huge range of beleif and problems. Some have chosen g/l as a solution to their problems. Some have chosen drugs/alcahol. Some have chosen ???. I guess what I wanted to share most with you is that on the day I married my h was the scariest day of my life. I knew I was doing what the lord has counciled (marry a righteous man in the temple) but my fear made it a hard step to make. After we were married I kind of freaked out (afraid the marriage would fail, afraid he would leave me, afraid he would turn bad). He hung in there with me. My fear of the temple I overcame by continually going. (a lot by myself) I learned a lot by being there and just enjoying the spirit. It took time. I overcame my fears with time, patience with my h and myself. He couldn't really understand but I wanted to be the first in my bio family and step family to have only 1 h. I didn't want to put my kids through what I went through. The great thing is that we have been married 23 years. I think my h was picked especially for me because he has the ability to keep trying with me. The three that saved us kids so 7 of 8 made it to adulthood in my bio family was my grandparents and great grandma. They gave up all they had in life to feed us and provide us a place to live. When we were left they came and found us. A few years ago I was baptised for my grandma and my great grandma. As I came out of the water I felt that I had fulfilled a commitment I had made to them in the preexistence. (they would save us in mortal life and I would do their temple work.) They were never members in this life. I do feel though that they fulfilled the mission assigned to them. Take care of yourself and be patient with yourself. For me marriage was a scary step to take but so worth it.
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Our church says that we should marry LDS partners. That being said, there are generally more women who cannot find active partners than males. So this leaves many LDS women without any options except to live the life of a nun, marry a non-Mormon or go to the fertility doctor and get inseminated in order to have kids..
I have thought a lot about this too. I know of many wonderful sisters that just haven't been able to meet anyone worthy.
in the USA. The FLDS would be smart to adopt the ancient Islamic practice of sending out their young men and marrying and converting women to their faith. I have heard of some Mormon polygamist groups who do this. This helps expand the gene pool and greatly increasing the number of children in their particular sect...
Sorry I disagree. I don't think this is greatly exaggerated. (Just my opinion)
Son't some Jewish people still paractice animal sacrifice? Also, Muslims practice it on a grand scale. A Muslim friend of mine recorded the sacrifice of a water buffalo when he was visiting relatives in Bangladesh. Didn't seem like such a bad thing as the meat is donated to the poor and the animal is killed in a rapid manner....
My best friend growing up was a sheep farmer and a lot of the islamic students from the Utah State University would come up to her farm and buy a sheep and sacrifice it there. I don't have a problem with it as a matter of fact it was interesting because nothing was wasted in how they did it. I was just saying I can't comprehend it because it is not a part of my religious practice.
I would think the Proclaimation on the Family is FAR deeper in meaning than that though.
I would agree the the family proclaimation has a deep meaning for members and non members. I was just pointing out that a lot of what it states would have been just part of everyday life for the pioneers. ex - marriage is m/w only, fathers are responsible to support their families, mothers / nurturing etc. It was how they lived, it was how most people lived in general.
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Hi,
I will go on record. If I lived in CA, I would vote against. When I last sat for a recommend, I told the counselor who did the interview that I opposed the church's stance in the manner in which it is. I don't have an issue with the stance, I think they should be against it. I have an issue with the manner in which the are doing it. This is going to cause more damage to long lasting relationships than people will know or be able to calculate.
Years ago when Ezra Taft Benson was the prophet he stated in conference that women should stay at home. (to the best of their ability) I got yelled at by most people I worked with. Most of my friends that are not lds some who are but not active in the religion. The bottom line is was he wrong? No. I have worked 2 graveyards a week since so my kids always have a parent home. (that is the best of my ability) Just because what the church may support and tell us isn't popular, doesn't mean their wrong. I have an awful lot of teens at my house after school, most have no parent home. (ok I am ready to be yelled at)
First year of marriage, scared for my life...
in Family
Posted
Be safe first and foremost. Then you can talk to your heavenly father and see what steps you need to take for yourself. There may be a situation that you haven't thought of yet.
I have a good friend who is blind from diabeties, her h has bipolar to the tenth degree. He is court orderd to take meds and does ok when he does. He still cycles though and that is when it becomes unsafe for her. They have stayed married but maintain separate residences. It is difficult, but that way they can spend time together and he stays with his family, but when he starts to cycle he moves to his apartment until the cycle passes. Nothing is perfect and she has called when he has freaked and left her somewhere and she doesn't know where she is. But it is her choice and it works for her.
I am not saying you should stay married or divorce, just for now get where you are safe. Then you can take the time you need to pray, ponder, seek council and decide what will be best for you. With you physical problems you could be seriously hurt by even a small altercation. Take gentle care of yourself.